My list, and a life lesson from a great woman...

Something to believe in. We all need it. Hope, faith, a reason to believe that brighter days are on the horizon. As I watched the 44th president of the United States swear his oath of office, people around me openly wept. I was moved as well, but not by the fact that he was the first African-American president, rather because it seems he is a man of integrity in a time where values have been lost.

We so desperately need people of character to lead us. Seems like every time you read the news some jerk just ran a company into the ground, all while taking a multi-million dollar golden parachute to safety. If it's not that, it's another senator/governor who (insert your favorite confidence deflating scum bag move here) and shakes our already weakened confidence in our elected officials. I prefer "pulling a Blagojevich" which means you abuse power and attempt to profit from filing a position normally elected by the people, all while telling the country you are a man of integrity who wants to bring respect back to your office and state.

I define character as what a person does when no one is there to see it. Choices a person makes on a daily basis. It is found in the way you treat others, both the powerful and the powerless. Many things shape a persons character, and many people have impacted my character throughout my life. One powerful influence on me early on was my grandmother. She always had a unique way of thinking about things. Not only could she do the cool things in life like teach you how use a fork to make the crisscross lines in a peanut butter cookie, but she had a knack for helping you see the best in people.

I remember when I was in elementary school and I was having trouble with a bully. Walking home he had decided for no good reason to take out his anger on someone, and I was apparently his closest target. Later as I visited my grandparents I was sulking and must have complained about that 'no good kid' who lived across the street. My grandmother had a different take. The conversation went something like this:

"Surely you can't say there is no good in him at all, can you?" she replied.
"Grandma, this boy is nothing but pure evil. There is not a single thing good about him. I wish he were never born!"
"It may be hard for you to see now, but there is good in all of us. No matter what that bully has done to you, or how much you dislike him, there are things about him you just understand."

And with that, she put in front of me a piece of paper and a pencil (my grandmother always wrote in pencil, on yellow legal pads, in perfect cursive. No one does that anymore...so sad.)

"Now, sit here and write out 10 positive things about that bully." She said.

I remember thinking there was no way was I going to come up with one good thing to say about this scum, let alone ten!

I made my way through the list, and while I didn't become best friends with him, I did start to see him in a different light. It was a small thing, but it had a big impact. Little did I know that my grandmother had just planted a seed that would blossom into a powerful life skill that I remember all these years later. I can recall one specific time in my life more recently when my ability to see good in others came in handy.

I was a Resident Advisor in the halls at WMU, and I did not particularly care for one of my fellow R.A.'s. He was not doing a very good job in my opinion, and I readily told him and others just that. Our hall director got wind of this rift between us and had a team building session. Guess what he asked us to do? Yup, list ten good qualities about the other person. I easily breezed through my list (you know, I have done this before) and when I was finished I began to see the other R.A. in a whole new light.

While I still disagreed with some of the things he was doing (or not doing), I noticed that he had some redeeming qualities that I admired. He was quiet and reserved (anyone who knows me well can see why I may not have understood this personality trait at first), but he was well respected by his residents. He earned their respect. We soon became friends and worked well together for the rest of the term. He found me on Facebook just the other day, and he is doing well in life.

What does it all mean? I don't know, I guess I can sometimes be a bit of a Pollyanna, always seeing the good and bright side. I am definitely a glass half full kind of person (or if I were an engineer I would say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be). It is dangerous to not be aware of others deficiencies or shortcomings, and none of this is going to bring about world peace, but I can't help but think that this world could be a better place to live if everyone had met my grandmother. If we take the time to truly understand each other, and see the good in all of us, who knows what we could accomplish?

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates

Strange how things evolve. Take me for example. Eight years ago I didnt have a care in life. My biggest concern was where the next keg party was. As I reflected on my life, I thought I had everything well in hand. If asked whether or not I was smart/experienced/mature I would most certainly have answered with 'yes'. Not cocky, nor elitist, just confident.

Its funny how you look back at how you felt just a few short years ago. Remember how you "knew what was going on"...and now you think "what an idiot I was then. Oh how little I knew!" You feel confident about what you know now, yet inevitably in five years you will look back on this very moment with awe at what a schmuck you were (are)...Strange.

When I met my wife things changed for me. Now, everything I did not only impacted me, it also impacted her. I also felt an obligation to her family, to show them that I was taking care of her and looking out for us. I slowed down a little. Stopped taking huge risks. Things had evolved. Then, my daughter was born...Whoa.

Now I stare down every intersection before pulling out on a green light. I glare at fast "out of control" drivers. I worry about healthy foods. I exercise and take care of myself just that much more. When the stock market tanks, I get depressed. I read the safety instructions on the package (this would seriously amuse the me of eight years ago). Things have evolved.

The other day we were snowmobiling, and I approached a mound of snow. Even just a couple of years ago I would have goosed the throttle and hit that thing square at about 50 mph without much regard to what was on the other side, screaming for joy the whole way down. This time I slowed down, checked behind me, put my left arm out to signal a turn, and went around. All the while thinking to myself how I need to stay safe for my wife and daughter.

I get these funny 'Daymares' (they would be nightmares, but they happen during the day). I wave goodbye to my wife as she pulls out with the baby in the car, then WHAM! They get hit by a truck or something. Scares the bejezus out of me! I know these things are no more likely to happen now than before, but there is just so much more at stake now. Never really gave it much thought before. Funny how things evolve.

I also thought I understood what it was to be an adult. After I bought a house and had 'bills to pay' I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on things. Now, when I look back I realize I had no idea what it meant to be an 'adult'. It means being responsible for others. It means putting your needs aside, and taking care of business first. Being a parent means loving someone else so much it hurts sometimes. Working so hard to make the world a safe place for your children to grow up, knowing that most of it is out of your control. I am remided of what Bob Seger says in 'Against the Wind', "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then."

Now I wonder what it is I have yet to learn. As I sit here and marvel about how little I knew a couple of years ago, I can't help but realize that the way I feel now will seem foolish through the lens of time. I remain humbled by the early lessons I have been taught by a nine month old baby girl, and I look forward to learning more from her for the rest of my life.

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

The Great War: Part III?

Well, I almost never go political in any of my ramblings (as a rule of thumb I try to avoid discussions of politics or religion), but I get the feeling that the world is ready to bust at the seems. Today there are reports that Israel will attack Iranian nuclear targets in an effort to prevent them from creating an Atom Bomb.

These attacks are to be done with or without help and coordination from the U.S. and our lame duck president. "Still President Bush" as John Stewart of the Daily Show likes to call him, has nothing to say about this. I fear that the unstable and perhaps even psychotic leadership of Iran, who openly has promised to "wipe the stain of Israel off the map", will see this attack as an extension of the United States (oh, and guess who will have to back them up/bail them out if Iran retaliates? Yup, us).

Our country is still abuzz with the hope brought by the recent election, and like him or not, Obama will certainly take us in a new direction. One of his first pledged actions would be to withdraw from Iraq and turn over security to the people of the country (ready or not). He would presumably then turn his attention to Afghanistan. Makes sense in that there is a terrorist strong hold there, but we have heaps of political trouble with local ruling governments of the area, and you can bet our presence will not be welcomed with open arms given our recent track record.

All of this happens while the Russians are getting increasingly bold with their political and military moves. Putin, who should have been out of office by now, has managed to retain power and has all but restarted the cold war. Take the Georgia invasion for example (and I am talking about the country, not the southern state in the U.S. as I heard one very confused person say a few months back, "How can we just sit back and let Russia invade one of our states?").

Now Putin is parading around his navy and has set a Russian battle ship on course to run through the Panama Canal and to dock in a former U.S. naval base...posturing a bit? I think so. The so called experts maintian this is a harmless tit for tat due to our tisk tisking response to their invasion of a democratic nation in Georgia. I am a bit nervous about Putin becoming buddy buddy with Hugo Chavez, another political leader who might be a bit crazy and has no love loss for us.

Seems to me that the world gets itself into a big mess once every thirty to forty years (give or take). The Great War, 1914; WWII, 1939; Vietnam, 1965. (Vietnam technically started in 1950, but it was just a cival war until we started sending advisors in 1960. This war could have easily turned into WWIII with the tensions involved and the communist vs. democrat overtones that peaked interest in countries such as Russia and China). The point of all of this? I just wonder if we are not the bully hitting the bee hive with a stick with our global policies and allies as of late.

I saw a funny bumper sticker the other day that sort of sums up my opinion of recent American diplomacy: "Be nice to America, or we will bring Democracy to your country!"

Here's hoping we have learned a lesson or two and can avoid the third world war...

How not to drink alcohol 101

Yesterday at the Lions game at Ford Field, I put on a clinic: How not to drink alcohol 101. Between the Bloody Mary's (of which I had never before partook) and the beer, oh and lets not forget the Captain Morgan, I had a bit too much.

Well, "a bit" would be an understatement. We began the day by tailgating outside in a parking lot. I was offered my first ever Bloody Mary, and I enjoyed it. When the cup was empty (and we're talking a full to the brim 'solo' cup) I was offered a Bud Light. Never one to turn down free drinks, I complied happily.

Just as we were about to leave for the game, the host pleaded for everyone to help finish off the remaining Bloody Mary mix. Again, I was all too happy to comply. Luckily this second drink was shared with my father, who coincidentally had a run in of his own with this same drink at last years game. But as we were about to leave I decided to chug the rest of my Bud Light, oh and the rest of my wife's Bud Light. Necessary? Of course it was! Can't leave it behind, right?

When we arrived at the suite I opened the fridge to be greeted by copious amounts of alcohol. This may have been fine had I stuck to one or the other, but I again decided to partake in Bud Light (no idea how many), only to switch to Captain Morgan. Could I have mixed a small amount in my cup and savored it slowly? Of course, but where is the fun in that? I had what amounted to approximately (and I am approximating, because from that point on the rest of the day was a bit hazy) four shots worth of Captain in two drinks that did not sit out long enough to get warm.

By the time I realized what this all was going to cost me, it was too late. I hid the unopened fifth of Captain under my shirt, and off we went. A few minutes into the car ride home (thankfully my father had the sense to switch to diet pop and guide us home safely) I went from laughing to....uh, oh.

Kristy looked back and noticed the change in my demeanor, and as she recalled later the "look" on my face. She had dad pull over as I opened my door and re-enjoyed the flavor of Bloody Mary, spicy chicken wings, chili dogs, beer and Captain Morgan. Not a good thing.

I then apparently used my cell to login to my Facebook account and leave the following status:
"Randy is mad that capt. n Morgan n the Tampampa Bay Bucaneersrs ruined his Sun aft. noon, but thankfull his wife could drive his drunk a@# hm frm the game!"

(Notice the spelling of Tampa and Buccaneers. Also, capt. n Morgan...lol)

This was followed by several drunk dials to the poor people in my phone book, one of which was in bed getting ready for a 4 AM start to his Monday work day. When I get drunk, please take my phone from me! I was shushing people, and telling them "I think I am in trouble. Kristy is going to be mad! Shhhhhhhh!"

The game was a blast, but I can't believe I did that to myself. I also feel bad that I became a burden on the rest of the group, and I thank my father and wife for getting me home (though I don't remember it).

So, let this serve as a cautionary tale. Never mix, and know your limits! If you don't drink liquor very often, you might want to stay away from it! Just say no! As for me, I am never drinking again! Till next time...

P.S.
Sorry if that was too graphic!

Come on Shoot, hit that hard six!

Casino's never really were all that appealing to me, but recently I have had occasion to visit two of the nicer casino's in Michigan. While I can't say that I am reformed, I will say that my opinion on the value of casino's as a form of entertainment has changed.

I guess I never really got into it because of my conservative fiscal tendencies. If I can buy one refillable coke and share it, I will. If the investment is not guaranteed, don't expect me to hand over wads of hard earned money. So the thought of sticking $20 into a slot machine and walking away with nothing makes me physically ill.

My first ever experience in a casino was in Petosky, MI. I tagged along out of curiosity and boredom, plus I figured it was time to see what all the excitement was about. I sat down at the quarter slots thinking that I could make the entertainment last. Fed the machine my twenty, then four and a half minutes later I was ready to cry when I realized I had no money left. Sure, it was mildly entertaining, what with the whizzers and bells, flashing lights and what not. But for the money I had just spent, I could immediately think of several ways to get much more in return.

Having this as my lone reference point, I was not sure what to think when a friend of ours suggested we hit Turtle Creek Casino a couple weeks back. I told myself to loosen up and go enjoy the sights and sounds, not to mention there was talk of a buffet (who can resist eating three servings of food that might stop your heart on the spot, while causing you to be miserable for the next 24-48 hours as you regret that last helping of bananas foster?).

We walked around and played a few games. The floor was bigger than Petosky and the games seemed better. I took my seat at a video poker machine and gave it a whirl. Max credit, hold the ace, deal. Nothing. Max credit, hold three hearts, deal. Nothing. Money dwindling, the queen seemingly laughing at me. Then, max credit, hold the three jacks, deal. Bam! Full house, and the credits start piling up! I admit, it is quite a rush.

Now I can handle the small time stuff. It has its merits as equal parts fun and opportunity to cash in a decent haul. The table games on the other hand are just not my speed. A friend of mine loves to play craps so much so that, if it weren't socially unacceptable hygienically, I think he might play the same table 48 hours straight. With all the vodka cranberries you can drink, who needs anything but a few bathroom breaks anyway?

I watched this confounding game a few times, and even with some expert tutelage from my friend I think I am more confused now than ever. Terms like "Yo" and "Hard six" in place of "eleven" and "two threes" just make it worse. Not to mention that it moves fast, and there are lots of chips and dice flying every which way. If craps could be played with pennies I suspect it might interest my mathematical and gamesmanship side, but the stakes seem a bit too high for me. My friend has an amazing ability to seemingly always walk away with house money in his pocket, but last Sunday we visited Four Winds in New Buffalo and watched a guy burn through $4,000 dollars only to reach in his pocket and cash in another $500, all the while chanting, "it's gonna come back around." Ouch.

I enjoyed my visits, and especially recommend Four Winds to anyone who likes good food, the largest gaming floor you can imagine, and reasonably priced drinks (my short Long Island was only $3). As for me? I will be back, but not with more than $20 cash on my person, and I am leaving the plastic at home.

Rebuffing my hero

Mitch Albom is sort of a hero to me. Not the kind that saves babies from burning buildings, and I don't think he wears a cape, but he is none the less a man I respect.

I have followed Mitch in the Free Press since I was 10 years old. I used to tape his articles on the Bad Boys (Pistons of the 80's and 90's) to my bedroom wall. He has written books including "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Five People you Meet in Heaven". All good reads. He also is a regular on the Sunday morning sports talk show called "The Sports Reporters" hosted by fellow WMU alum John Saunders.

Today when I saw his article on the recent moves by the Detroit Lions I had to disagree. He claims that John Kitna deserved better. See the article here:
http://www.freep.com/article/20081014/COL01/81014093/1082/rss12

And my response:
____________________________________________________________________

Mitch,

I have loved reading your books and columns, followed you since the bad boys era. It pains me to say it, but you are dead wrong on Kitna.

Is he a great guy? No doubt. Hard worker? Unquestionably. Team leader? To be sure. But here is the part you got wrong: John Kitna directly contributed to most of the losses incurred by this team in the last two plus seasons.

How many times did a costly fumble, interception or sack from Kitna cost us a game we should have won? I lost count...How many wide open receivers never got the ball because Kitna could not avoid the rush? Again, too many to count.

Even if you say Kitna is not to blame for this year’s debacle, and I don't think anyone can pin it all on him, there is still one lingering problem. Kitna is not the future of this franchise. I don't care how much you like the guy. We need to move in another direction, and we have two young QB's on the bench who would never see action without moving Kitna.

I applaud the recent moves by the Lions brass. Finally they are showing a commitment to move forward. With Kitna on the field we achieve nothing, even if we win. It is highly doubtful that we can salvage this season and we need to start evaluating what we have for the future.

Now, if your argument is that Kitna deserves better than IR, well I can almost agree with you. However, the best situation for all parties here would have been a trade, and clearly no GM out there was willing to give up any picks or prospects for an aging journeyman QB with back problems (Matt Millen is out of work you know).

From all accounts I have read, the Lions tried to arrange a trade to no avail. The only other option then is to put Kitna on IR. I am sure he would never admit the extent of the damage to his back, and we could not play the wait and see game. It's over for him in Detroit. Take a vacation John, we will see about landing you with another team this off season.

So, thanks Kitna for your time and effort, you are a helluva guy and we wish you the best. But this is a business, and we need to move on. Sorry Mitch, you got that one wrong...

____________________________________________________________________

Americana

Here is a slice of good old Americana. This Sunday we decided to thaw some pork chops and do some grillin (as it turns out, one of the packages we thought was pork chops was actually steak, but hey, that only works in my favor if you ask me).

I don't like to bake meat if I can grill instead, and pan frying anything tends to leave you with something more akin to shoe leather. The only problem is that I had no pork chop grilling recipes or experience. So to the internet I went, and this is what I found:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 (3/4 to 1 inch thick) pork chops

1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. lemon pepper seasoning
1/2 tsp. dried whole oregano

Sprinkle pork chops, with salt, lemon pepper, and oregano. Place chops in 4 to 5 inches from coals. Grill over low to medium hot coals 25 minutes or until the chops are no longer pink, turning once. 4 servings.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I used a little olive oil with the rub. The result? Mmmmmm...delicious! It was mouthwatering. I of course adjusted the amounts involved due to the fact that we had only two chops and they were not 1'' thick. It took considerably less than 25 minutes to grill them.

The ale you see pictured is the new offering from Anheuser Bush (now owned by a Belgian co. called Inbev by the way, which sort of cheapens the title of this post and their beer). It is a suprisingly good brew all things considered. It is amber in color, has a rich smooth flavor, and sort of reminds me of Killians Irish Red. I don't like a lot of hops in my beer, and it needs to have a nice finish without biting, and this malty caramel goodness does the trick. I am a fan. I shall consume more.

As you look at the picture of our dinner, you may have noticed that the steak looks like pac man is about to eat one of the pork chops. Do not adjust your set, this is just the cut I had to make to be sure that the steak was not still mooing inside. I like mine on the medium rare side and am not afraid of the pink center, but I have on occasion been too quick to pull the meat off the grill, causing it to be a little too bloody for my wife's taste. Since I am not a professional and do not own a meat thermometer, I just cut into the center and peek. Doesn't do much for the visual presentation, but again, I am not a professional.

It was a fantastic weekend for us. Our baby girl is now six months old, I ran in the Campus Classic 5k Saturday, there is a bite in the air, football on tv, steak/chops on the grill and cold beer in the fridge. If that ain't the American dream, I don't know what is...

TIP:
Just a reminder, for those of you who get the automatic e-mail for new posts, don't forget you can see this blog at: http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/
Some people did not understand the "Sound of Pure Joy" post because it has a video on the actual blog that did not come through in the e-mail.
Also, there are still a few spots left on the auto e-mail list so if you would like to receive new posts via your e-mail let me know!