Kids say the darndest things

An update to an earlier post about funny things my daughter has said or done.

-I had shaved my face completely clean for the first time in years, possibly the first time since Emily was born. I asked her if she noticed something different about daddy as I stroked my naked chin. "Your whiskers are missing!" The next morning as I lifted her into momma's truck to go to grandmas for the day (I was off work and in my pj's, just a pair of shorts) she pointed to my underarm and excitedly says, "Daddy! Your whiskers are back!"

-We were at a graduation open house and some kids were hitting whiffle balls off a tee. Emily of course wanted a turn and was doing well. I nervously watched on as other kids swung bats, figuring for sure that Emily was about to get cracked in the head. The little boy of some friends of ours, around 5 years old, came to give her a new ball to hit. "No thanks..." said Emily, "I already have one..." and without warning and before I could react she took a big swing at the ball on the tee, connecting perfectly with the little boys forehead. As the boy held his head and cried he asked, "Why did she do that?"

-Emily had backed into the dry sink in the dinning room, smacking her head in the process. I asked her if she cracked her head. "Nope..." she said, "My heads not cracked..."

Unchain my entertainment!

Well, as most of you know I have been looking at dumping Charter for a while now. It began as a search for a cheaper alternative to their internet and television. I did lots of research only to find that you can't really beat their prices and offerings, well not by much anyway.

Satellite has drawbacks:
1) Two year contract to get the good prices

2) Monthly fee to rent a box per T.V.

3) Don't have the same channels as Charter (not a huge loss, but I like a couple that Charter has and Direct/Dish do not)

4) Hard to compare to cable as it's not really apples to apples

5) The cost savings, if you skimp on the offerings, are not tremendous enough to really outweigh the pain in my opinion. Not to mention the ugly satellite bolted to my house and losing the picture whenever it snows...

There are no other Cable providers in my area (AT&T U-Verse has been "coming soon!" for about five years now, and Comcast is not available). Tell me how that is not a monopoly? So if I want basic cable Charter is the best option.

As for internet, well there really is only one option. AT&T DSL. And it's horrible. They have 3mbps speed on special for $19.95 for 1 year. Sounds great, right? Yeah, well then it goes to like $50 after that. Services like Netflix recommend something like 5mbps or better and Charters is 12mbps. Plus you have to buy a $75 starter kit, and get this: They cap your monthly downloads at 150 gig, with an outrageous overage charge! Their claim is that 90% of their customers will never hit that. Oh yeah? When Netflix starts streaming in HD, I bet I hit that in a week...

That brings me to my next point. Why not get most, if not all my entertainment online? I have a Netflix account. That combined with Hulu and other products, I'm all set right? Sure...as long as you don't like live events like sports (the kind you don't find on network TV for free over the air). Uh, BIG problem for me.

If I call Charter and tell them to cancel my cable I would loose all Pistons games (they don't appear on network television due to the fact that they suck), some UofM games (they are on the Big 10 network sometimes), and almost all Red Wing games (they play on Vs and FSN). Not to mention Monday Night Football!

So I am faced with this dilemma. Stick with Charter and continue to pay them $60 a month for crappy tv so I can see my sports, or use an antenna combined with online viewing of tv shows to replace tv, but loose my sports...

Sigh. No easy choice here. If gas doesn't get closer to $3 a gallon (and even if it does we know it won't stay) I may have no choice!

As for the antenna option, well I think I like it. Very tempting. I need to figure out if I can get my stations with a fixed antenna. Then I can hook it into the main coax feed for the house and viola! Free HD tv to all jacks in the house! Then I can utilize the PC attached to my main tv to watch movies on Netflix, and tv shows on Hulu. It would almost be a direct replacement for Charter. There is a device called a Roku box that I can add to my two other tvs (between $50 and $100 per box). This device connects wireless to my home internet network and provides Hulu, Netflix and more straight to the tv! Now I just have to figure out if my other two tv's are DTV ready (meaning, can they get the free over the air HD from the aforementioned antenna on the roof, or do I need a converter box?) and can I live without sports?

Some have suggested to me that I can just go to the local bar to watch the Pistons. Those who know me can understand that the $60 per month I save from canceling Charter would quickly disappear in bar tabs. Not to mention baby sitters (I want to take my wife with me!).

So, my quest continues. The future of television as we know it is very cloudy (cloudy, that's an I.T. joke...never mind). I think you'll see them embrace the online world as a delivery medium more and more in the coming years. Look for the ability to pick and choose a channel or show at a time to subscribe to! I can't wait. Now if only they can get regional sports live online!

One more thing...when I decided I was stuck with Charter internet no matter what (the wife and I both occasionally work from home, not to mention stream music and movies as well as tv) I bought my own modem. Saving the $5 a mo rental fee was going to stick it to Charter! The day the modem arrived ($50 on Amazon) Charter sent us a notice that they were upping the rental fee to $7! Take that corporate greed! lol

From the mouths of babes

Things that come from the mind of a child are often hilarious. Here are a few I can think of that came from Emily, who recently turned three.

-When being told by her mother that she has a cold just like her sister, Emily replied, "No, I have a cold, but Hailey has a warm..."

-When digging through a bag of tools and parts used to assemble a swing she found various tools like wrenches, nuts, and something else. When I asked her what that round thing was she said, "Its a dryer." I stopped to think for a second, then realized, it was a washer...

-At dinner I had a chili pepper that I did not plan to eat. In the interest of seeing me clean my plate Emily asked what that thing was, and whether or not I was going to eat it. I told her it was a chili pepper, and was too spicy to eat. She crossed her arms around herself and said, "Brrrr". Momentarily confused, I realized she thought I meant that the pepper was cold.

-Emily had been struggling with a cough, sore throat, runny nose type cold. One day she walks up to me and very seriously says, "Daddy, I have a very bad feeling..." Oh no, I said, wondering where this was going. "Yeah, and its right here..." she said, pointing to her sore throat.

-The day we brought Hailey home from the hospital Emily was ablaze with excitement. She whisked through the house and beamed when someone suggested she give her baby sister a tour of the house. Emily looked up at momma, who was holding Hailey, as if to say "Put her down so I can show her around". Then she asks, "Can she walk?" Momma had to explain that Hailey was just a little baby, but if Emily lead the tour momma would take her baby sister around to show her the house.

-In the bathtub one day Emily was happily playing with her toys when all of a sudden she stops, gets a devilish grin on her face, then farts. Bubbles role to the surface and she giggled and proudly exclaimed, "I made bubbles!" Good child, as long as it was just bubbles...

-Emily met me at the door when I arrived home from work one day. "Hello daddy!" She said. "Come on in, come meet my friend mommy!" Thanks, but we've met...

-Some friends of ours visited with their kids. Emily and the other little girl hit it off right away. Poor little Gabe was out numbered and tried to hang with the all girls club with mixed results. After he started to play with Emily's sacred stuffed dog named Buddy, Emily went to Gabe's dad and very seriously asked if they could take Gabe home but leave his sister to play.

-Grandpa had been teaching Emily to catch by telling her to "keep your eye on the ball." She grabbed a ball, cocked her arm back, then said "put my eye on the ball" while literally putting the ball on her eye

-When asked what she thought of her new baby sister Emily thought for a moment, then replied "She cries alot..."

-After we carved a pumpkin I put a candle in it and turned the lights out. I asked Emily if she thought the pumpkin looked scary. She said, "He's not scary..." As if to prove it she followed that with, "...and I'm gonna pet him!"

-One day Em and I were looking through pics and I said, isn't momma pretty? She says "momma is old...and pretty" I promplty fell on the floor laughing

-After changing one of Emily's messy diapers she says to me, "there's poopies in there!" Oh yeah? "Yup. And toots too!"

-Emily was being silly so I said, "you're goofy..." She put her hands on her hips and indignantly replied, "I'm not Goofy! I'm just Emily!"

-We were eating dinner and Emily had Cheetos with her Sloppy Joe. Upon realizing that she was out, and seeing that momma had some on her plate, she turns and sticks her hand out and with attitude says, "Can I get one?"

-Sitting in the living room, Emily long since in bed, when Kristy gets hit with a huge sneeze. Suddenly we hear Emily's sweet little voice over the monitor, "Bless you momma!" Guess the living room is not as far from Em's room as we thought!

-Emily, can you find Humpty Dumpty on this page? *scans the book...''There's Humpt Umpty!''

-After suggesting to Emily that she push the train forward, she promptly replied, ''Fiveward!''

The Joys of Parenthood

I have enjoyed being a father. Sure, most days are filled with crying, defiance, messy pants, and lots of other unsavory things, but you know why that doesn't matter? You come home from work and your little girl squeals with delight, comes running over to give you a big hug and tells you she missed you. In moments like that, you know that without a doubt, it's all worth it. *Wipes a tear and sniffles*

The wife and I are constantly faced with new challenges, successes and barriers to success. United we stand, and so far we have been pretty successful. One such success came lately while the kids were visiting grandparents.

The wife and I took a much needed night out to play trivia at the local watering hole when my phone rings. It was my father-in-law. He said, "just thought you would want to know that your eldest daughter just went poopie on the big girl potty!"

I announced this wonderful news aloud to the whole bar. Our table gave a big cheer and we toasted the great news. Laughter, congratulations, and jubilation filled the night for us.

Funny how life changes, huh? I never would have pictured myself here, even though I always felt I wanted kids and a family. Now I can't picture myself anywhere else.

There was a time when the thought of changing a dirty diaper, or soothing a screaming child would have sent shivers of fear and panic through me. Now, one look into the face of my smiling happy two month old turns me to mush. No amount of screaming or soiled pants can overcome that feeling.

We continue to be blessed people. I have a great life.

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