Random thoughts

So, I realize I have not posted to this blog in quite some time. Some of you may have suspected that I have become seriously ill, or worse. However, the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Having said that, I have no particular subject to rant about today, so here goes more of my infamous stream of consciousness rambling (read the title of this blog, not surprising, right?).

I am misunderstood...

I suspect all of us feel this way from time to time. You say something, and you get a totally surprising reaction. You think, what went wrong? How could I have been so misunderstood? This has happened to me more often than I care to admit lately, and it is a disturbing trend.

I have recently been called conceited, self righteous, cocky, and verbose (this last complaint usually lodged as "you use big words too much"). Some of these sting. Some are pretty accurate. Some are right on. I wonder though, how I can be so misunderstood?

I don't feel conceited. I can't imagine anyone would openly admit to being so. It's not a good thing, and if I ever felt conceited I would quickly change things around. So what is it that I am doing that causes this perception? Some have tried to explain that I am confident, and that sometimes can come off as conceited.

So, I have lately fretted endlessly about what I say and how I act. I am constantly in my own head trying to filter myself to prevent people from taking things the wrong way. This leads me to a maddening second guessing of myself with every move, and I have decided to say screw it! I am me, take it or leave it, as my wife always says. I hope that those who truly know me would understand that I am not cocky, I don't feel superior to those around me (ironically, it is usually the exact opposite) and I am not intentionally trying to sound smarter than my audience.

That leads us to the verbose problem. I have a fascination with words (see my reference to a Haberdashery early in this blogs infancy). Yes, maybe I am guilty of having a word of the day application on my home page, maybe I do read complicated books, maybe I do use words in my daily language that don't appear in the everyday mans' common vernacular (oooops, did it again). So what. It's not on purpose. I'm not trying to insult you by purposely using words that are over your head. I just enjoy communicating (your honor, the defense submits as exhibit A, this blog).

I use words that tickle my fancy. Words that I have heard, or read, or been fond of for some reason or another. Words that help me, at least in my mind, make my message clearer and more concise. For example, some say things like the apple don't fall far from the tree. I might say that the rosy fruit with seeded womb has succumb to the effects of newtons law, coming to rest not far from whence it came. Ok, maybe not, but I think you get my point. I just like to have fun with it.

There, how's that for a rant? Did I persuade you that I am indeed humble and not conceited, or did I make it worse? Oh well. As Theodor Seuss Geisel (A.K.A. Dr. Seuss) once said, ''those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

I hope the new year finds you happy and healthy!

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/