Yesterday at the Lions game at Ford Field, I put on a clinic: How not to drink alcohol 101. Between the Bloody Mary's (of which I had never before partook) and the beer, oh and lets not forget the Captain Morgan, I had a bit too much.Well, "a bit" would be an understatement. We began the day by tailgating outside in a parking lot. I was offered my first ever Bloody Mary, and I enjoyed it. When the cup was empty (and we're talking a full to the brim 'solo' cup) I was offered a Bud Light. Never one to turn down free drinks, I complied happily.
Just as we were about to leave for the game, the host pleaded for everyone to help finish off the remaining Bloody Mary mix. Again, I was all too happy to comply. Luckily this second drink was shared with my father, who coincidentally had a run in of his own with this same drink at last years game. But as we were about to leave I decided to chug the rest of my Bud Light, oh and the rest of my wife's Bud Light. Necessary? Of course it was! Can't leave it behind, right?
When we arrived at the suite I opened the fridge to be greeted by copious amounts of alcohol. This may have been fine had I stuck to one or the other, but I again decided to partake in Bud Light (no idea how many), only to switch to Captain Morgan. Could I have mixed a small amount in my cup and savored it slowly? Of course, but where is the fun in that? I had what amounted to approximately (and I am approximating, because from that point on the rest of the day was a bit hazy) four shots worth of Captain in two drinks that did not sit out long enough to get warm.
By the time I realized what this all was going to cost me, it was too late. I hid the unopened fifth of Captain under my shirt, and off we went. A few minutes into the car ride home (thankfully my father had the sense to switch to diet pop and guide us home safely) I went from laughing to....uh, oh.
Kristy looked back and noticed the change in my demeanor, and as she recalled later the "look" on my face. She had dad pull over as I opened my door and re-enjoyed the flavor of Bloody Mary, spicy chicken wings, chili dogs, beer and Captain Morgan. Not a good thing.
I then apparently used my cell to login to my Facebook account and leave the following status:
"Randy is mad that capt. n Morgan n the Tampampa Bay Bucaneersrs ruined his Sun aft. noon, but thankfull his wife could drive his drunk a@# hm frm the game!"
(Notice the spelling of Tampa and Buccaneers. Also, capt. n Morgan...lol)
This was followed by several drunk dials to the poor people in my phone book, one of which was in bed getting ready for a 4 AM start to his Monday work day. When I get drunk, please take my phone from me! I was shushing people, and telling them "I think I am in trouble. Kristy is going to be mad! Shhhhhhhh!"
The game was a blast, but I can't believe I did that to myself. I also feel bad that I became a burden on the rest of the group, and I thank my father and wife for getting me home (though I don't remember it).
So, let this serve as a cautionary tale. Never mix, and know your limits! If you don't drink liquor very often, you might want to stay away from it! Just say no! As for me, I am never drinking again! Till next time...
P.S.
Sorry if that was too graphic!
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