Something to believe in. We all need it. Hope, faith, a reason to believe that brighter days are on the horizon. As I watched the 44th president of the United States swear his oath of office, people around me openly wept. I was moved as well, but not by the fact that he was the first African-American president, rather because it seems he is a man of integrity in a time where values have been lost.
We so desperately need people of character to lead us. Seems like every time you read the news some jerk just ran a company into the ground, all while taking a multi-million dollar golden parachute to safety. If it's not that, it's another senator/governor who (insert your favorite confidence deflating scum bag move here) and shakes our already weakened confidence in our elected officials. I prefer "pulling a Blagojevich" which means you abuse power and attempt to profit from filing a position normally elected by the people, all while telling the country you are a man of integrity who wants to bring respect back to your office and state.
I define character as what a person does when no one is there to see it. Choices a person makes on a daily basis. It is found in the way you treat others, both the powerful and the powerless. Many things shape a persons character, and many people have impacted my character throughout my life. One powerful influence on me early on was my grandmother. She always had a unique way of thinking about things. Not only could she do the cool things in life like teach you how use a fork to make the crisscross lines in a peanut butter cookie, but she had a knack for helping you see the best in people.
I remember when I was in elementary school and I was having trouble with a bully. Walking home he had decided for no good reason to take out his anger on someone, and I was apparently his closest target. Later as I visited my grandparents I was sulking and must have complained about that 'no good kid' who lived across the street. My grandmother had a different take. The conversation went something like this:
"Surely you can't say there is no good in him at all, can you?" she replied.
"Grandma, this boy is nothing but pure evil. There is not a single thing good about him. I wish he were never born!"
"It may be hard for you to see now, but there is good in all of us. No matter what that bully has done to you, or how much you dislike him, there are things about him you just understand."
And with that, she put in front of me a piece of paper and a pencil (my grandmother always wrote in pencil, on yellow legal pads, in perfect cursive. No one does that anymore...so sad.)
"Now, sit here and write out 10 positive things about that bully." She said.
I remember thinking there was no way was I going to come up with one good thing to say about this scum, let alone ten!
I made my way through the list, and while I didn't become best friends with him, I did start to see him in a different light. It was a small thing, but it had a big impact. Little did I know that my grandmother had just planted a seed that would blossom into a powerful life skill that I remember all these years later. I can recall one specific time in my life more recently when my ability to see good in others came in handy.
I was a Resident Advisor in the halls at WMU, and I did not particularly care for one of my fellow R.A.'s. He was not doing a very good job in my opinion, and I readily told him and others just that. Our hall director got wind of this rift between us and had a team building session. Guess what he asked us to do? Yup, list ten good qualities about the other person. I easily breezed through my list (you know, I have done this before) and when I was finished I began to see the other R.A. in a whole new light.
While I still disagreed with some of the things he was doing (or not doing), I noticed that he had some redeeming qualities that I admired. He was quiet and reserved (anyone who knows me well can see why I may not have understood this personality trait at first), but he was well respected by his residents. He earned their respect. We soon became friends and worked well together for the rest of the term. He found me on Facebook just the other day, and he is doing well in life.
What does it all mean? I don't know, I guess I can sometimes be a bit of a Pollyanna, always seeing the good and bright side. I am definitely a glass half full kind of person (or if I were an engineer I would say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be). It is dangerous to not be aware of others deficiencies or shortcomings, and none of this is going to bring about world peace, but I can't help but think that this world could be a better place to live if everyone had met my grandmother. If we take the time to truly understand each other, and see the good in all of us, who knows what we could accomplish?
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