So today has been "one of those days" for me. I love that phrase because everyone just read that and went, "Ahh, I know exactly what you mean. I am having 'one of those days' myself" even though you can't possibly know what I mean. But I digress...I woke this morning with a lovely chest cold to kick off the day. Then the dark clouds rolled in as I fed the dog and got myself ready for work. After Joe Namath’ing through the morning (This is a term I now use in place of the word 'struggling'. For clarification see the video of Joe Namath drunk on the sidelines of a Jet's game, trying to make out with sideline reporter Suzie Kolber, and struggling to pronounce the word 'struggling'. The video can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc65NC44dSk) I decided to hit the pharmacy for some cold meds.
I ventured to the parking lot with my cheap WMU logo umbrella and started toward my car through a down poor. As I opened Old Faithful, the nickname given my trusty umbrella of several years, I was greeted with a dreadful sound. SPROING! My shield from Mother Nature virtually exploded, and I was left holding the shaft in one hand and the umbrella in the other while springs and pieces clanked to the ground. Not what I needed right then.
I went to the local haberdashery to procure myself a replacement for Old Faithful, and I found the beautiful model pictured above. This baby has a graphite shaft, a two layered canopy for precipitation protection, an ergonomic grip, AM/FM tuner, GPS, espresso maker and it glows in the dark. Ok, so I embellished some of that, but compared to my broken down poor excuse for an umbrella now lying in pieces on the cold dark pavement, this thing was awesome!
I knew I had picked the correct umbrella the first time I opened it after leaving the store. I was a bit perplexed at first when I pushed the blinking red button to deploy the canopy and nothing happened. Then I realized I had forgotten to release the second, yes second strap holding the thing together. After remedying this, I held on tight and braced myself for the show.
FffffwwwwhaaaaBuuuuush!!!!!!! (Read: overly dramatic sound of an umbrella opening in slow motion. I think that is how you spell that sound, although it is not listed in Merriam-Webster. Useless). This thing is awesome. I have to admit I may be easily impressed as Old Faithful was purchased for a specific need, that being I was a broke college student who needed something that was cheap and would fit in my book bag. My new umbrella seems so huge by comparison. I almost felt compelled to use it to shuttle poor umbrella-less saps to their vehicles, or find a small family to gather under my new mobile shelter.
So, my new umbrella should last me a while. If not, it is covered by a very comprehensive bumper to bumper warranty. 10 years or 100k miles, whichever comes first. I hope that my experience has helped you in your quest to find shelter against the storm.
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2 comments:
Sure wish I had a job were I could take time to post my thoughts. Some of us poor folks, have to really work at our jobs, and do not have the time to look at umbrella purchasing.
With that said, I think you should, from time to time, check your umbrella. We check the oil in the car, don't we? This inspection may have saved you. One other thing. Why is it, that you never have your umbrella when you need it? Sunny day, when I enter work, no need to carry the rain protector. Then a down pour. Where is my trusted friend. IN MY CAR!!!!! A lot of good that does me. Stars at night, no need to bring it in. Next morning, Rain,and again, the umbrella is in the car. Yes I could purchase several and leave them in different locations. We have the pocket fisherman, mini sewing machining. Some one should invent the wallet umbrella.
Yup, never fails. I park and walk to my desk in the morning with the sun shining, but when I go to walk to lunch it is pouring!
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