So today has been "one of those days" for me. I love that phrase because everyone just read that and went, "Ahh, I know exactly what you mean. I am having 'one of those days' myself" even though you can't possibly know what I mean. But I digress...I woke this morning with a lovely chest cold to kick off the day. Then the dark clouds rolled in as I fed the dog and got myself ready for work. After Joe Namath’ing through the morning (This is a term I now use in place of the word 'struggling'. For clarification see the video of Joe Namath drunk on the sidelines of a Jet's game, trying to make out with sideline reporter Suzie Kolber, and struggling to pronounce the word 'struggling'. The video can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc65NC44dSk) I decided to hit the pharmacy for some cold meds.
I ventured to the parking lot with my cheap WMU logo umbrella and started toward my car through a down poor. As I opened Old Faithful, the nickname given my trusty umbrella of several years, I was greeted with a dreadful sound. SPROING! My shield from Mother Nature virtually exploded, and I was left holding the shaft in one hand and the umbrella in the other while springs and pieces clanked to the ground. Not what I needed right then.
I went to the local haberdashery to procure myself a replacement for Old Faithful, and I found the beautiful model pictured above. This baby has a graphite shaft, a two layered canopy for precipitation protection, an ergonomic grip, AM/FM tuner, GPS, espresso maker and it glows in the dark. Ok, so I embellished some of that, but compared to my broken down poor excuse for an umbrella now lying in pieces on the cold dark pavement, this thing was awesome!
I knew I had picked the correct umbrella the first time I opened it after leaving the store. I was a bit perplexed at first when I pushed the blinking red button to deploy the canopy and nothing happened. Then I realized I had forgotten to release the second, yes second strap holding the thing together. After remedying this, I held on tight and braced myself for the show.
FffffwwwwhaaaaBuuuuush!!!!!!! (Read: overly dramatic sound of an umbrella opening in slow motion. I think that is how you spell that sound, although it is not listed in Merriam-Webster. Useless). This thing is awesome. I have to admit I may be easily impressed as Old Faithful was purchased for a specific need, that being I was a broke college student who needed something that was cheap and would fit in my book bag. My new umbrella seems so huge by comparison. I almost felt compelled to use it to shuttle poor umbrella-less saps to their vehicles, or find a small family to gather under my new mobile shelter.
So, my new umbrella should last me a while. If not, it is covered by a very comprehensive bumper to bumper warranty. 10 years or 100k miles, whichever comes first. I hope that my experience has helped you in your quest to find shelter against the storm.
Posts
