Raising kids without loosing sight of where it all began

Before we had children my wife and I thought of our marriage as strong, if not the strongest one we knew of. We watched as friends and family entered and exited matrimony with shouting, petty squabbling, and an absence of the strong bond and commitment that we seem to have. Nothing could end that feeling for us, right? We have such a strong bond that nothing could ever strain us. Not even...becoming parents. Right?

It was a fast and fun time in our lives. We had the world in the palm of our hands. No worries. Want to go out for drinks? Lets go! Want to take a spur of the moment trip to the family cabin? Sure! We didn't have money to burn, but we had enough to entertain ourselves without too much worry. Nothing in our lives prevented us from seeing each other, spending time together, dedicating all of our waking hours of free time together, or spending our free time sleeping in. How could we have known just how different our lives would become in a few short years?

I can recall the conversations we had as we began planning our family. “Just because we have kids, doesn't mean we can't still go out and have fun” we would say. “We're not going to be one of those couples who instantly seems old after they have kids...” we would say. Sure, we knew things would change a little. The obvious things were there, but we (well at least I) had no idea about the subtle changes.

Fast forward almost five years and two kids later, and we still have a strong marriage. Still one of the strongest I have ever known. We just didn't get here the way I thought we would. You see, not only do we have less time and money, but we have less energy and our desires have changed. When you do finally have some free time, really all you can think about is vegging out in front of the tube, or even just going to bed. Suddenly, Friday night is just another weeknight for us (remember, someone will be getting up at sunrise Saturday to make breakfast, change diapers, and watch the Disney channel. Don't try that with a hangover).

So how then do you keep the fire alive in your marriage? It comes down to small things. Effort. Focus. Dedication. You may have had an easy time before kids finding ways to show your spouse how much they mean to you. Now, you have to dig deep and reserve energy for them. Find a moment in between cleaning vomit and calming a crying child to compliment your significant other on something. Plan an adult outing in advance, but learn that going to a club to drink through the wee hours is probably not an option or even all that appealing anymore.

In my opinion we have altered how we get there, but we still have the same amount of passion in our marriage. It's different now, but somehow still the same. We traded bar night for movie night. Spur of the moment outings with friends for board games and good conversations. Yet we still make it out once in a while to a ball game, a bar, or an outing with friends. It's just that we usually find ourselves going to dinner and drinks that still get us home and in bed before midnight. Things shifted, but didn't dry up.

The takeaway from this I suppose is that you can't lose sight of who you were before you had kids. You will evolve, there will be changes, but fight hard to make sure your spouse still comes first once in a while. Schedule date nights and carry forward that intense love and commitment that lead you to this blissful life you have. Take care of one another and keep the fire burning. Just maybe not so late into the night...

I won't stand for this...

Recently I have switched to a standing desk at work. There was a betting pool started on how long before I would give up and switch back, but I do believe I have already beat the over/under of two weeks.

A while back some people I know started standing desks. There are lots of studies and documentation on the health benefits, you can google for yourself if interested. I have long been concerned about the effect of sitting as much as I do. So, I grabbed one of the wooden desks we use for patron walk up catalog terminals, moved my old desk into storage (just in case I needed it back!) and jumped in.

Lots of curious onlookers have stopped by my desk to ask, "so...how do you like it?" Well, here in a nut-shell (why would anyone put something in a nut-shell anyway?) is my take on the first few weeks of a standing desk:

The Good:

-I don't feel the aches and pains I had from 8 hours a day in a chair. My legs feel less cramped, my shoulders don't ache, and so on.

-I find that standing has caused me to interact with people in the office more. Since I am already up it is easier to move about the office and talk to people instead of lazily firing off an email to someone who is ten feet away. Count that a plus for me, and a minus for the poor saps in my office...

-I can focus more. Distractions are easier to ignore since I feel like I have to complete a task and move on to something else before my feet begin to hurt from standing in one place too long.

-I'm not sure I have experienced any health benefits. Might be too early to give a verdict on that. I have however managed to change the aches and pains, so maybe after some time they may all clear up? Maybe...

The Bad:

-New aches and pains. My feet hurt since I am not used to standing so much. When I worked retail, 10 plus hours a day on my feet was a cake walk. Since I have not done that in seven plus years, I assume I just need to rebuild muscles and strength needed for standing.

-Long tasks require sitting still. If I am involved in something complex and time consuming I need to sit at times. I battle that by having a sitting desk right behind me for breaks and complex work.

-I work in a fishbowl. I have no office door, matter of fact I even share my cubicle with students since we are out of space. Lots of people like to come talk to me about my desk. For me it's not much of a bother since I am social and like to share my experiences anyway, but I don't think I would count this in the "good" column. I did have to make up my mind on whether I wanted to deal with "standing out" in my office. Yeah, I went there...

-Collaboration with office mates can be difficult for them since they have to stand when at my desk. Not my problem really, but something that should be condisdered if you are thinking about trying this.

To recap:
This is not for everyone. Comfy shoes are a must. Give yourself the option to sit, not sure I would stick with this if I couldn't. Be prepared to explain/defend. Save your old desk so you can go back. No shame in trying something only to find out it's not for you. Give it a try! What have you got to lose?

For consideration:
If you have a cheap or free option like I was lucky enough to, just give it a try. No investment. Buying a standing desk is a financial commitment you have to weigh. Not sure where I stand on that...eh, ehem. Well, you get the point.

Make sure you follow good ergonomic guides and put the keyboard/monitors at the correct height to prevent undue strain. Have fun, and I would love to hear from you if you try it, are thinking of trying, or are already standing!

Paterno: Sad and tragic ending, all the way around

***If you have a squeamish stomach and do not want to read about controversy or child abuse, please do not read this article...You have been warned!***



Joe Paterno passed away this week. Some say he died of a broken heart. While I am sad for the Paterno family's loss, I'm pretty sure lung cancer is what got him, which would have happened even if he was never fired.

For those of you living under a rock, here is a recap of what happened over the last few months.
Mike McQueary, (a former player,then assistant coach and grown man), witnessed Jerry Sandusky, (former Defensive coach and then member of a youth outreach program), rape a 10 year old boy in the shower of the Penn State football facility.

McQueary has made several different statements about his actions following this incident, ranging from doing nothing and leaving to physically separating them and leaving. Any way you slice it, not much there to cheer about. Me? I would have beat Sandusky to a bloody pulp, or at least called the police. But that is another matter.

This action was then reported to Paterno the next day. Joe Pa, as he is affectionately known, has also given several accounts of what happened next, anything from reporting "something funny" happened to "maybe a little inappropriate tickling". Who did he report to? The police on campus? The state police? A detective? A prosecutor? Sandusky himself? Nope. The president and athletic director...Hmmm...Protecting a football program? I think so.

So they certainly took appropriate action, right? Nope. Not once was an investigation conducted. No law enforcement called. Not even a ban of Sandusky from the building. Now here is where I start to really get mad.

This incident. The one witnessed by a credible grown man. It was reported to Joe Pa in 2002. TEN YEARS AGO. Sandusky had free reign of this facility and the youth outreach program called Second Mile the whole time. Joe knew this. He knew no action was taken. Then he defended that by saying he was "...hesitant to make follow-up calls because I did not want to be seen as trying to exert any influence for or against Sandusky. I didn't know which way to go, and rather than get in there and make a mistake . . ."

Joe Paterno, a man of high regard. A man with decades on the record of "doing things the right way", was hesitant to get involved on behalf of a raped ten year old boy. Seriously? Get in there, throw your weight around and make sure something is done. No ambiguity, no grey area, no tough call. There is only one clear path forward. The cost of going forward is high, but the cost of not going forward is life changing. I refuse to believe this mighty man, the moral compass of a community and even a nation, had a hard time figuring that out. Only one conclusion can be drawn from this. Paterno did nothing for fear his football legacy would be tarnished.

Now the apologists are saying he got a raw deal. You have to forgive the man of one small mistake and not let that over shadow his decades of good work. To this I say, how can you call it ONE mistake? How can you call it a SMALL mistake? He had ten years to step up and do the right thing. He chose not to, and who knows how many more boys suffered the same fate.

Yes I understand that any one of the people in this story, starting with McQueary, should have stood up and shouted. Joe did not witness this himself which is probably the one thing that saves any grace for him. Yet I can't help but get sick when I hear Joe Pa apologists shout "Look at all the good he did", or "Look how many lives he touched". I can't help but think of the lives he should have touched and didn't.

Everyone deserves forgiveness. We are all human and we all make mistakes. I don't wish to vilify Paterno and suggest that the body of his work is now worthless. What I do wish to point out is simply this. Before you suggest him for sainthood don't forget, the most powerful man in college football history, the most influential man in Penn State, the one who is famous for 'doing things the right way', stood by and did nothing in the most crucial hour. That I will never forget.

God bless the victims and their families. Football is just a game...

Kids say the darndest things

An update to an earlier post about funny things my daughter has said or done.

-I had shaved my face completely clean for the first time in years, possibly the first time since Emily was born. I asked her if she noticed something different about daddy as I stroked my naked chin. "Your whiskers are missing!" The next morning as I lifted her into momma's truck to go to grandmas for the day (I was off work and in my pj's, just a pair of shorts) she pointed to my underarm and excitedly says, "Daddy! Your whiskers are back!"

-We were at a graduation open house and some kids were hitting whiffle balls off a tee. Emily of course wanted a turn and was doing well. I nervously watched on as other kids swung bats, figuring for sure that Emily was about to get cracked in the head. The little boy of some friends of ours, around 5 years old, came to give her a new ball to hit. "No thanks..." said Emily, "I already have one..." and without warning and before I could react she took a big swing at the ball on the tee, connecting perfectly with the little boys forehead. As the boy held his head and cried he asked, "Why did she do that?"

-Emily had backed into the dry sink in the dinning room, smacking her head in the process. I asked her if she cracked her head. "Nope..." she said, "My heads not cracked..."

Unchain my entertainment!

Well, as most of you know I have been looking at dumping Charter for a while now. It began as a search for a cheaper alternative to their internet and television. I did lots of research only to find that you can't really beat their prices and offerings, well not by much anyway.

Satellite has drawbacks:
1) Two year contract to get the good prices

2) Monthly fee to rent a box per T.V.

3) Don't have the same channels as Charter (not a huge loss, but I like a couple that Charter has and Direct/Dish do not)

4) Hard to compare to cable as it's not really apples to apples

5) The cost savings, if you skimp on the offerings, are not tremendous enough to really outweigh the pain in my opinion. Not to mention the ugly satellite bolted to my house and losing the picture whenever it snows...

There are no other Cable providers in my area (AT&T U-Verse has been "coming soon!" for about five years now, and Comcast is not available). Tell me how that is not a monopoly? So if I want basic cable Charter is the best option.

As for internet, well there really is only one option. AT&T DSL. And it's horrible. They have 3mbps speed on special for $19.95 for 1 year. Sounds great, right? Yeah, well then it goes to like $50 after that. Services like Netflix recommend something like 5mbps or better and Charters is 12mbps. Plus you have to buy a $75 starter kit, and get this: They cap your monthly downloads at 150 gig, with an outrageous overage charge! Their claim is that 90% of their customers will never hit that. Oh yeah? When Netflix starts streaming in HD, I bet I hit that in a week...

That brings me to my next point. Why not get most, if not all my entertainment online? I have a Netflix account. That combined with Hulu and other products, I'm all set right? Sure...as long as you don't like live events like sports (the kind you don't find on network TV for free over the air). Uh, BIG problem for me.

If I call Charter and tell them to cancel my cable I would loose all Pistons games (they don't appear on network television due to the fact that they suck), some UofM games (they are on the Big 10 network sometimes), and almost all Red Wing games (they play on Vs and FSN). Not to mention Monday Night Football!

So I am faced with this dilemma. Stick with Charter and continue to pay them $60 a month for crappy tv so I can see my sports, or use an antenna combined with online viewing of tv shows to replace tv, but loose my sports...

Sigh. No easy choice here. If gas doesn't get closer to $3 a gallon (and even if it does we know it won't stay) I may have no choice!

As for the antenna option, well I think I like it. Very tempting. I need to figure out if I can get my stations with a fixed antenna. Then I can hook it into the main coax feed for the house and viola! Free HD tv to all jacks in the house! Then I can utilize the PC attached to my main tv to watch movies on Netflix, and tv shows on Hulu. It would almost be a direct replacement for Charter. There is a device called a Roku box that I can add to my two other tvs (between $50 and $100 per box). This device connects wireless to my home internet network and provides Hulu, Netflix and more straight to the tv! Now I just have to figure out if my other two tv's are DTV ready (meaning, can they get the free over the air HD from the aforementioned antenna on the roof, or do I need a converter box?) and can I live without sports?

Some have suggested to me that I can just go to the local bar to watch the Pistons. Those who know me can understand that the $60 per month I save from canceling Charter would quickly disappear in bar tabs. Not to mention baby sitters (I want to take my wife with me!).

So, my quest continues. The future of television as we know it is very cloudy (cloudy, that's an I.T. joke...never mind). I think you'll see them embrace the online world as a delivery medium more and more in the coming years. Look for the ability to pick and choose a channel or show at a time to subscribe to! I can't wait. Now if only they can get regional sports live online!

One more thing...when I decided I was stuck with Charter internet no matter what (the wife and I both occasionally work from home, not to mention stream music and movies as well as tv) I bought my own modem. Saving the $5 a mo rental fee was going to stick it to Charter! The day the modem arrived ($50 on Amazon) Charter sent us a notice that they were upping the rental fee to $7! Take that corporate greed! lol

From the mouths of babes

Things that come from the mind of a child are often hilarious. Here are a few I can think of that came from Emily, who recently turned three.

-When being told by her mother that she has a cold just like her sister, Emily replied, "No, I have a cold, but Hailey has a warm..."

-When digging through a bag of tools and parts used to assemble a swing she found various tools like wrenches, nuts, and something else. When I asked her what that round thing was she said, "Its a dryer." I stopped to think for a second, then realized, it was a washer...

-At dinner I had a chili pepper that I did not plan to eat. In the interest of seeing me clean my plate Emily asked what that thing was, and whether or not I was going to eat it. I told her it was a chili pepper, and was too spicy to eat. She crossed her arms around herself and said, "Brrrr". Momentarily confused, I realized she thought I meant that the pepper was cold.

-Emily had been struggling with a cough, sore throat, runny nose type cold. One day she walks up to me and very seriously says, "Daddy, I have a very bad feeling..." Oh no, I said, wondering where this was going. "Yeah, and its right here..." she said, pointing to her sore throat.

-The day we brought Hailey home from the hospital Emily was ablaze with excitement. She whisked through the house and beamed when someone suggested she give her baby sister a tour of the house. Emily looked up at momma, who was holding Hailey, as if to say "Put her down so I can show her around". Then she asks, "Can she walk?" Momma had to explain that Hailey was just a little baby, but if Emily lead the tour momma would take her baby sister around to show her the house.

-In the bathtub one day Emily was happily playing with her toys when all of a sudden she stops, gets a devilish grin on her face, then farts. Bubbles role to the surface and she giggled and proudly exclaimed, "I made bubbles!" Good child, as long as it was just bubbles...

-Emily met me at the door when I arrived home from work one day. "Hello daddy!" She said. "Come on in, come meet my friend mommy!" Thanks, but we've met...

-Some friends of ours visited with their kids. Emily and the other little girl hit it off right away. Poor little Gabe was out numbered and tried to hang with the all girls club with mixed results. After he started to play with Emily's sacred stuffed dog named Buddy, Emily went to Gabe's dad and very seriously asked if they could take Gabe home but leave his sister to play.

-Grandpa had been teaching Emily to catch by telling her to "keep your eye on the ball." She grabbed a ball, cocked her arm back, then said "put my eye on the ball" while literally putting the ball on her eye

-When asked what she thought of her new baby sister Emily thought for a moment, then replied "She cries alot..."

-After we carved a pumpkin I put a candle in it and turned the lights out. I asked Emily if she thought the pumpkin looked scary. She said, "He's not scary..." As if to prove it she followed that with, "...and I'm gonna pet him!"

-One day Em and I were looking through pics and I said, isn't momma pretty? She says "momma is old...and pretty" I promplty fell on the floor laughing

-After changing one of Emily's messy diapers she says to me, "there's poopies in there!" Oh yeah? "Yup. And toots too!"

-Emily was being silly so I said, "you're goofy..." She put her hands on her hips and indignantly replied, "I'm not Goofy! I'm just Emily!"

-We were eating dinner and Emily had Cheetos with her Sloppy Joe. Upon realizing that she was out, and seeing that momma had some on her plate, she turns and sticks her hand out and with attitude says, "Can I get one?"

-Sitting in the living room, Emily long since in bed, when Kristy gets hit with a huge sneeze. Suddenly we hear Emily's sweet little voice over the monitor, "Bless you momma!" Guess the living room is not as far from Em's room as we thought!

-Emily, can you find Humpty Dumpty on this page? *scans the book...''There's Humpt Umpty!''

-After suggesting to Emily that she push the train forward, she promptly replied, ''Fiveward!''

The Joys of Parenthood

I have enjoyed being a father. Sure, most days are filled with crying, defiance, messy pants, and lots of other unsavory things, but you know why that doesn't matter? You come home from work and your little girl squeals with delight, comes running over to give you a big hug and tells you she missed you. In moments like that, you know that without a doubt, it's all worth it. *Wipes a tear and sniffles*

The wife and I are constantly faced with new challenges, successes and barriers to success. United we stand, and so far we have been pretty successful. One such success came lately while the kids were visiting grandparents.

The wife and I took a much needed night out to play trivia at the local watering hole when my phone rings. It was my father-in-law. He said, "just thought you would want to know that your eldest daughter just went poopie on the big girl potty!"

I announced this wonderful news aloud to the whole bar. Our table gave a big cheer and we toasted the great news. Laughter, congratulations, and jubilation filled the night for us.

Funny how life changes, huh? I never would have pictured myself here, even though I always felt I wanted kids and a family. Now I can't picture myself anywhere else.

There was a time when the thought of changing a dirty diaper, or soothing a screaming child would have sent shivers of fear and panic through me. Now, one look into the face of my smiling happy two month old turns me to mush. No amount of screaming or soiled pants can overcome that feeling.

We continue to be blessed people. I have a great life.

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

Chasing Rainbows

I'm always chasing rainbows. Then, when I catch one, I spot the next rainbow on the horizon. How beautiful! Off I go running again, cursing every step that remains between me and my next rainbow. Having arrived at this rainbow I instantly spot the next one. Oh how I wish I were already at that next rainbow!

What is my favorite season? Winter I suppose. I love the white wash of freshly fallen snow. I love the bite of cold on my nose. I love to zip down the trails on a snowmobile. But soon enough I long for spring. I wish for the coming of warmth. Flowers. Rain.

Spring arrives like clockwork every year. Gorgeous, renewing, reviving spring. The world awakens from its slumber. Color permeates the landscape and I breath the bouquet of fresh smells. Ahhh, this is living. Yet, it is not quite warm enough. Not dry enough. I am sick of mud. I want summer! Bring on the beach!

As it always does, summer arrives. Heat. Sunshine. Fresh cut grass. Outdoor living. We camp, we go to the lake, we grill food. Have I arrived in my favorite season? I miss football. I miss the cold. I miss Fall. Where oh where are my stunning tapestry of golds, reds, oranges, and yellows in the trees? Why can't I have a bit of cool breeze? Where is Fall?

Yes, Fall arrives on time as well. Now, maybe now, I am in my favorite season. Yes, now I can relax and enjoy life! Football has returned. We rake leaves, we eat donughts and drink apple cider! Pumpkins! Halloween! Glorious fall is here. Then again...Man, sure would be nice to ride a snowmobile. Where is winter? I am never satisfied.

My favorite season is whatever season is next...

Bring on Fall!

What do you do when you arrive at a rainbow? Do you sit back and bask in its glory, or do you dash off in search of the next one?

Did you bring the beer?

Sunburns and hangovers. I don't like them, but I seem to end up with them all the time. We had a great weekend up north, and I managed to avoid the latter, but not the former.

We went to our family cabin outside of Kalkaska for a fun weekend of fresh air, sunshine, good food and family bonding. We got all that and then some. The "kids", that being my family and my brothers family (pets included) came up Thursday night. We made a trip to the farmers market and got lots of great fresh Michigan fruits and veggies. Had a delish cookout and munched on fruit salad.

Saturday we took mom and dad to a place my brother and his wife knew of up the Manistee river. For $10 per person they drive you up river, give you a tube and send you floating down river back to the dock.

We packed our cooler with lunch and drinks and began our journey early in the afternoon. It was a fantastic relaxing ride through some beautiful scenery. Cool, but not too cold water that was over my head deep in some places, and only a few inches in others.

We drank, laughed, relaxed and had a blast. Half way back we stopped and pulled off to the side to eat our lunch. Shared some jokes with a group that was behind us, and shoved off again. The weather was gorgeous and I was soaking up the sun (more on that later).

I was feeling pretty good when we were about ten minutes from the dock, but we were now out of beer. Just then I heard what sounded like a walkie talkie radio off in the distance. We were now floating past a camp ground and I assumed it was some campers messing around on shore.

I shouted to our group that we should be careful as the cops were after us. This was met with much amusement and prompted another member of our group to yell something profane about law enforcement. The camper shouted back at us, furthering my suspicion that it was not actually a cop. I guess he was insulted. Then he yelled, "I will meet you at the dock with a ticket!".

Again, still feeling I was conversing with some random tourist, whom I had yet to physically lay eyes on, I shouted back, "Oh yeah? Well, bring some beer, cause we're out!". Thats when I noticed my mothers face go white and the rest of the group got all quiet. They all had just saw what I was not able to spot. A Kalkaska County Sheriff standing just off the bank of the river, red faced and mad as ever.

Sure enough, when we pulled up he was waiting for us. He motioned to my brother to step to the vehicle, and we all prepared to go bail him out of jail. The cop was hot, and he was right in his face, pointing his finger. We stood by and listened as he gave lectures on the virtues of respect and orderly conduct, especially when addressing an officer of the law.

Now I admit, what we said was stupid in retrospect, but we meant no harm. We were just excited and having a good time. We got a little cocky sure, but nothing I felt to really get us in trouble. Nothing to warrant the way this guy handled us.

The finger in the face was an intimidation move, I don't like it, but I get it. He was clearly trying to provoke my brother. When that didn't work, he started to insult him. "Weren't you raised better than that? Your momma should smack you!" Now he was baiting my mother, and I stepped in between her and the officer. Then the coup de gra, "Your mother should be ashamed of you!" To which my bother replied without missing a beat, "Im sure she is sir". This made the cop even more frustrated, and after running my brothers info (we could hear over the speaker, "No wants, No Warrants, No Record") he reluctantly released us all while muttering some more of his high and mighty moral advice.

I was shocked! Never would I have thought we would escape all that without so much as a verbal "warning" or written citation for something. It was as though my brother had used some Jedi mind trick on the guy. *waves his hand* "These are not the drunks you are looking for", "They can go about their business", "Move along".

We jumped in the truck and howled with laughter all the way home. What a day. I had a glass or two of my Oberon keg that my parents brought me, but other than that we just grilled food and enjoyed our family's company for the rest of the night. My wife rolled her eyes and was not impressed with the story of our almost arrest, but I think in the end she saw the humor in it. Maybe.

As for the sunburn, well, it could have been worse. Those who know me already are aware that an hour of sun for me is the same as crossing the Sahara, brutal and painful. My thoughtful wife snagged me before I left and helped put SPF 50 (from the same tube we use for my two year old mind you) on my back. I added some to my legs and front, but for unexplained reasons missed my arms. They were burned so crispy by the time we got back you would swear I had stood on the surface of the sun! Ouch!

Good times. We learned a lesson. Pack more beer and or assume you are talking to a cop at all times! Can't wait to do it again!

Good news! It's not contagious!

There was an article posted on Mlive.com today that sort of sent me on a tangent. Maybe I come on a little strong, but I am so sick of "Facebook is evil" rants. They miss the point.
Here is the original article:

http://www.mlive.com/business/west-michigan/index.ssf/2010/06/influence_blog_keep_health_inf.html

Here is what I wrote:

The central message of this article is that Facebook is wide open, not password protected, and not secure. It also states that those sites such as Carebridge specialize in safe, secure, private networks that allow you to share private health info with only those it is intended for.

First, Facebook has its flaws granted, but it is as wide open or secure as the end user makes it. There are several ways to privately disseminate sensitive data. One way is to only make your profile viewable by people you have friended. Now when your status reads "Good news! It's not contagious!", only people you trust will see that (provided you don't friend any random person you get a request from).

Second, you don't have to post status updates or anything on the publicly viewable site. You can use a private message. Create groups within your friends that contain only close friends and relatives. Then send an e-mail message that only they can read, "Friends and family, Grandma is not well. Please pray for her". Now only those who need this info can see it and respond to it.
The article also suggests that only naive people would turn to Facebook to get support from their friends instead of sites like Carebridge. Really? How many people do you know that have a Carebridge account? How many have Facebook? People go where the people are. Have you ever tried to get your non technical family members to set up an account on an obscure little used site that you like? Aint gonna happen. Even if they do it, they won't log in everyday and see what you have posted. With Facebook, even my Grandmother who is 80 years old (did I just share too much there?) has an account. She logs in and can see updated pictures of her great grandaughter. Getting her to set up and check another account? Impossible.

Facebook is strong because it is ubiquitous. It is only weak when uneducated users don't tighten their defenses. Besides, should you really share your most intimate secrets on-line anyway? Even if you think it is secure, anything that hits the web is no longer in your control, and exists in the etherworld forever. Be careful, no matter what media you use.

As for the "employers look at all resources to make hiring decisions" point, well that is true. Sort of. I am in charge of hiring in my department, and I did once find a candidate on Facebook. Didn't like what I was seeing and went another direction. But in general, the vast majority of company's don't have the time or resources to scour the Internet before hiring you. Especially to make minimum wage, which unfortunately seems to be the majority of the hiring done these days. If you are applying for a CIO position somewhere, you better bet your on-line presence is important. But then, if you are at that level I would hope you are intelligent enough not to post pics of yourself in a compromising position to begin with. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Facebook doesn't hurt your chances to land a job, you hurt your chances. Use the technology, just use it wisely.

Just sayin....

Should Obama grab a sponge then?

Ok, quick rant. Like him or hate him, the oil spill is NOT Obama's fault. I get the anger, I get the comparisons to Katrina and Bush, but this is not something that can be fixed easily.

Some people say Obama is not doing enough to get the leak stopped. What would you have him do? Take over for BP? Do you really think the US government is going to be more effective at stopping the oil leak than say a privately held company who employs specialists and sees money flowing at thousands of gallons per day? Having anyone but the oil company stop this is ludicrous.

Some people say Obama needs to step in and clean the spill. Far as I can tell, every available resource is already deployed. Can we do anything else with it? How do you clean a spill that has yet to stop spilling?

Some people say this is Obama's Katrina. Night and day here people. There were colossal failures at many levels of the Katrina relief, most of which centered around the failure of our government to release enough aid, and what aid that was released being stuffed fraudulently in the wrong pockets.

Once BP has stopped the leak, and lets all hope that is soon, then we shall see what Obama does. Clearly we need a regulatory overhaul of the drilling industry. Many investigations as to how this happened in the first place are in order. Gut the departments that let this weak system go live in the first place, and replace them with stronger bodies that have the authority needed to shut down companies that endanger our environment.

Shame on you BP for not having a backup plan. Shame on you for pointing fingers, and shame on you for creating the worst man made environmental disaster in history! Now, Obama, the clock is ticking. Shame on you if you don't take action to prevent this from happening again.

¡Qué lío!

I love learning about grammatical errors and common misuse of language. Our University sends out weekly news e-mails and they add a quick blurb at the end related to writing and proper usage of things, usually tying it in to things related to University business.
This weeks tip I found amusing so I figured I would pass it on:

* * *

Writing tip--Choose "who" or "whom" to correctly complete the following sentence.

(Who or Whom) do you love?

There's a popular song, "Who do you love?" performed by Bo Diddley, the Doors and others too numerous to mention, so "who" must be correct. Well, yes and no. Advertising slogans and song lyrics are two of our nation's leading grammatical disasters, which is unfortunate, because you can't get either out of your head.

"Who" is a subject. "Whom" is an object, as in, the object of your love is whom? "Whom do you love?" is grammatically correct, but "Who do you love?" is accepted common usage. Both are "correct," but no one would say or write, "With whom are you in love?" or "Whom do you love?" Use: "Who do you love?"

More writing tips
http://www.wmich.edu/writing/

* * *

So, whom do you love?
By the way, the title to this post is Spanish for "What a mess!"

You want how much for a tub of popped corn?

At work we have a group of people who use vacation time to take Friday afternoons off and go to the movies. Yes I know, you hate me. I get that. I make no apologies for my awesome job!

One of the side affects of seeing so many movies is that I see things well in advance of my wife. She is not a fan of the movie going experience. Maybe its the price, maybe its the kid kicking the back of her seat, maybe she would rather spend two hours of her life somewhere she can have a drink and a smoke. Regardless, due to her aversion to the theater, when she adds a movie to the Netflix Que it's likely that I have already seen it.

This is not such a bad thing, I can usually guide our rental experience and avoid seeing something awful (take Vin Diesels Babylon AD for example). Not to mention if I have already seen it and enjoyed it in the theater, I would like to see it again. Therein lies the problem.

My most recent example is Avatar. I saw that in 3D, an experience I came out of with mixed emotion. The glasses hurt my face after a while, and the constant in you face action gave me a headache. Still, I enjoyed the movie. It was good. Not great. Not a gazillion dollars in record setting ticket sales good, but good. I don't really get what the fuss was about. It's not as groundbreaking as they made it out to be, and the plot was very transparent/predictable.

Now the problem comes in when I was getting groceries the other day and noticed the DVD display with a big yellow sale sign on it. Not one to pass up a good deal (it was only $16.99) I put Avatar in the cart. When we watched it at home on the tv, which is fairly large and of good quality, it just fell flat. I immediately realized that this movie was designed for the theater. Everything about it was carefully crafted to dazzle and amaze, but only on a 30 foot tall screen with 3D and surround sound.

The movie is still watchable, but it is not the same. Some great action scenes still came across entertainingly enough, but the forest world, blue people, and flying scenes just seemed cheesy. I noticed the same thing with Transformers 2, and I think they even cut short a gratuitous running scene with Meghan Fox (maybe it just seemed to last longer on the big screen?). At any rate, I am acutely aware now of the difference between my decent home theater setup and seeing it the way Hollywood intended, in all its mind numbing glory.

Recent Movies I recommend:

Kick Ass - Very bloody and graphic, do NOT let young ones see this. Nick Cage plays a super hero he models after Adam West's Bat Man, this alone is enough to see the movie.

Alice in Wonderland - Burton and Depp are at it again. Not as good as I had hoped, but worth seeing.

Avatar - If only to see what the fuss is about.

Hurt Locker - Based largely on the life of a soldier from MI as he defuses bombs in Iraq.

Inglorious Bastards - Again, very bloody. If you don't like Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill) than you won't like this. If you are hip to the bizarre and bloody nature of his films, this is a must see.

So enjoy but caveat emptor, I make no warranty implied or expressed. If you see one of these films and think it's horrible, I can not give you a refund. I do however recommend you only see something Bruckheimer produces in the theater. It makes a difference.

What's new?

Well, a lot of things...My head is swimming right now! We sign papers on our new house this Friday afternoon, I just set up a lease with a tenant who is going to rent our old house, and my wife is pregnant! Sheesh. I'm thinking of taking up some new hobbies just to fill the down time...

The house buying experience was a drain. We looked at endless homes on-line, walked through a dozen or so, then found one we absolutely loved only to have it stolen out from under us (it was HUD owned and they do a silent auction. We were outbid by $20k, so I don't feel too bad). When we rounded the corner to see the house we eventually bought, my wife actually went "Ooooooo". We took two tours, then found out someone put in an offer the morning of our second walk through. We put together our best deal, just shy of what several comps in the neighborhood sold for, and sat nervously by the phone.

When our agent called she asked me to put it on speaker, so I suspected good news. Then she said they basically accepted as written, and are paying closing! Whoo hoo! Then set in the overwhelming dread of realizing that we now will have two mortgages, and we have to pack six years worth of accumulation to move. Not to mention we are going to become landlords thanks to the fact that there are dozens of foreclosed homes on the market for sale with twice the space and half the price of ours. Thanks banking/housing sectors, thanks a bunch.

So, to recap the whirlwind last couple months for us; found out we are expanding our family, went through a brutal home buying process (not done yet, worst paperwork/writers cramp session of our life coming this Friday!), listed our home for rent and screened a dozen applicants to find a tenant. Wow. How did we survive? Oh, and did I mention that our daughter turned two through all this? Yeah, terrible twos! She is the light of my life, and so cute it is beyond words. Most of the time she is a joy, but her new favorite response to any request from mommy and daddy is, "not yet..." Love it...

Well that's it in a nut shell as they say. What's new with you? I hope this message finds you and yours happy and well. I know I sure am!

So then you just eat it in your car? That's dumb...

The other day we were out house hunting and drove by the new Sonic Drive-In. I mentioned that I had always wanted to try it. I like the old fashioned style drive-in. Thats when the wife said something to the effect of "then you have to eat in your car? Who wants to do that?"

So I did...Today on lunch I decided to take advantage of the last bit of warmth and sunshine before the snow they are calling for in this weekends forecast (seriously, I know this is West MI, but 60 and sunny all week then high of 36 deg with snow showers tomorrow? Really?).

I pulled up in the 'Stang, and every one gawked at me because I have yet to get around to replacing the squawking/creaking/groaning shocks in the front of my car **embarrassing**. There is a menu board with a big red button to push to initiate your order. I asked for a double cheeseburger meal. They offered a choice between tater tots and fries. Seriously, tater tots! I would have gone with the tots but I am all totted out from endless meals with my daughter at home. Besides, the ones we have at home are dinosaur shaped and you can't top the feeling of biting the head off of a T-Rex...but I digress.

The order board has a debit card slot so I could pay with a quick slide of the card. Then less than two minutes later someone on skates rolls my meal to me! They are called Car-Hops. My Car-Hop handed me my food and the drink with a mint on top and asked if I needed anything else. I told him I was good and settled in to my meal.

The burger was huge, the bun lightly toasted. It was two generous patties dripping with cheese, topped w/ tomato, lettuce, onion, ketchup, and mustard. It was delish. The fries were thick and tasty, and most importantly not drenched in salt like some other fast food places. You hear that McDonald's? I don't enjoy scrapping a pound of salt off each fry before consuming!

They played a wide variety of music over the loud speaker as Car-Hops buzzed in and out with smiling friendly service. Oh, and when I ordered the happy person taking my order proudly informed me that my total came to "only $5.99"!

It was a great experience and I will be back. Now I just have to buy a house that is closer to it so it won't be as long of a drive!

Random thoughts

So, I realize I have not posted to this blog in quite some time. Some of you may have suspected that I have become seriously ill, or worse. However, the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Having said that, I have no particular subject to rant about today, so here goes more of my infamous stream of consciousness rambling (read the title of this blog, not surprising, right?).

I am misunderstood...

I suspect all of us feel this way from time to time. You say something, and you get a totally surprising reaction. You think, what went wrong? How could I have been so misunderstood? This has happened to me more often than I care to admit lately, and it is a disturbing trend.

I have recently been called conceited, self righteous, cocky, and verbose (this last complaint usually lodged as "you use big words too much"). Some of these sting. Some are pretty accurate. Some are right on. I wonder though, how I can be so misunderstood?

I don't feel conceited. I can't imagine anyone would openly admit to being so. It's not a good thing, and if I ever felt conceited I would quickly change things around. So what is it that I am doing that causes this perception? Some have tried to explain that I am confident, and that sometimes can come off as conceited.

So, I have lately fretted endlessly about what I say and how I act. I am constantly in my own head trying to filter myself to prevent people from taking things the wrong way. This leads me to a maddening second guessing of myself with every move, and I have decided to say screw it! I am me, take it or leave it, as my wife always says. I hope that those who truly know me would understand that I am not cocky, I don't feel superior to those around me (ironically, it is usually the exact opposite) and I am not intentionally trying to sound smarter than my audience.

That leads us to the verbose problem. I have a fascination with words (see my reference to a Haberdashery early in this blogs infancy). Yes, maybe I am guilty of having a word of the day application on my home page, maybe I do read complicated books, maybe I do use words in my daily language that don't appear in the everyday mans' common vernacular (oooops, did it again). So what. It's not on purpose. I'm not trying to insult you by purposely using words that are over your head. I just enjoy communicating (your honor, the defense submits as exhibit A, this blog).

I use words that tickle my fancy. Words that I have heard, or read, or been fond of for some reason or another. Words that help me, at least in my mind, make my message clearer and more concise. For example, some say things like the apple don't fall far from the tree. I might say that the rosy fruit with seeded womb has succumb to the effects of newtons law, coming to rest not far from whence it came. Ok, maybe not, but I think you get my point. I just like to have fun with it.

There, how's that for a rant? Did I persuade you that I am indeed humble and not conceited, or did I make it worse? Oh well. As Theodor Seuss Geisel (A.K.A. Dr. Seuss) once said, ''those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

I hope the new year finds you happy and healthy!

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

Dear Mr. President, (no, not that one)

Ok, so I may be alone on this one, but I hate when people wear other universities logos on our campus. Especially when it is a staff or faculty member! So, imagine my dismay when I opened a campus newsletter where there is a section highlighting the achievements of some faculty members, and in one of the photos a faculty member is wearing a University of Miami (FL) hat! (no offense to my FL friends and family).

I only have one dress code rule to my minions (students and staff who were unfortunate enough to draw me as their supervisor): No university logos other than ours!

This seems to happen all to often, so I went overboard and sent my rant in e-mail form to WMU's president, John M. Dunn. Too much? Maybe. You be the judge. Here is the letter and his response:

>>> 9/11/2009 10:28 AM >>>
Dr. Dunn,
I am a proud member of the WMU community as a full time staff
member of the University Libraries. I have been a staunch supporter
of our University since joining this community as a student in 1997.
I have seen some highs and lows on this campus in those many years,
and I feel like right now we are poised to shoot up to new heights.
Let me first say that I appreciate the job you have done since
taking over for the late great Deither H. Haenicke. Moral seems to
be up, the profile of the university is up, and things seem to be
heading in the right direction.

I have somewhat of an axe to grind and I am wondering if my topic
might be on your radar. My issue is with members of our WMU family
(students, staff, and faculty alike) wearing apparel from other
universities, especially while representing WMU to the greater
community. Case in point, when reading the Western News September 10
edition, I see on page three a nice paragraph highlighting the
achievements of one of our own faculty members, Mr. G. Micheal
Grammer. In the picture provided Mr. Grammer is wearing a hat from
the University of Miami (FL).

This strikes me as rather odd. If I worked for Pizza Hut, I
wouldn't show up wearing a Dominos hat. Not to mention that Pizza
Hut does not recruit employees in direct competition with Dominos. I
don't think that Mr. Grammer had ill intent while choosing his head
wear, and most of our WMU family don't even realize the implications
of wearing another universities logo. They may have grown up in a
household that lived for watching another universities football
team, or maybe a parent or sibling attends this other university.

However, I think it sends a bad message to our students when even
the faculty seem to hold other institutions above our own. I think
WMU tends to struggle with national recognition, branding, image,
and credit. We are a world class university, yet our logo is no more
recognizable to the world than that of a small town community
college.

It is my belief that a strong message of support for wearing and
promoting the WMU brand come from your office. I would also like to
see a policy that mandates all university employees wear only WMU
logo apparel while at work or representing WMU in public. Especially
printed materials such as news papers. Don't we offer free head
shots to all staff? Seems like Mr. Grammers picture was taken from
his facebook account.

I have also noticed a large number of freshman coming to campus
with their favorite university apparel. Again, there is nothing
wrong with supporting other universities, in fact we should partner
with them to strengthen our impact on society. I would however like
to see some sort of initiative to get students to buy into being a
Bronco. Some program that would encourage them to retire other
university wear. Maybe give a discount or a one for one trade for
Bronco gear. Turn in your UofM shirt, get a free Bronco shirt!
Promote us, and encourage esprit de corp at the same time.

I hope I don't come off as some curmudgeon, and I thank you for
taking the time to review my rant. If nothing else, I at least feel
better for having voiced my concern. I will share with you one final
observation. As I walked through Sangren Hall the other day I was
shocked to see a custodian dutifully mopping the floor while wearing
a Notre Dame hat. Should that not have been a Bronco hat?

Thank you, and keep up the good work!


--


Sincerely,
Randall S James

Server Administrator
University Libraries
Western Michigan University
o: (269) 387-5038
c: (269) 720-2312
Randall.James@wmich.edu

The response:

Randall:

Thank you for your note. I concur 100% with your comments.
Whenever I see one of our students wearing a hat or t-shirt from
another school, I stopped and kid them about "our place" and the
need to demonstrate pride. I also reinforce faculty and staff for
showing the "colors". Please be assured that I will continue to
do so.

Enjoy the weekend,

John

John M. Dunn
President
Western Michigan University
Office of the President
3065 Seibert Administration
Kalamazoo, MI 49008
Office: 269-387-2351
Fax: 269-387-2355
Email: john.dunn@wmich.edu

Not exactly a ringing endorsement of my harsh but needed policy, but hey, I'll take it. At least he agrees with me. Not that it will do much good, but I feel better about it!
Go Broncos!

By the way, we refer to the University of Miami followed by (FL) to designate it as the Hurricanes due to the University of Miami in Ohio. The latter being a school in our athletic conference. Not sure why the larger Miami institution needs the state designation, but that is the way they do it on ESPN, so it has to be correct...

Man Skillz

A while back there was an article in Esquire by one of my favorite fiction/opinion authors Tom Chiarella (fiction editor for Esquire). It was called "The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master". It had some interesting things in it, some of which I know how to do, some not so much. Others were a little off the wall, and I think he was just going for entertainment or fluff to fill the "75".

Regardless, there are a few things that I have attempted to master in my life, and I shall spew a few tips and techniques here. Lets start with one of the manliest.

Man Skill #1: Working on cars
It is something that has always been a part of my life, wrenching on things in the garage with my dad. What could be more manly than trying to squeeze a few extra horses out of a 5.0 liter engine? *Manly grunting sound*. Now, it is not really all that necessary for every man to be able to correctly adjust the timing on a 1968 Windsor small block 302, or to know that most of those engines were actually built in Cleveland, OH. It is however, in my humble opinion, necessary for every man to know how to do general maintenance on their vehicle.

Change the air filter, don't let the quick oil change shop charge you $20 to replace a $5 filter. For that matter, change the oil yourself. Top off the fluids, rotate the tires, change a flat tire. These are the bare minimums of auto ownership. Personally, I replace brake pads, dead fuel pumps (in and out of the tank), serpentine belts, alternators and more.

Man skill #2: Master the grill
This is crucial. Say you are having a party and everyone is hanging out, getting hungrier by the minute. You fire up the grill and nervously stack the meat, wondering if it will turn out more like shoe leather than a juicy, delicious, tender steak. Poking at the meat until it seems "done enough", you pull it off too early or too late. Not good.

To grill the perfect steak is more art than science, but it is something that can be mastered with practice. Here is how I do it: Start with good meat. A nice marinade or grilling salt will help as well. Heat the grill as hot as it can get. Pop the steak on and let the grill sear the meat. This will lock in the juices. Let it sit for about 30 seconds, then give it a 1/4 turn. This will give it the "x" style professional grill marks. Flip and repeat. Next, turn the heat down and slowly cook the steaks. Roughly five minutes per side, depending on how done you want it and thickness of the steak. Do not poke, smush, or mutilate the meat in any fashion. Close the lid! "If you're looking, you ain't cookin!" They make handy thermometers that will tell you internal temp and how done it is. To see my last article on grilling, which subsequently prompted my dad to get me a meat thermometer, look in the archives for the post entitled "Americana" or click here:

Man Skill #3: Tie a tie
This may sound simple, but it goes a long way when dressing to impress. There are several types of knots you can choose from, and styles have varied greatly over the years. Recently the wide knots style like the Windsor or my personal favorite the Four in Hand have made a comeback. Please don't tie a skinny tie, wear a piano keyboard design, or use a clip on. To learn the Windsor, click here:

Man Skill #4: Kill spiders
Man up. This is our job fellas. I know some people that freak out when confronted by a spider...Ehhhhmmm, names withheld to protect the innocent. Granted, no one really wants to get bug guts all over, but however you do it you will be considered a hero to those in the room. My personal favorite is the quick and deadly approach. Grab a tissue to keep it clean and save those around you from the horror of spider juice on the wall. Move swiftly and directly. Catch the spider and smash it. Be sure not to let it escape as this will cause pandemonium. Remove the spider from the room ASAP.

Man Skill #5: Start a fire with twigs and a Bic
Nothing is more manly than the ability to start a blazing camp fire with out assistance from what my dad calls boyscout fire starter fluid (usually gasoline or lighter fluid). Find small dry twigs and snap them up into a pile on top of some dry grass or pine needles (these will take off fast and easy, but won't burn for long). Build a tee-pee of small dry sticks around that, making sure that the flames from the twigs will reach the larger wood. This allows for the three main elements of fire; air, heat, and fuel, to thrive. Light the grass and twigs and gently blow on them until they are burning without help. Continue to feed it more twigs and grass until the sticks begin burning. Progressively add larger sticks and logs to the tee-pee until you have a large enough fire to not need constant attention.
Optional: Bust out the guitar and sing kumbaya. Loads of fun, just add beer.

Now I know that this article might come off as sexist. I am not suggesting that any of these things could not or should not be done by women. In fact, my wife could probably tell you more about your car than I can. However, limiting and sexist as it may sound, I still feel like these things fall mostly on the mans shoulders, and to be a mans man, these are skills you should master. If you don't already know all of these things, put the purse down and man up!

Location: Happily ever after

So I realize I have become a bit fixated on sappy love and happiness stuff of late, but it tends to be at the forefront of my conscience.Today marks the 5 year anniversary of our wedded lives so I am feeling sappy and nostalgic. Deal with it!

I continue to be amazed at the phenomenon that I have touched on previously. That being that no matter how 'on top of it' or 'in touch' you think you are, life has a funny way of showing you that you haven't got a clue.

When I look back at my relationship with my wife I am impressed with how it grows. Five years is sort of modest, yet in one sense it is also pretty impressive (given the divorce rate and quickie marriages).

I love how strong our bond is, and even though we have been together for 8 years (3 dating, 1 engaged, 5 married) we still love to spend time together.We are blessed to be best friends as well as partners. Seems like even given the vast amount of time spent together we can still come up with things to do and talk about. However, there are still things about my wife I may never know or understand.

If someone were to ask me, and I know you didn't, 'what's the secret to a happy marriage post honeymoon phase?' I would say a big part of it is this: effort. Both have to be willing to put in the work. You have to try hard to keep things fresh and interesting. Don't be afraid to try new things, reach out, demand the best, and most importantly know what you want and expect.

Anyone who read my semi-auto biography knows that years ago I learned it is impossible to be part of a successful couple until you can be a successful you. Until you know who you are.

All couples eb and flow. We have our ups and downs, and raising a daughter, while incredibly rewarding and worthwhile, makes it infinitely harder. But in those struggles you are reminded of what is most important to you and you work that much harder. Push for better.

I guess what I am saying is nothing goes according to plan. Even the best laid plans of mice and men go astray as John Steinbeck would remind us. But if you are willing to work hard you can end up with more than you ever dreamed possible.

A big key to a marriage is the ability to sit and talk for hours about nothing...or sit for hours and not talk. You each need to have your own interests and be able to just be content by being together.

I am no expert, and even though my wife calls me 'Dr. Phil' I am just drawing conclusions and sharing what is on my mind.

I can assure you though that no matter who you are, or what length relationship you are in, success starts with you. Resolve today to strive for more, it is never too late and you deserve it!

(Editors note: This was written at a bar after drinks with no spell check on a cell phone. Take it for what its worth!)

Randomness

Well, I have been certainly peppering this blog with posts lately. Seems I have renewed my zest. Here are a couple of thoughts I have this morning, in no particular order:

Jon & Kate + 8 = Does not add up. I am so sick of hearing about this family. At least they have taken the nations eyes off of the Octomom for a minute, but stop peppering me with the 'Drama' of the supposedly failing marriage between two people that never seemed to like each other very much anyway. Seriously, have you ever seen them? He is a bumbling idiot, and she has very little tolerance for him.

Now here is my problem, they are crying that the TV show is ruining their lives and invading their privacy. What? You seemed happy as a clam to let them in when the marriage was 'working' and don't tell me the $70k per episode they are paying you is not helping you swallow this bitter pill. By my count, they are well into the $4 million dollar range already, enough to end the show and raise all 8 kids comfortably for the rest of their lives.

It always grinds me when b-list, reality 'star' celebs start crying that their shows are ruining their lives. What did you expect? Having even one child puts a strain on even the strongest relationships, let alone multiple sets of multiples. Now you want to toss in some cameras and allow the world to watch? Have you never seen another reality show and how messed up the people are after it ends? Smells of greed and made up drama to me. Did I mention that the season premier drew a record audience once people heard that Jon was supposedly stepping out on poor Kate? Hmmmmm.....

If you really care, end the show, kick out the cameras and heal the wounds of your relationship. As always, my biggest concern with these types is that they are hurting the kids by being so reckless, but luckily these kids are young enough and seem to be enjoying themselves so there should not be any long term pain. That is unless the couple splits...divorce can get ugly. Who gets the 16 passenger van?

Next, I see that President Barrack Obama has made an appeal to the Muslim world to 'Start over'. He suggests that people the world over stand up and confront the radical extremists. While I applaud the president in his efforts, and I believe we really need some world collaboration against terror, I just don't see any sort of peaceful or short end to this problem.

The biggest issue is this; the terrorists are not asking for anything. That's right, they don't want land, they don't want money, they don't even want an apology. They just want to kill all infidels. How do you 'confront' that? What do you say to someone who has repeatedly demonstrated a willingness to kill you and or die trying? Confronting them is a good way to get dead, and getting dead will seriously hamper your efforts to end terrorism. Seems to me the only way to handle them is with the business end of a stealth drone aircraft armed with smart stingers...

Ah ha! Therein lies the problem then! When we kill them, we stoop to their level and prove their point. Our aggression only serves to strengthen their resolve and bolster their recruiting. This needs to be a smart war waged with diplomatic cunning and economic crushings (ie; cut off the money supply to the terrorists).

I do think that most people have incorrectly and unfairly labeled the Muslim world. It is not the Muslims as a whole who are doing this, but a relatively small subset of militant extremists devoid of logic and compassion. Don't judge the group based on the actions of a few.

I wish our Prez the best of luck, but he has a tall order.