Semi Coherent Ramblings of a Mad Man

I won't stand for this...

2012-01-30T08:04:00.000-08:00

Recently I have switched to a standing desk at work. There was a betting pool started on how long before I would give up and switch back, but I do believe I have already beat the over/under of two weeks.

A while back some people I know started standing desks. There are lots of studies and documentation on the health benefits, you can google for yourself if interested. I have long been concerned about the effect of sitting as much as I do. So, I grabbed one of the wooden desks we use for patron walk up catalog terminals, moved my old desk into storage (just in case I needed it back!) and jumped in.

Lots of curious onlookers have stopped by my desk to ask, "so...how do you like it?" Well, here in a nut-shell (why would anyone put something in a nut-shell anyway?) is my take on the first few weeks of a standing desk:

The Good:

-I don't feel the aches and pains I had from 8 hours a day in a chair. My legs feel less cramped, my shoulders don't ache, and so on.

-I find that standing has caused me to interact with people in the office more. Since I am already up it is easier to move about the office and talk to people instead of lazily firing off an email to someone who is ten feet away. Count that a plus for me, and a minus for the poor saps in my office...

-I can focus more. Distractions are easier to ignore since I feel like I have to complete a task and move on to something else before my feet begin to hurt from standing in one place too long.

-I'm not sure I have experienced any health benefits. Might be too early to give a verdict on that. I have however managed to change the aches and pains, so maybe after some time they may all clear up? Maybe...

The Bad:

-New aches and pains. My feet hurt since I am not used to standing so much. When I worked retail, 10 plus hours a day on my feet was a cake walk. Since I have not done that in seven plus years, I assume I just need to rebuild muscles and strength needed for standing.

-Long tasks require sitting still. If I am involved in something complex and time consuming I need to sit at times. I battle that by having a sitting desk right behind me for breaks and complex work.

-I work in a fishbowl. I have no office door, matter of fact I even share my cubicle with students since we are out of space. Lots of people like to come talk to me about my desk. For me it's not much of a bother since I am social and like to share my experiences anyway, but I don't think I would count this in the "good" column. I did have to make up my mind on whether I wanted to deal with "standing out" in my office. Yeah, I went there...

-Collaboration with office mates can be difficult for them since they have to stand when at my desk. Not my problem really, but something that should be condisdered if you are thinking about trying this.

To recap:
This is not for everyone. Comfy shoes are a must. Give yourself the option to sit, not sure I would stick with this if I couldn't. Be prepared to explain/defend. Save your old desk so you can go back. No shame in trying something only to find out it's not for you. Give it a try! What have you got to lose?

For consideration:
If you have a cheap or free option like I was lucky enough to, just give it a try. No investment. Buying a standing desk is a financial commitment you have to weigh. Not sure where I stand on that...eh, ehem. Well, you get the point.

Make sure you follow good ergonomic guides and put the keyboard/monitors at the correct height to prevent undue strain. Have fun, and I would love to hear from you if you try it, are thinking of trying, or are already standing!

Paterno: Sad and tragic ending, all the way around

2012-01-24T05:48:00.000-08:00

***If you have a squeamish stomach and do not want to read about controversy or child abuse, please do not read this article...You have been warned!***

Joe Paterno passed away this week. Some say he died of a broken heart. While I am sad for the Paterno family's loss, I'm pretty sure lung cancer is what got him, which would have happened even if he was never fired.

For those of you living under a rock, here is a recap of what happened over the last few months.
Mike McQueary, (a former player,then assistant coach and grown man), witnessed Jerry Sandusky, (former Defensive coach and then member of a youth outreach program), rape a 10 year old boy in the shower of the Penn State football facility.

McQueary has made several different statements about his actions following this incident, ranging from doing nothing and leaving to physically separating them and leaving. Any way you slice it, not much there to cheer about. Me? I would have beat Sandusky to a bloody pulp, or at least called the police. But that is another matter.

This action was then reported to Paterno the next day. Joe Pa, as he is affectionately known, has also given several accounts of what happened next, anything from reporting "something funny" happened to "maybe a little inappropriate tickling". Who did he report to? The police on campus? The state police? A detective? A prosecutor? Sandusky himself? Nope. The president and athletic director...Hmmm...Protecting a football program? I think so.

So they certainly took appropriate action, right? Nope. Not once was an investigation conducted. No law enforcement called. Not even a ban of Sandusky from the building. Now here is where I start to really get mad.

This incident. The one witnessed by a credible grown man. It was reported to Joe Pa in 2002. TEN YEARS AGO. Sandusky had free reign of this facility and the youth outreach program called Second Mile the whole time. Joe knew this. He knew no action was taken. Then he defended that by saying he was "...hesitant to make follow-up calls because I did not want to be seen as trying to exert any influence for or against Sandusky. I didn't know which way to go, and rather than get in there and make a mistake . . ."

Joe Paterno, a man of high regard. A man with decades on the record of "doing things the right way", was hesitant to get involved on behalf of a raped ten year old boy. Seriously? Get in there, throw your weight around and make sure something is done. No ambiguity, no grey area, no tough call. There is only one clear path forward. The cost of going forward is high, but the cost of not going forward is life changing. I refuse to believe this mighty man, the moral compass of a community and even a nation, had a hard time figuring that out. Only one conclusion can be drawn from this. Paterno did nothing for fear his football legacy would be tarnished.

Now the apologists are saying he got a raw deal. You have to forgive the man of one small mistake and not let that over shadow his decades of good work. To this I say, how can you call it ONE mistake? How can you call it a SMALL mistake? He had ten years to step up and do the right thing. He chose not to, and who knows how many more boys suffered the same fate.

Yes I understand that any one of the people in this story, starting with McQueary, should have stood up and shouted. Joe did not witness this himself which is probably the one thing that saves any grace for him. Yet I can't help but get sick when I hear Joe Pa apologists shout "Look at all the good he did", or "Look how many lives he touched". I can't help but think of the lives he should have touched and didn't.

Everyone deserves forgiveness. We are all human and we all make mistakes. I don't wish to vilify Paterno and suggest that the body of his work is now worthless. What I do wish to point out is simply this. Before you suggest him for sainthood don't forget, the most powerful man in college football history, the most influential man in Penn State, the one who is famous for 'doing things the right way', stood by and did nothing in the most crucial hour. That I will never forget.

God bless the victims and their families. Football is just a game...

Kids say the darndest things

2011-06-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

An update to an earlier post about funny things my daughter has said or done.

-I had shaved my face completely clean for the first time in years, possibly the first time since Emily was born. I asked her if she noticed something different about daddy as I stroked my naked chin. "Your whiskers are missing!" The next morning as I lifted her into momma's truck to go to grandmas for the day (I was off work and in my pj's, just a pair of shorts) she pointed to my underarm and excitedly says, "Daddy! Your whiskers are back!"

-We were at a graduation open house and some kids were hitting whiffle balls off a tee. Emily of course wanted a turn and was doing well. I nervously watched on as other kids swung bats, figuring for sure that Emily was about to get cracked in the head. The little boy of some friends of ours, around 5 years old, came to give her a new ball to hit. "No thanks..." said Emily, "I already have one..." and without warning and before I could react she took a big swing at the ball on the tee, connecting perfectly with the little boys forehead. As the boy held his head and cried he asked, "Why did she do that?"

-Emily had backed into the dry sink in the dinning room, smacking her head in the process. I asked her if she cracked her head. "Nope..." she said, "My heads not cracked..."

Unchain my entertainment!

2011-06-16T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well, as most of you know I have been looking at dumping Charter for a while now. It began as a search for a cheaper alternative to their internet and television. I did lots of research only to find that you can't really beat their prices and offerings, well not by much anyway.

Satellite has drawbacks:
1) Two year contract to get the good prices

2) Monthly fee to rent a box per T.V.

3) Don't have the same channels as Charter (not a huge loss, but I like a couple that Charter has and Direct/Dish do not)

4) Hard to compare to cable as it's not really apples to apples

5) The cost savings, if you skimp on the offerings, are not tremendous enough to really outweigh the pain in my opinion. Not to mention the ugly satellite bolted to my house and losing the picture whenever it snows...

There are no other Cable providers in my area (AT&T U-Verse has been "coming soon!" for about five years now, and Comcast is not available). Tell me how that is not a monopoly? So if I want basic cable Charter is the best option.

As for internet, well there really is only one option. AT&T DSL. And it's horrible. They have 3mbps speed on special for $19.95 for 1 year. Sounds great, right? Yeah, well then it goes to like $50 after that. Services like Netflix recommend something like 5mbps or better and Charters is 12mbps. Plus you have to buy a $75 starter kit, and get this: They cap your monthly downloads at 150 gig, with an outrageous overage charge! Their claim is that 90% of their customers will never hit that. Oh yeah? When Netflix starts streaming in HD, I bet I hit that in a week...

That brings me to my next point. Why not get most, if not all my entertainment online? I have a Netflix account. That combined with Hulu and other products, I'm all set right? Sure...as long as you don't like live events like sports (the kind you don't find on network TV for free over the air). Uh, BIG problem for me.

If I call Charter and tell them to cancel my cable I would loose all Pistons games (they don't appear on network television due to the fact that they suck), some UofM games (they are on the Big 10 network sometimes), and almost all Red Wing games (they play on Vs and FSN). Not to mention Monday Night Football!

So I am faced with this dilemma. Stick with Charter and continue to pay them $60 a month for crappy tv so I can see my sports, or use an antenna combined with online viewing of tv shows to replace tv, but loose my sports...

Sigh. No easy choice here. If gas doesn't get closer to $3 a gallon (and even if it does we know it won't stay) I may have no choice!

As for the antenna option, well I think I like it. Very tempting. I need to figure out if I can get my stations with a fixed antenna. Then I can hook it into the main coax feed for the house and viola! Free HD tv to all jacks in the house! Then I can utilize the PC attached to my main tv to watch movies on Netflix, and tv shows on Hulu. It would almost be a direct replacement for Charter. There is a device called a Roku box that I can add to my two other tvs (between $50 and $100 per box). This device connects wireless to my home internet network and provides Hulu, Netflix and more straight to the tv! Now I just have to figure out if my other two tv's are DTV ready (meaning, can they get the free over the air HD from the aforementioned antenna on the roof, or do I need a converter box?) and can I live without sports?

Some have suggested to me that I can just go to the local bar to watch the Pistons. Those who know me can understand that the $60 per month I save from canceling Charter would quickly disappear in bar tabs. Not to mention baby sitters (I want to take my wife with me!).

So, my quest continues. The future of television as we know it is very cloudy (cloudy, that's an I.T. joke...never mind). I think you'll see them embrace the online world as a delivery medium more and more in the coming years. Look for the ability to pick and choose a channel or show at a time to subscribe to! I can't wait. Now if only they can get regional sports live online!

One more thing...when I decided I was stuck with Charter internet no matter what (the wife and I both occasionally work from home, not to mention stream music and movies as well as tv) I bought my own modem. Saving the $5 a mo rental fee was going to stick it to Charter! The day the modem arrived ($50 on Amazon) Charter sent us a notice that they were upping the rental fee to $7! Take that corporate greed! lol

From the mouths of babes

2011-04-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

Things that come from the mind of a child are often hilarious. Here are a few I can think of that came from Emily, who recently turned three.

-When being told by her mother that she has a cold just like her sister, Emily replied, "No, I have a cold, but Hailey has a warm..."

-When digging through a bag of tools and parts used to assemble a swing she found various tools like wrenches, nuts, and something else. When I asked her what that round thing was she said, "Its a dryer." I stopped to think for a second, then realized, it was a washer...

-At dinner I had a chili pepper that I did not plan to eat. In the interest of seeing me clean my plate Emily asked what that thing was, and whether or not I was going to eat it. I told her it was a chili pepper, and was too spicy to eat. She crossed her arms around herself and said, "Brrrr". Momentarily confused, I realized she thought I meant that the pepper was cold.

-Emily had been struggling with a cough, sore throat, runny nose type cold. One day she walks up to me and very seriously says, "Daddy, I have a very bad feeling..." Oh no, I said, wondering where this was going. "Yeah, and its right here..." she said, pointing to her sore throat.

-The day we brought Hailey home from the hospital Emily was ablaze with excitement. She whisked through the house and beamed when someone suggested she give her baby sister a tour of the house. Emily looked up at momma, who was holding Hailey, as if to say "Put her down so I can show her around". Then she asks, "Can she walk?" Momma had to explain that Hailey was just a little baby, but if Emily lead the tour momma would take her baby sister around to show her the house.

-In the bathtub one day Emily was happily playing with her toys when all of a sudden she stops, gets a devilish grin on her face, then farts. Bubbles role to the surface and she giggled and proudly exclaimed, "I made bubbles!" Good child, as long as it was just bubbles...

-Emily met me at the door when I arrived home from work one day. "Hello daddy!" She said. "Come on in, come meet my friend mommy!" Thanks, but we've met...

-Some friends of ours visited with their kids. Emily and the other little girl hit it off right away. Poor little Gabe was out numbered and tried to hang with the all girls club with mixed results. After he started to play with Emily's sacred stuffed dog named Buddy, Emily went to Gabe's dad and very seriously asked if they could take Gabe home but leave his sister to play.

-Grandpa had been teaching Emily to catch by telling her to "keep your eye on the ball." She grabbed a ball, cocked her arm back, then said "put my eye on the ball" while literally putting the ball on her eye

-When asked what she thought of her new baby sister Emily thought for a moment, then replied "She cries alot..."

-After we carved a pumpkin I put a candle in it and turned the lights out. I asked Emily if she thought the pumpkin looked scary. She said, "He's not scary..." As if to prove it she followed that with, "...and I'm gonna pet him!"

-One day Em and I were looking through pics and I said, isn't momma pretty? She says "momma is old...and pretty" I promplty fell on the floor laughing

-After changing one of Emily's messy diapers she says to me, "there's poopies in there!" Oh yeah? "Yup. And toots too!"

-Emily was being silly so I said, "you're goofy..." She put her hands on her hips and indignantly replied, "I'm not Goofy! I'm just Emily!"

-We were eating dinner and Emily had Cheetos with her Sloppy Joe. Upon realizing that she was out, and seeing that momma had some on her plate, she turns and sticks her hand out and with attitude says, "Can I get one?"

-Sitting in the living room, Emily long since in bed, when Kristy gets hit with a huge sneeze. Suddenly we hear Emily's sweet little voice over the monitor, "Bless you momma!" Guess the living room is not as far from Em's room as we thought!

-Emily, can you find Humpty Dumpty on this page? *scans the book...''There's Humpt Umpty!''

-After suggesting to Emily that she push the train forward, she promptly replied, ''Fiveward!''

The Joys of Parenthood

2011-01-10T09:16:00.000-08:00

I have enjoyed being a father. Sure, most days are filled with crying, defiance, messy pants, and lots of other unsavory things, but you know why that doesn't matter? You come home from work and your little girl squeals with delight, comes running over to give you a big hug and tells you she missed you. In moments like that, you know that without a doubt, it's all worth it. *Wipes a tear and sniffles*

The wife and I are constantly faced with new challenges, successes and barriers to success. United we stand, and so far we have been pretty successful. One such success came lately while the kids were visiting grandparents.

The wife and I took a much needed night out to play trivia at the local watering hole when my phone rings. It was my father-in-law. He said, "just thought you would want to know that your eldest daughter just went poopie on the big girl potty!"

I announced this wonderful news aloud to the whole bar. Our table gave a big cheer and we toasted the great news. Laughter, congratulations, and jubilation filled the night for us.

Funny how life changes, huh? I never would have pictured myself here, even though I always felt I wanted kids and a family. Now I can't picture myself anywhere else.

There was a time when the thought of changing a dirty diaper, or soothing a screaming child would have sent shivers of fear and panic through me. Now, one look into the face of my smiling happy two month old turns me to mush. No amount of screaming or soiled pants can overcome that feeling.

We continue to be blessed people. I have a great life.

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

Chasing Rainbows

2010-08-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

I'm always chasing rainbows. Then, when I catch one, I spot the next rainbow on the horizon. How beautiful! Off I go running again, cursing every step that remains between me and my next rainbow. Having arrived at this rainbow I instantly spot the next one. Oh how I wish I were already at that next rainbow!

What is my favorite season? Winter I suppose. I love the white wash of freshly fallen snow. I love the bite of cold on my nose. I love to zip down the trails on a snowmobile. But soon enough I long for spring. I wish for the coming of warmth. Flowers. Rain.

Spring arrives like clockwork every year. Gorgeous, renewing, reviving spring. The world awakens from its slumber. Color permeates the landscape and I breath the bouquet of fresh smells. Ahhh, this is living. Yet, it is not quite warm enough. Not dry enough. I am sick of mud. I want summer! Bring on the beach!

As it always does, summer arrives. Heat. Sunshine. Fresh cut grass. Outdoor living. We camp, we go to the lake, we grill food. Have I arrived in my favorite season? I miss football. I miss the cold. I miss Fall. Where oh where are my stunning tapestry of golds, reds, oranges, and yellows in the trees? Why can't I have a bit of cool breeze? Where is Fall?

Yes, Fall arrives on time as well. Now, maybe now, I am in my favorite season. Yes, now I can relax and enjoy life! Football has returned. We rake leaves, we eat donughts and drink apple cider! Pumpkins! Halloween! Glorious fall is here. Then again...Man, sure would be nice to ride a snowmobile. Where is winter? I am never satisfied.

My favorite season is whatever season is next...

Bring on Fall!

What do you do when you arrive at a rainbow? Do you sit back and bask in its glory, or do you dash off in search of the next one?

Did you bring the beer?

2010-08-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sunburns and hangovers. I don't like them, but I seem to end up with them all the time. We had a great weekend up north, and I managed to avoid the latter, but not the former.

We went to our family cabin outside of Kalkaska for a fun weekend of fresh air, sunshine, good food and family bonding. We got all that and then some. The "kids", that being my family and my brothers family (pets included) came up Thursday night. We made a trip to the farmers market and got lots of great fresh Michigan fruits and veggies. Had a delish cookout and munched on fruit salad.

Saturday we took mom and dad to a place my brother and his wife knew of up the Manistee river. For $10 per person they drive you up river, give you a tube and send you floating down river back to the dock.

We packed our cooler with lunch and drinks and began our journey early in the afternoon. It was a fantastic relaxing ride through some beautiful scenery. Cool, but not too cold water that was over my head deep in some places, and only a few inches in others.

We drank, laughed, relaxed and had a blast. Half way back we stopped and pulled off to the side to eat our lunch. Shared some jokes with a group that was behind us, and shoved off again. The weather was gorgeous and I was soaking up the sun (more on that later).

I was feeling pretty good when we were about ten minutes from the dock, but we were now out of beer. Just then I heard what sounded like a walkie talkie radio off in the distance. We were now floating past a camp ground and I assumed it was some campers messing around on shore.

I shouted to our group that we should be careful as the cops were after us. This was met with much amusement and prompted another member of our group to yell something profane about law enforcement. The camper shouted back at us, furthering my suspicion that it was not actually a cop. I guess he was insulted. Then he yelled, "I will meet you at the dock with a ticket!".

Again, still feeling I was conversing with some random tourist, whom I had yet to physically lay eyes on, I shouted back, "Oh yeah? Well, bring some beer, cause we're out!". Thats when I noticed my mothers face go white and the rest of the group got all quiet. They all had just saw what I was not able to spot. A Kalkaska County Sheriff standing just off the bank of the river, red faced and mad as ever.

Sure enough, when we pulled up he was waiting for us. He motioned to my brother to step to the vehicle, and we all prepared to go bail him out of jail. The cop was hot, and he was right in his face, pointing his finger. We stood by and listened as he gave lectures on the virtues of respect and orderly conduct, especially when addressing an officer of the law.

Now I admit, what we said was stupid in retrospect, but we meant no harm. We were just excited and having a good time. We got a little cocky sure, but nothing I felt to really get us in trouble. Nothing to warrant the way this guy handled us.

The finger in the face was an intimidation move, I don't like it, but I get it. He was clearly trying to provoke my brother. When that didn't work, he started to insult him. "Weren't you raised better than that? Your momma should smack you!" Now he was baiting my mother, and I stepped in between her and the officer. Then the coup de gra, "Your mother should be ashamed of you!" To which my bother replied without missing a beat, "Im sure she is sir". This made the cop even more frustrated, and after running my brothers info (we could hear over the speaker, "No wants, No Warrants, No Record") he reluctantly released us all while muttering some more of his high and mighty moral advice.

I was shocked! Never would I have thought we would escape all that without so much as a verbal "warning" or written citation for something. It was as though my brother had used some Jedi mind trick on the guy. *waves his hand* "These are not the drunks you are looking for", "They can go about their business", "Move along".

We jumped in the truck and howled with laughter all the way home. What a day. I had a glass or two of my Oberon keg that my parents brought me, but other than that we just grilled food and enjoyed our family's company for the rest of the night. My wife rolled her eyes and was not impressed with the story of our almost arrest, but I think in the end she saw the humor in it. Maybe.

As for the sunburn, well, it could have been worse. Those who know me already are aware that an hour of sun for me is the same as crossing the Sahara, brutal and painful. My thoughtful wife snagged me before I left and helped put SPF 50 (from the same tube we use for my two year old mind you) on my back. I added some to my legs and front, but for unexplained reasons missed my arms. They were burned so crispy by the time we got back you would swear I had stood on the surface of the sun! Ouch!

Good times. We learned a lesson. Pack more beer and or assume you are talking to a cop at all times! Can't wait to do it again!

Good news! It's not contagious!

2010-06-24T10:58:00.000-07:00

There was an article posted on Mlive.com today that sort of sent me on a tangent. Maybe I come on a little strong, but I am so sick of "Facebook is evil" rants. They miss the point.
Here is the original article:

http://www.mlive.com/business/west-michigan/index.ssf/2010/06/influence_blog_keep_health_inf.html

Here is what I wrote:

The central message of this article is that Facebook is wide open, not password protected, and not secure. It also states that those sites such as Carebridge specialize in safe, secure, private networks that allow you to share private health info with only those it is intended for.

First, Facebook has its flaws granted, but it is as wide open or secure as the end user makes it. There are several ways to privately disseminate sensitive data. One way is to only make your profile viewable by people you have friended. Now when your status reads "Good news! It's not contagious!", only people you trust will see that (provided you don't friend any random person you get a request from).

Second, you don't have to post status updates or anything on the publicly viewable site. You can use a private message. Create groups within your friends that contain only close friends and relatives. Then send an e-mail message that only they can read, "Friends and family, Grandma is not well. Please pray for her". Now only those who need this info can see it and respond to it.
The article also suggests that only naive people would turn to Facebook to get support from their friends instead of sites like Carebridge. Really? How many people do you know that have a Carebridge account? How many have Facebook? People go where the people are. Have you ever tried to get your non technical family members to set up an account on an obscure little used site that you like? Aint gonna happen. Even if they do it, they won't log in everyday and see what you have posted. With Facebook, even my Grandmother who is 80 years old (did I just share too much there?) has an account. She logs in and can see updated pictures of her great grandaughter. Getting her to set up and check another account? Impossible.

Facebook is strong because it is ubiquitous. It is only weak when uneducated users don't tighten their defenses. Besides, should you really share your most intimate secrets on-line anyway? Even if you think it is secure, anything that hits the web is no longer in your control, and exists in the etherworld forever. Be careful, no matter what media you use.

As for the "employers look at all resources to make hiring decisions" point, well that is true. Sort of. I am in charge of hiring in my department, and I did once find a candidate on Facebook. Didn't like what I was seeing and went another direction. But in general, the vast majority of company's don't have the time or resources to scour the Internet before hiring you. Especially to make minimum wage, which unfortunately seems to be the majority of the hiring done these days. If you are applying for a CIO position somewhere, you better bet your on-line presence is important. But then, if you are at that level I would hope you are intelligent enough not to post pics of yourself in a compromising position to begin with. Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Facebook doesn't hurt your chances to land a job, you hurt your chances. Use the technology, just use it wisely.

Just sayin....

Should Obama grab a sponge then?

2010-06-03T10:39:00.001-07:00

Ok, quick rant. Like him or hate him, the oil spill is NOT Obama's fault. I get the anger, I get the comparisons to Katrina and Bush, but this is not something that can be fixed easily.

Some people say Obama is not doing enough to get the leak stopped. What would you have him do? Take over for BP? Do you really think the US government is going to be more effective at stopping the oil leak than say a privately held company who employs specialists and sees money flowing at thousands of gallons per day? Having anyone but the oil company stop this is ludicrous.

Some people say Obama needs to step in and clean the spill. Far as I can tell, every available resource is already deployed. Can we do anything else with it? How do you clean a spill that has yet to stop spilling?

Some people say this is Obama's Katrina. Night and day here people. There were colossal failures at many levels of the Katrina relief, most of which centered around the failure of our government to release enough aid, and what aid that was released being stuffed fraudulently in the wrong pockets.

Once BP has stopped the leak, and lets all hope that is soon, then we shall see what Obama does. Clearly we need a regulatory overhaul of the drilling industry. Many investigations as to how this happened in the first place are in order. Gut the departments that let this weak system go live in the first place, and replace them with stronger bodies that have the authority needed to shut down companies that endanger our environment.

Shame on you BP for not having a backup plan. Shame on you for pointing fingers, and shame on you for creating the worst man made environmental disaster in history! Now, Obama, the clock is ticking. Shame on you if you don't take action to prevent this from happening again.

¡Qué lío!

2010-05-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

I love learning about grammatical errors and common misuse of language. Our University sends out weekly news e-mails and they add a quick blurb at the end related to writing and proper usage of things, usually tying it in to things related to University business.
This weeks tip I found amusing so I figured I would pass it on:

* * *

Writing tip--Choose "who" or "whom" to correctly complete the following sentence.

(Who or Whom) do you love?

There's a popular song, "Who do you love?" performed by Bo Diddley, the Doors and others too numerous to mention, so "who" must be correct. Well, yes and no. Advertising slogans and song lyrics are two of our nation's leading grammatical disasters, which is unfortunate, because you can't get either out of your head.

"Who" is a subject. "Whom" is an object, as in, the object of your love is whom? "Whom do you love?" is grammatically correct, but "Who do you love?" is accepted common usage. Both are "correct," but no one would say or write, "With whom are you in love?" or "Whom do you love?" Use: "Who do you love?"

More writing tips
http://www.wmich.edu/writing/

* * *

So, whom do you love?
By the way, the title to this post is Spanish for "What a mess!"

You want how much for a tub of popped corn?

2010-04-30T05:37:00.000-07:00

At work we have a group of people who use vacation time to take Friday afternoons off and go to the movies. Yes I know, you hate me. I get that. I make no apologies for my awesome job!

One of the side affects of seeing so many movies is that I see things well in advance of my wife. She is not a fan of the movie going experience. Maybe its the price, maybe its the kid kicking the back of her seat, maybe she would rather spend two hours of her life somewhere she can have a drink and a smoke. Regardless, due to her aversion to the theater, when she adds a movie to the Netflix Que it's likely that I have already seen it.

This is not such a bad thing, I can usually guide our rental experience and avoid seeing something awful (take Vin Diesels Babylon AD for example). Not to mention if I have already seen it and enjoyed it in the theater, I would like to see it again. Therein lies the problem.

My most recent example is Avatar. I saw that in 3D, an experience I came out of with mixed emotion. The glasses hurt my face after a while, and the constant in you face action gave me a headache. Still, I enjoyed the movie. It was good. Not great. Not a gazillion dollars in record setting ticket sales good, but good. I don't really get what the fuss was about. It's not as groundbreaking as they made it out to be, and the plot was very transparent/predictable.

Now the problem comes in when I was getting groceries the other day and noticed the DVD display with a big yellow sale sign on it. Not one to pass up a good deal (it was only $16.99) I put Avatar in the cart. When we watched it at home on the tv, which is fairly large and of good quality, it just fell flat. I immediately realized that this movie was designed for the theater. Everything about it was carefully crafted to dazzle and amaze, but only on a 30 foot tall screen with 3D and surround sound.

The movie is still watchable, but it is not the same. Some great action scenes still came across entertainingly enough, but the forest world, blue people, and flying scenes just seemed cheesy. I noticed the same thing with Transformers 2, and I think they even cut short a gratuitous running scene with Meghan Fox (maybe it just seemed to last longer on the big screen?). At any rate, I am acutely aware now of the difference between my decent home theater setup and seeing it the way Hollywood intended, in all its mind numbing glory.

Recent Movies I recommend:

Kick Ass - Very bloody and graphic, do NOT let young ones see this. Nick Cage plays a super hero he models after Adam West's Bat Man, this alone is enough to see the movie.

Alice in Wonderland - Burton and Depp are at it again. Not as good as I had hoped, but worth seeing.

Avatar - If only to see what the fuss is about.

Hurt Locker - Based largely on the life of a soldier from MI as he defuses bombs in Iraq.

Inglorious Bastards - Again, very bloody. If you don't like Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill) than you won't like this. If you are hip to the bizarre and bloody nature of his films, this is a must see.

So enjoy but caveat emptor, I make no warranty implied or expressed. If you see one of these films and think it's horrible, I can not give you a refund. I do however recommend you only see something Bruckheimer produces in the theater. It makes a difference.

What's new?

2010-04-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well, a lot of things...My head is swimming right now! We sign papers on our new house this Friday afternoon, I just set up a lease with a tenant who is going to rent our old house, and my wife is pregnant! Sheesh. I'm thinking of taking up some new hobbies just to fill the down time...

The house buying experience was a drain. We looked at endless homes on-line, walked through a dozen or so, then found one we absolutely loved only to have it stolen out from under us (it was HUD owned and they do a silent auction. We were outbid by $20k, so I don't feel too bad). When we rounded the corner to see the house we eventually bought, my wife actually went "Ooooooo". We took two tours, then found out someone put in an offer the morning of our second walk through. We put together our best deal, just shy of what several comps in the neighborhood sold for, and sat nervously by the phone.

When our agent called she asked me to put it on speaker, so I suspected good news. Then she said they basically accepted as written, and are paying closing! Whoo hoo! Then set in the overwhelming dread of realizing that we now will have two mortgages, and we have to pack six years worth of accumulation to move. Not to mention we are going to become landlords thanks to the fact that there are dozens of foreclosed homes on the market for sale with twice the space and half the price of ours. Thanks banking/housing sectors, thanks a bunch.

So, to recap the whirlwind last couple months for us; found out we are expanding our family, went through a brutal home buying process (not done yet, worst paperwork/writers cramp session of our life coming this Friday!), listed our home for rent and screened a dozen applicants to find a tenant. Wow. How did we survive? Oh, and did I mention that our daughter turned two through all this? Yeah, terrible twos! She is the light of my life, and so cute it is beyond words. Most of the time she is a joy, but her new favorite response to any request from mommy and daddy is, "not yet..." Love it...

Well that's it in a nut shell as they say. What's new with you? I hope this message finds you and yours happy and well. I know I sure am!

So then you just eat it in your car? That's dumb...

2010-03-19T11:02:00.000-07:00

The other day we were out house hunting and drove by the new Sonic Drive-In. I mentioned that I had always wanted to try it. I like the old fashioned style drive-in. Thats when the wife said something to the effect of "then you have to eat in your car? Who wants to do that?"

So I did...Today on lunch I decided to take advantage of the last bit of warmth and sunshine before the snow they are calling for in this weekends forecast (seriously, I know this is West MI, but 60 and sunny all week then high of 36 deg with snow showers tomorrow? Really?).

I pulled up in the 'Stang, and every one gawked at me because I have yet to get around to replacing the squawking/creaking/groaning shocks in the front of my car **embarrassing**. There is a menu board with a big red button to push to initiate your order. I asked for a double cheeseburger meal. They offered a choice between tater tots and fries. Seriously, tater tots! I would have gone with the tots but I am all totted out from endless meals with my daughter at home. Besides, the ones we have at home are dinosaur shaped and you can't top the feeling of biting the head off of a T-Rex...but I digress.

The order board has a debit card slot so I could pay with a quick slide of the card. Then less than two minutes later someone on skates rolls my meal to me! They are called Car-Hops. My Car-Hop handed me my food and the drink with a mint on top and asked if I needed anything else. I told him I was good and settled in to my meal.

The burger was huge, the bun lightly toasted. It was two generous patties dripping with cheese, topped w/ tomato, lettuce, onion, ketchup, and mustard. It was delish. The fries were thick and tasty, and most importantly not drenched in salt like some other fast food places. You hear that McDonald's? I don't enjoy scrapping a pound of salt off each fry before consuming!

They played a wide variety of music over the loud speaker as Car-Hops buzzed in and out with smiling friendly service. Oh, and when I ordered the happy person taking my order proudly informed me that my total came to "only $5.99"!

It was a great experience and I will be back. Now I just have to buy a house that is closer to it so it won't be as long of a drive!

Random thoughts

2010-01-14T11:30:00.000-08:00

So, I realize I have not posted to this blog in quite some time. Some of you may have suspected that I have become seriously ill, or worse. However, the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

Having said that, I have no particular subject to rant about today, so here goes more of my infamous stream of consciousness rambling (read the title of this blog, not surprising, right?).

I am misunderstood...

I suspect all of us feel this way from time to time. You say something, and you get a totally surprising reaction. You think, what went wrong? How could I have been so misunderstood? This has happened to me more often than I care to admit lately, and it is a disturbing trend.

I have recently been called conceited, self righteous, cocky, and verbose (this last complaint usually lodged as "you use big words too much"). Some of these sting. Some are pretty accurate. Some are right on. I wonder though, how I can be so misunderstood?

I don't feel conceited. I can't imagine anyone would openly admit to being so. It's not a good thing, and if I ever felt conceited I would quickly change things around. So what is it that I am doing that causes this perception? Some have tried to explain that I am confident, and that sometimes can come off as conceited.

So, I have lately fretted endlessly about what I say and how I act. I am constantly in my own head trying to filter myself to prevent people from taking things the wrong way. This leads me to a maddening second guessing of myself with every move, and I have decided to say screw it! I am me, take it or leave it, as my wife always says. I hope that those who truly know me would understand that I am not cocky, I don't feel superior to those around me (ironically, it is usually the exact opposite) and I am not intentionally trying to sound smarter than my audience.

That leads us to the verbose problem. I have a fascination with words (see my reference to a Haberdashery early in this blogs infancy). Yes, maybe I am guilty of having a word of the day application on my home page, maybe I do read complicated books, maybe I do use words in my daily language that don't appear in the everyday mans' common vernacular (oooops, did it again). So what. It's not on purpose. I'm not trying to insult you by purposely using words that are over your head. I just enjoy communicating (your honor, the defense submits as exhibit A, this blog).

I use words that tickle my fancy. Words that I have heard, or read, or been fond of for some reason or another. Words that help me, at least in my mind, make my message clearer and more concise. For example, some say things like the apple don't fall far from the tree. I might say that the rosy fruit with seeded womb has succumb to the effects of newtons law, coming to rest not far from whence it came. Ok, maybe not, but I think you get my point. I just like to have fun with it.

There, how's that for a rant? Did I persuade you that I am indeed humble and not conceited, or did I make it worse? Oh well. As Theodor Seuss Geisel (A.K.A. Dr. Seuss) once said, ''those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

I hope the new year finds you happy and healthy!

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

Dear Mr. President, (no, not that one)

2009-09-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I may be alone on this one, but I hate when people wear other universities logos on our campus. Especially when it is a staff or faculty member! So, imagine my dismay when I opened a campus newsletter where there is a section highlighting the achievements of some faculty members, and in one of the photos a faculty member is wearing a University of Miami (FL) hat! (no offense to my FL friends and family).

I only have one dress code rule to my minions (students and staff who were unfortunate enough to draw me as their supervisor): No university logos other than ours!

This seems to happen all to often, so I went overboard and sent my rant in e-mail form to WMU's president, John M. Dunn. Too much? Maybe. You be the judge. Here is the letter and his response:

>>> 9/11/2009 10:28 AM >>>
Dr. Dunn,
I am a proud member of the WMU community as a full time staff
member of the University Libraries. I have been a staunch supporter
of our University since joining this community as a student in 1997.
I have seen some highs and lows on this campus in those many years,
and I feel like right now we are poised to shoot up to new heights.
Let me first say that I appreciate the job you have done since
taking over for the late great Deither H. Haenicke. Moral seems to
be up, the profile of the university is up, and things seem to be
heading in the right direction.

I have somewhat of an axe to grind and I am wondering if my topic
might be on your radar. My issue is with members of our WMU family
(students, staff, and faculty alike) wearing apparel from other
universities, especially while representing WMU to the greater
community. Case in point, when reading the Western News September 10
edition, I see on page three a nice paragraph highlighting the
achievements of one of our own faculty members, Mr. G. Micheal
Grammer. In the picture provided Mr. Grammer is wearing a hat from
the University of Miami (FL).

This strikes me as rather odd. If I worked for Pizza Hut, I
wouldn't show up wearing a Dominos hat. Not to mention that Pizza
Hut does not recruit employees in direct competition with Dominos. I
don't think that Mr. Grammer had ill intent while choosing his head
wear, and most of our WMU family don't even realize the implications
of wearing another universities logo. They may have grown up in a
household that lived for watching another universities football
team, or maybe a parent or sibling attends this other university.

However, I think it sends a bad message to our students when even
the faculty seem to hold other institutions above our own. I think
WMU tends to struggle with national recognition, branding, image,
and credit. We are a world class university, yet our logo is no more
recognizable to the world than that of a small town community
college.

It is my belief that a strong message of support for wearing and
promoting the WMU brand come from your office. I would also like to
see a policy that mandates all university employees wear only WMU
logo apparel while at work or representing WMU in public. Especially
printed materials such as news papers. Don't we offer free head
shots to all staff? Seems like Mr. Grammers picture was taken from
his facebook account.

I have also noticed a large number of freshman coming to campus
with their favorite university apparel. Again, there is nothing
wrong with supporting other universities, in fact we should partner
with them to strengthen our impact on society. I would however like
to see some sort of initiative to get students to buy into being a
Bronco. Some program that would encourage them to retire other
university wear. Maybe give a discount or a one for one trade for
Bronco gear. Turn in your UofM shirt, get a free Bronco shirt!
Promote us, and encourage esprit de corp at the same time.

I hope I don't come off as some curmudgeon, and I thank you for
taking the time to review my rant. If nothing else, I at least feel
better for having voiced my concern. I will share with you one final
observation. As I walked through Sangren Hall the other day I was
shocked to see a custodian dutifully mopping the floor while wearing
a Notre Dame hat. Should that not have been a Bronco hat?

Thank you, and keep up the good work!

--

Sincerely,
Randall S James

Server Administrator
University Libraries
Western Michigan University
o: (269) 387-5038
c: (269) 720-2312
Randall.James@wmich.edu

The response:

Randall:

Thank you for your note. I concur 100% with your comments.
Whenever I see one of our students wearing a hat or t-shirt from
another school, I stopped and kid them about "our place" and the
need to demonstrate pride. I also reinforce faculty and staff for
showing the "colors". Please be assured that I will continue to
do so.

Enjoy the weekend,

John

John M. Dunn
President
Western Michigan University
Office of the President
3065 Seibert Administration
Kalamazoo, MI 49008
Office: 269-387-2351
Fax: 269-387-2355
Email: john.dunn@wmich.edu

Not exactly a ringing endorsement of my harsh but needed policy, but hey, I'll take it. At least he agrees with me. Not that it will do much good, but I feel better about it!
Go Broncos!

By the way, we refer to the University of Miami followed by (FL) to designate it as the Hurricanes due to the University of Miami in Ohio. The latter being a school in our athletic conference. Not sure why the larger Miami institution needs the state designation, but that is the way they do it on ESPN, so it has to be correct...

Man Skillz

2009-07-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

A while back there was an article in Esquire by one of my favorite fiction/opinion authors Tom Chiarella (fiction editor for Esquire). It was called "The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master". It had some interesting things in it, some of which I know how to do, some not so much. Others were a little off the wall, and I think he was just going for entertainment or fluff to fill the "75".

Regardless, there are a few things that I have attempted to master in my life, and I shall spew a few tips and techniques here. Lets start with one of the manliest.

Man Skill #1: Working on cars
It is something that has always been a part of my life, wrenching on things in the garage with my dad. What could be more manly than trying to squeeze a few extra horses out of a 5.0 liter engine? *Manly grunting sound*. Now, it is not really all that necessary for every man to be able to correctly adjust the timing on a 1968 Windsor small block 302, or to know that most of those engines were actually built in Cleveland, OH. It is however, in my humble opinion, necessary for every man to know how to do general maintenance on their vehicle.

Change the air filter, don't let the quick oil change shop charge you $20 to replace a $5 filter. For that matter, change the oil yourself. Top off the fluids, rotate the tires, change a flat tire. These are the bare minimums of auto ownership. Personally, I replace brake pads, dead fuel pumps (in and out of the tank), serpentine belts, alternators and more.

Man skill #2: Master the grill
This is crucial. Say you are having a party and everyone is hanging out, getting hungrier by the minute. You fire up the grill and nervously stack the meat, wondering if it will turn out more like shoe leather than a juicy, delicious, tender steak. Poking at the meat until it seems "done enough", you pull it off too early or too late. Not good.

To grill the perfect steak is more art than science, but it is something that can be mastered with practice. Here is how I do it: Start with good meat. A nice marinade or grilling salt will help as well. Heat the grill as hot as it can get. Pop the steak on and let the grill sear the meat. This will lock in the juices. Let it sit for about 30 seconds, then give it a 1/4 turn. This will give it the "x" style professional grill marks. Flip and repeat. Next, turn the heat down and slowly cook the steaks. Roughly five minutes per side, depending on how done you want it and thickness of the steak. Do not poke, smush, or mutilate the meat in any fashion. Close the lid! "If you're looking, you ain't cookin!" They make handy thermometers that will tell you internal temp and how done it is. To see my last article on grilling, which subsequently prompted my dad to get me a meat thermometer, look in the archives for the post entitled "Americana" or click here:

Man Skill #3: Tie a tie
This may sound simple, but it goes a long way when dressing to impress. There are several types of knots you can choose from, and styles have varied greatly over the years. Recently the wide knots style like the Windsor or my personal favorite the Four in Hand have made a comeback. Please don't tie a skinny tie, wear a piano keyboard design, or use a clip on. To learn the Windsor, click here:

Man Skill #4: Kill spiders
Man up. This is our job fellas. I know some people that freak out when confronted by a spider...Ehhhhmmm, names withheld to protect the innocent. Granted, no one really wants to get bug guts all over, but however you do it you will be considered a hero to those in the room. My personal favorite is the quick and deadly approach. Grab a tissue to keep it clean and save those around you from the horror of spider juice on the wall. Move swiftly and directly. Catch the spider and smash it. Be sure not to let it escape as this will cause pandemonium. Remove the spider from the room ASAP.

Man Skill #5: Start a fire with twigs and a Bic
Nothing is more manly than the ability to start a blazing camp fire with out assistance from what my dad calls boyscout fire starter fluid (usually gasoline or lighter fluid). Find small dry twigs and snap them up into a pile on top of some dry grass or pine needles (these will take off fast and easy, but won't burn for long). Build a tee-pee of small dry sticks around that, making sure that the flames from the twigs will reach the larger wood. This allows for the three main elements of fire; air, heat, and fuel, to thrive. Light the grass and twigs and gently blow on them until they are burning without help. Continue to feed it more twigs and grass until the sticks begin burning. Progressively add larger sticks and logs to the tee-pee until you have a large enough fire to not need constant attention.
Optional: Bust out the guitar and sing kumbaya. Loads of fun, just add beer.

Now I know that this article might come off as sexist. I am not suggesting that any of these things could not or should not be done by women. In fact, my wife could probably tell you more about your car than I can. However, limiting and sexist as it may sound, I still feel like these things fall mostly on the mans shoulders, and to be a mans man, these are skills you should master. If you don't already know all of these things, put the purse down and man up!

Location: Happily ever after

2009-06-26T21:31:00.001-07:00

So I realize I have become a bit fixated on sappy love and happiness stuff of late, but it tends to be at the forefront of my conscience.Today marks the 5 year anniversary of our wedded lives so I am feeling sappy and nostalgic. Deal with it!

I continue to be amazed at the phenomenon that I have touched on previously. That being that no matter how 'on top of it' or 'in touch' you think you are, life has a funny way of showing you that you haven't got a clue.

When I look back at my relationship with my wife I am impressed with how it grows. Five years is sort of modest, yet in one sense it is also pretty impressive (given the divorce rate and quickie marriages).

I love how strong our bond is, and even though we have been together for 8 years (3 dating, 1 engaged, 5 married) we still love to spend time together.We are blessed to be best friends as well as partners. Seems like even given the vast amount of time spent together we can still come up with things to do and talk about. However, there are still things about my wife I may never know or understand.

If someone were to ask me, and I know you didn't, 'what's the secret to a happy marriage post honeymoon phase?' I would say a big part of it is this: effort. Both have to be willing to put in the work. You have to try hard to keep things fresh and interesting. Don't be afraid to try new things, reach out, demand the best, and most importantly know what you want and expect.

Anyone who read my semi-auto biography knows that years ago I learned it is impossible to be part of a successful couple until you can be a successful you. Until you know who you are.

All couples eb and flow. We have our ups and downs, and raising a daughter, while incredibly rewarding and worthwhile, makes it infinitely harder. But in those struggles you are reminded of what is most important to you and you work that much harder. Push for better.

I guess what I am saying is nothing goes according to plan. Even the best laid plans of mice and men go astray as John Steinbeck would remind us. But if you are willing to work hard you can end up with more than you ever dreamed possible.

A big key to a marriage is the ability to sit and talk for hours about nothing...or sit for hours and not talk. You each need to have your own interests and be able to just be content by being together.

I am no expert, and even though my wife calls me 'Dr. Phil' I am just drawing conclusions and sharing what is on my mind.

I can assure you though that no matter who you are, or what length relationship you are in, success starts with you. Resolve today to strive for more, it is never too late and you deserve it!

(Editors note: This was written at a bar after drinks with no spell check on a cell phone. Take it for what its worth!)

Randomness

2009-06-04T09:55:00.001-07:00

Well, I have been certainly peppering this blog with posts lately. Seems I have renewed my zest. Here are a couple of thoughts I have this morning, in no particular order:

Jon & Kate + 8 = Does not add up. I am so sick of hearing about this family. At least they have taken the nations eyes off of the Octomom for a minute, but stop peppering me with the 'Drama' of the supposedly failing marriage between two people that never seemed to like each other very much anyway. Seriously, have you ever seen them? He is a bumbling idiot, and she has very little tolerance for him.

Now here is my problem, they are crying that the TV show is ruining their lives and invading their privacy. What? You seemed happy as a clam to let them in when the marriage was 'working' and don't tell me the $70k per episode they are paying you is not helping you swallow this bitter pill. By my count, they are well into the $4 million dollar range already, enough to end the show and raise all 8 kids comfortably for the rest of their lives.

It always grinds me when b-list, reality 'star' celebs start crying that their shows are ruining their lives. What did you expect? Having even one child puts a strain on even the strongest relationships, let alone multiple sets of multiples. Now you want to toss in some cameras and allow the world to watch? Have you never seen another reality show and how messed up the people are after it ends? Smells of greed and made up drama to me. Did I mention that the season premier drew a record audience once people heard that Jon was supposedly stepping out on poor Kate? Hmmmmm.....

If you really care, end the show, kick out the cameras and heal the wounds of your relationship. As always, my biggest concern with these types is that they are hurting the kids by being so reckless, but luckily these kids are young enough and seem to be enjoying themselves so there should not be any long term pain. That is unless the couple splits...divorce can get ugly. Who gets the 16 passenger van?

Next, I see that President Barrack Obama has made an appeal to the Muslim world to 'Start over'. He suggests that people the world over stand up and confront the radical extremists. While I applaud the president in his efforts, and I believe we really need some world collaboration against terror, I just don't see any sort of peaceful or short end to this problem.

The biggest issue is this; the terrorists are not asking for anything. That's right, they don't want land, they don't want money, they don't even want an apology. They just want to kill all infidels. How do you 'confront' that? What do you say to someone who has repeatedly demonstrated a willingness to kill you and or die trying? Confronting them is a good way to get dead, and getting dead will seriously hamper your efforts to end terrorism. Seems to me the only way to handle them is with the business end of a stealth drone aircraft armed with smart stingers...

Ah ha! Therein lies the problem then! When we kill them, we stoop to their level and prove their point. Our aggression only serves to strengthen their resolve and bolster their recruiting. This needs to be a smart war waged with diplomatic cunning and economic crushings (ie; cut off the money supply to the terrorists).

I do think that most people have incorrectly and unfairly labeled the Muslim world. It is not the Muslims as a whole who are doing this, but a relatively small subset of militant extremists devoid of logic and compassion. Don't judge the group based on the actions of a few.

I wish our Prez the best of luck, but he has a tall order.

...cold drink in hand

2009-06-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

Part II of our vacation...

We hit Ft. Lauderdale beach at night for some drinks on the beach. While driving down the avenue before dark I remarked how it was too bad we would not be seeing a sunset. Kristy remarked something to the effect that it was too cloudy to see the sunset, knowing full well of course that the sun sets in the west and we were on the east coast, but it was too late. Kristy's gaffe was cemented. "Why is it we can't see a sunset on the east coast again Kristy?"

As we sat enjoying a cool breeze and some drinks, I mentioned the buoy at the edge of the swimming area was a nice touch. Chris corrected me and let me know that it was not a buoy, but a diving flag marking the spot where a diver was under the waves. I looked again and let him know I sure thought it looked like a buoy, but he insisted and I deferred to him given his status as a local.

The next day we hit Ft. Lauderdale beach for some fun in the sun. We took the water taxi on the intercoastal waterway and got off at Fat Tuesdays. The trip down the intercoastal was surreal. There were houses that were just redicerous. Some in the $100 million range. Our tour guide ticked off the listing prices and history of the area, not to mention the litany of famous people who owned them. Then there were the yahcts. Don't even get me started! One was a $14 mil ship given to a daughter as her 16th birthday present. We noticed a “for sale” sign on it, and just up the way was her new $30 mil beast. Seems the first was just not big enough. Chris at this point was actually starting to get mad. He kept saying, "look at that freaking house", only he didn't say "Freakin" (sorry, this is a family show).

So there we sat on the deck of Fat Tuesdays, overlooking A1A and counting the number of $70k and up cars that drove by. As Brandie glanced out over the water, guess what she saw? The diving flag turned out to be a buoy! We had some fun at Chris's expense for a while on this one! Gaffe number 2 for Chris...

After losing count of the expensive cars because there were too many to keep track of (seriously, I think Ft. Lauderdale has the largest amount of high priced cars per capita in the world), we headed down the beach to the world famous Elbow Room. I headed down to the beach and stuck my toes in the ocean. Can you believe I was the only one from our group to do that?

We had dinner at a couple of great restaurants, one was an Italian place called Buchas. This place was awesome! They took us through the kitchen on our way to our table (there was a table right in the kitchen as well, just in case you wanted to watch them make your dinner). The portions were massive. They had a "regular" and a "large" and it tells you right on the menu that regular feeds two and large feeds four. They were not kidding. I kept calling the place Bohica's which is an acronym for Bend Over Here It Comes Again.

The rest of the week was filled with relaxation by the pool, more fantastic meals at great restaurants and good times with good friends. Sadly, all good things must come to an end, so we boarded our plane and headed for Michigan. We were sad to leave, but looking forward to getting home to see our precious baby girl.

So, while I think that Ft. Lauderdale is the strip mall capital of the world, and the pace of life is a little faster than I would like, they make a strong case for being one of my favorite places in the world. Not quite ready to leave my beloved four seasons behind just yet, but you never know what the future holds.

Oh, and I bet I committed a verbal gaffe at some point, but that is the power of being the blogger, I don't have to remember what I did wrong! Also, Chris who normally does not get caught with many gaffes committed a record three whoppers this week. The crown jewel came when I was explaining what happens when I drink too much caffeine, I get heart palpitations. To which Chris responded, "You have a virgin baby circulatory system!" What? To be fair, he meant it to have a pause between virgin and baby, clearly not intending to link virginity to babies, but that did not stop us from ripping him for this one. So, virgins have week hearts huh?

Thanks so much Chris and Brandie for having us, and for the grandparents who split time taking care of our kids as well as the siblings who looked after pets. We had a blast, and hope to be back again soon!

Toes in the sand...

2009-06-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago my wife and I had the privilege of visiting South Florida, and seeing some good friends of ours. Chris and Brandie are renting a nice little bungalow just outside of Ft. Lauderdale while they get re-acclimated to the area and look for a place to call their own.

These are our good friends who had moved to West Michigan for three years to be with his family and opened two franchise sandwich shops. Things did not work out, and they were sort of left holding the bag, so they moved back to where they belonged, close to family and out of the cold (lucky for us we get to visit!).

Here is part I of our week long visit:

It was so good to catch up with our friends and see a part of the state we had never been to, south and east. Man was it beautiful! The trip started with Brandie giving us a tour of the famous highway A1A, A.K.A. Beach Front Avenue (this is a line in one of Kristy's favorite rap songs from Vanilla Ice called "Ice Ice Baby"--That block was dead Yo, so I continued to a1a beachfront ave. We sang that the rest of the week).

We almost died twice in traffic, but were saved by Brandies expert South FL driving skills. People are crazy down there! We also noticed that there were no parking spots to be had, so we hit up one of Chris's favorite spots called Ricky's and had some wings and a cold beverage.

That night we got to see the restaurant that Chris manages called Anthony's Coal Fire Pizza. I highly recommend it! Great wings and pizza with a high class atmosphere at a budget friendly price.
http://www.anthonyscoalfiredpizza.com/
After he got home we went to a bar called Big Dawgs where the girls had something that resembled nachos...blech.

The next day we were up early and off to see the Keys. Man what a beautiful place. The ride down was long, but entertaining as we started in with our usual catching of each other in verbal gaffes (the most infamous and perhaps the one that started our obsession with teasing each other for gaffes was the first one ever two years ago. It was Brandie and it involved Bill Parcels, but it is not fit to print here). Chris was the first one caught. As he excitedly chronicled the history of the Key's he began to tell us how at least 50 presidents had visited. There was a moment of silence, then Kristy nailed him, "Uh, Chris, isn't Obama the 44th president?" The rest of the trip was filled with, "This is nice, and I’ll bet all 50 presidents enjoyed it!"

The houses were amazing, the atmosphere laid back, the water the most gorgeous colors of blues and greens I have ever seen (that includes Cancun, Jamaica, North Carolina and other parts of Florida). Our first stop was at Kokomo, as the Beach Boys would tell you, "In the Florida Keys, there's a place called Kokomo. That's where we wanna go, to get away from it all."

It was "Bartenders Bash", a sort of spring break for the service industry people who were working serving drinks to the spring breakers a couple weeks before. There were painted on bathing suits, beads, sun and sand. What a way to unwind. The free beer stopped flowing early, so we "Kept on pursuing to the next stop", Key West!

What can I say about Key West? Well, Chris put it this way; it's like New Orleans without the smell. I have never been to NOLA, so I will defer to Chris, but man is this a great place. Duval St was the place to be. All of the bars had an open air feel, there was music being played by guys with guitars, the drinks were flowing, and the sun was shining. We had conch fritters and peel-n-eat shrimp at our first stop, Sloppy Joe's. Mmmmm delish!

As we were leaving I still had a beer in my hand. Not knowing the rules I thought I would head for the door and see what would happen. Sure enough, somebody stopped me. As I started to hand my beer over the man at the door stuck out a plastic cup. "Here is a cup to take your beer to go!" What? I think I love this place!

We wandered around, drinking beer, swapping stories, smoking cigars, and just having a blast. When we strolled into Rick's Cafe there was a man on stage with an acoustic guitar, and I headed straight for him. I negotiated my way on stage, but he would not let me play his guitar (he said it was a $9k instrument, so I don't blame him). I settled for singing while he played Jimmy Buffets Margaritaville, a classic favorite of my friends. When I was done he pointed out the live webcam feed and some viewers online were leaving flattering messages about my singing. Felt pretty good.

There we met a local named Andy. He was born in Key West, covered in hair and full of stories. He was a ladies’ man who told us about his most recent wife while hitting on the bar tender. What a guy.

We had a fantastic dinner out on the deck at Fogerty's. I had the freshest grouper I have ever tasted (ok, it was the first taste of grouper, but it was fresh!) and Chris insisted we try the key lime pie. That's good pie!

Later we stumbled into the Lazy Gecko where people were watching hockey and another guy was playing guitar. Almost immediately my friends informed him that I play guitar, and it was not long before I was on the stool in front of the mic. Someone shouted a request for House of the Rising Sun, so I started playing Margaritavile. At the end of a long day of drinking I could not remember anything else, so that was the end of my brief career as a performer in Key West.

The next morning we got a tip for a great little place to have breakfast. It was a little shack that had been around since the turn of the century, and yes, I bet all 50 presidents had breakfast there. The decor was eclectic, the food greasy spoon, and it was fantastic! We had mimosas to go with our omelets and corned beef hash.
After breakfast we hit the southernmost point of the continental U.S. for a photo op, did some shopping, and hit the road back home. What a great time.

Our begrudging departure from the Key's next...

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Happily Ever After...Part III

2009-06-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

We continue with the series of my semi-auto biographical memoir-ish story of my life as I recall it...

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Happily Ever After

Part III:

We were all hanging out at the girls' favorite spot, the pool hall known as Ques-n-Brews. On the way back to the apartment, we were sitting in the back seat together, and she put her hand on my knee. Subtle, I know. But it was huge to me. I had been playing it cool, not wanting to push and scare her off, and not wanting to end up with just another empty relationship. It turns out, that was the only way this would have happened.

One night early on in the relationship, Kristy had made it clear to me what she thought of men. It was not pretty. I wanted to crawl into a hole, after first apologizing on behalf of my sex...morons. It seems that she had been through quite a lot of creeps, idiots, and downright jerks on her journey to me. I already looked great in comparison, but it was clear that she was not ready to have another relationship.

She was nothing like anyone I had ever met. She held a power over me so great that I would have back stroked my way across Lake Michigan just to spend five minutes with her. I was fascinated by her, and in awe of her intelligence. She had the world so figured out. She knew what she was all about.

Suddenly I had a reason to straighten myself out. I wanted to be with her, but I knew there was no way she would give me a second thought if I didn’t make some changes. I had to get a job, figure out this debt problem, and stop acting like a fool. Most importantly, I had to decide who I was as a person. What my values were.

Our first official date happened in May of 2001. I was back in Adrian visiting my folks over at my Aunt and Uncles house, Lonnie and Jim. I called Kristy and told her I was going to be passing by her place and wondered if she would like to hang out. This phone call brought much amusement to my family and they gave me the obligatory, “Oooooh, Randy has a date!” tease.

It was a double date of sorts, with my wife’s best friend and her brother who was in town from Penn St. I met everyone in my wife’s Battle Creek apartment. We went mini golfing and had lunch at the Big Boy on the corner. I was still playing it safe and not pushing things. I think she started to wonder if I would ever make a move. This would be evident on the next visit.

I visited her at her apartment a while later and it was starting to become obvious that there was interest on both sides, but again I was playing it safe. I had already gained so much from an intellectual sense and I did not want to screw anything up. As I was getting ready to say goodbye and head to Kalamazoo, Kristy asked me what I was waiting for.

We stood at my car in the parking lot of her apartment and I started to get in when she looked at me and sort of nonchalantly said, “So, are you ever going to kiss me or what?” I could not back down now, but I was nervous after being put on the spot. I leaned over to kiss her, gave her a sort of peck on the lips, the kind normally reserved for relatives, then I climbed in my car and sped off.

“You idiot!” I thought to myself on the drive home. I knew I had just blown it. No way would she be interested in me now.

Let me get back to a concept I touched on earlier. I was feeling down about myself and I had just ended my engagement, although I had not really a clear idea as to why. Something told me it was the right thing for me to do, but if someone wanted a quick one line explanation, I could not have given it to them.

Things were fine on the surface. We got along well. No fighting to speak of. Yet, something was stirring within me. I was about to commit the rest of my life to this woman, and I needed to be sure that was what I wanted. I didn’t want to lose her, but I was never completely sure that I wanted to be with her. I owed her for helping me out of my shell, but something just felt off.

Throughout my life I had always done what other people told me I should do. Most of my childhood was spent doing anything I could to please loved ones. I hardly ever got out of line. Sure, I had a problem focusing in school sometimes, but I was a kid. When I met Hollie, I was all too eager to please.

If she wanted to go somewhere I went. If she wanted us to buy something, we bought it. If there was a party…you get the idea. I had to perfect the art of excuses and sometimes downright lies to my parents in an effort to keep up with her. Later my brother would describe this syndrome as being “hooked on the cat”.

Naturally, when Hollie decided it was time that we got married, I was all too happy to go along with it. Granted, I had some reservations, but she soon overcame those. More like, beat me into submission with endless talk and visits to the jewelry store to pick out the ring. So one day, I just bought it. Right there in the mall, just outside of Zales Jewlers, I got on one knee and asked her to marry me. That ought to buy me some time I thought.

We began the tour. Visiting everyone we knew to show off the ring. I remember clearly when we caught up with my parents eating lunch with Uncle Jim and Aunt Lonnie in a pub called “Mr. Ed’s” in downtown Adrian.

“We have an announcement” I said. There was a large deep breath in and a long pause of dead silence. The look on my parents face was one of disguised shock. You could sort of read their thoughts. “Were smiling so you know we are happy for you, but what are you doing?”

Aunt Lonnie was the first to break the silence. She stood up and hugged us both. We sat down and finished the meal with them. Something just felt wrong to me, but I did not know what it was. Still, I felt like there was a long time between the ring and the isle, so I would figure out what was bothering me in due time.

At this point, I came to two distinct conclusions. The first was made clear that next summer when I was back from college working for a government funded youth work skills training program. A girl with a short skirt had caught my eye. I resisted as much as I could, not wanting to hurt my fiancé, but I longed to experience what life had to offer. I am not proud of myself, but I just had to investigate further. Soon I became the type of person I detested. I was sneaking out at night to meet this new girl. I could not help myself. I never slept with her, although I wanted to.

The second thing was me. I did not know who I was outside of my relationship with Hollie. I had supplanted other people’s values and desires for my own. I never really sat and thought, “What do I want out of life?” Once I did that, I knew that I needed to distance myself from her if I was ever going to find an answer.

It was a tough transition to make. I hated to hurt her, but I had to find out who I was. Maybe my future did involve her, and if it did then I would end up back with her. If it didn’t, then I would have been doing her, myself and our families a huge disservice by staying put and preparing for a wedding I did not even really want.

So, that fall, as we drove back to Western with our belongings in tow, I told Hollie it was over...

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Happily Ever After...Part II

2009-05-07T14:00:00.001-07:00

We continue with the series of my semi-auto biographical memoir-ish story of my life as I recall it...

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Happily Ever After...

Part II:

I was jobless, penniless, a college dropout with a mountain of debt, and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life when she walked into that bowling alley. I looked over my pitcher of beer and nearly choked. There was the woman I was going to marry.

Now I won't pretend that I knew that right away. I don't think anyone is really clairvoyant enough to take one glance at someone and just "know". After all, just a few years earlier I "knew" who I was going to marry. Let's just say I had an intense feeling that something was different, special even, with this one.

That is not to say that she felt the same way about me. As I said, I was a drunk, broke, jobless drop out without much appeal when I chugged that last bit of liquid courage and dropped myself on the stool next to her. What happened next would change my life forever.

She had been invited to this bowling party as a friend of a friend of a co-worker of mine. I had already met Jen, my wife’s best friend, and this was the only “in” I needed. As I made my way over to the girls, I pretended not to have an agenda. I was merely there to be friendly to someone I had met before and to introduce myself to her guest. They must have been able to see right through that.

There was this one problem, aside from the previously stated lack of qualifications; I was there with my stalker girlfriend. I quite literally dumped her on the spot; she had been sitting on my lap. When I broke the ice with the new girl she responded, "Isn't that your girlfriend over there?”

Awkward.

Not one to be phased by such insignificant details, I replied, "Who her? Oh, I was planning on breaking up with her."

This was mostly true, as I had just that week had my epiphany that I was through pretending to be someone I was not, and letting stalker girl down easy was something I just hadn’t finished puzzling out. At that very moment a saving grace came blasting over the crackling overhead speakers. It was the "Casper Slide, part II", and I knew all of the moves. I grabbed my future wife by the hand and insisted that she join me to shake what her momma gave her.

We danced, we laughed, and I made a complete fool of myself. Then a higher power intervened and she actually gave me her phone number; which I promptly lost. My roommate and I were off to another party, and I thought that I may never see this beautiful woman again.

A week later I was using my roommates phone when I came across a name that shot trough me like a lightning bolt. Christie. I would later find out that I had not even been close to spelling the name correctly, but this solved the mystery as to why I could not find her number. I had picked up my roommates phone on accident when she was giving it to me at the bowling alley that night.

Right away I tried to come up with a good reason that we should hang out. The answer became all too clear; I had to get them all to come to Karaoke. See, I was sort of a regular at the local bar. I loved to sing, not to say I could sing well, but there were always good times to be had by all when we hung out a Harpo's. Later we would change hang outs due to what my wife lovingly refers to as the tramps that were frequenting the establishment. That, and the place was robbed one Sunday and the custodian was shot and killed. That will put a damper in any hang out.

They came over, I played guitar a little, and we went to the club where we sang Karaoke all night. After the bar closed we went to a friend of mines apartment for a couple drinks. It was a bit stuffy in the apartment, so Kristy and I went outside. There we sat on the steps until 4am, trading stories about childhood, friends, and work. It was great. We could still be sitting there right now, talking away. We had such a great connection. I was terrified.

When she tells this story she always says that was the night she stopped thinking of me as just some guy that was fun to hang out with, and started to think of me as someone she wanted to be with. I say that connection didn't really set in for me until one night in the back seat of her best friend’s car, although not like you might think. Let me explain...

(To be continued...)

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Happily Ever After...

2009-04-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

A while back I was inspired to write a bit about my life. This is what sort of spurred me on to create this blog. I sometimes feel torn about posting certain things, often wondering if it is worth reading or if it will cause me to be ridiculed, pitied, or laughed at, so it was tucked away...

Today I was digging through some old files and I came across that original text. It is rough and unfinished, as well as too long to post in one blog. However, I think it has some redeeming factors to it and thought maybe I could post it in a series, a la Charles Dickens, so here it is.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Happily Ever After...

Part I:

It seems strange now when I look back on it.

There I was, a fresh faced 18 year old kid. I knew so many things about the world. I knew that I was going to marry my high school sweet heart. I knew I was going to graduate from college in four years. I knew I would have a successful career as a Mechanical Engineer, and that money would never be a problem for me from that point forward. Jobs were plentiful and the economy was strong, so I knew there were easy times ahead. The promise of a house with a picket fence, a beautiful wife, 2.3 kids and a dog was just waiting to be handed to me. I had the whole world figured out. What could possibly go wrong?

It all started when I was 16. I was just coming out of my shell when one fateful summer I joined a friend of mine on a trip to Cedar Point, an amusement park in Ohio. We were in line for an old wooden coaster called the Blue Streak when I met her. She was bubbly and had a big smile, I was hooked.

After talking a bit we discovered that we lived a mere twenty minutes from each other back in MI. We exchanged phone numbers and went our separate ways, not knowing if we would ever meet again. Four years later, I was ending our engagement and striking out on my own…but I am getting ahead of myself.

Let’s back track to the early teen years. When I was coming up through the ranks in school, I had demonstrated a knack for math and science. I was by no means a genius, but it seemed to come naturally to me. In middle school I was chosen to be on our math and science Olympiad team, and we competed in a contest to build an egg catching device. Everyone was excited about my achievements, and it was largely assumed that I would go on to college and study some sort of science discipline.

I was sure that was the right path for me, but I was a relatively naive and sheltered young man. How can one be expected to plot their future at such an inexperienced and impressionable age? There were good people along the way who helped me out, and I think I ultimately made the right choice, but I didn’t really have a clue back then. I chose to attend Western Michigan University, with designs on becoming a Mechanical Engineer. It sure didn’t hurt that someone I met two years before in Ohio had also chosen WMU.

Strangely enough I had no idea what a Mechanical Engineer did, yet I was pretty convinced that was what I was going to be. After all, everyone always said I was good at figuring out how things work. I always assumed an ME got to build things with their hands. You know, erector set play time that eventually ended up creating a new machine design that would revolutionize production and change the world as we know it. Turns out, it doesn't quite work like that.

I finished school; although it was nothing like I knew it would be ten years ago. I have a Bachelors degree in Business Administration, focusing on Computer Information Systems. What does that mean? Well, it is nothing remotely close to an ME. Turns out, Engineers don't really build things. They theorize, test, suggest and work in a virtual world. Not for me. Plus, I had become depressed, withdrawn from my academics, and I was no longer willing to put in the time to learn how to calculate the definite integral (the area under the curve) of the trajectory path created when someone throws a rock off of a cliff.

Menagarie: Part Deux

2009-04-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since the mood has struck me to ramble. I often find myself coming across a topic that I might "burn" on, and discarding it. In my mind I am always my toughest critic, and I compare my potential new post to the most responded to blogs of the past and it never seems to stack up. I guess I should stop worrying and just write. This is why I do not work for the Times or something...

I also noticed a trend to worry about spelling/grammar/accuracy. Many of my ramblings deal with others inability to find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flash light. Now I fret over every line I type and it takes way too long to put out a simple article. Then, inevitably I post what I think is a polished rant that has been gone over for hours, only to notice a glaring mistake after I click "Publish Post". Oh well, I guess it is what it is, and my opening disclaimer for this blog is that I am not an expert. Never claimed to be. I try to follow the proverb of, "Don't throw stones if you live in a glass house", but it is just too much fun to point out things like, "Are credit card machine is broken and We apologize for that!" So, my grammar is broken, and I apologize for that.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone out there is still reading what I ramble (this is not a shameless attempt to get you to write me, just an observation). Then, I will pass someone randomly in the hall at work or hear someone mention my blog to someone else and it reminds me that people are watching. Facebook is the same way. I often run into a co-worker or friend on campus that I don't see that often who will comment on some aspect of my private life that I know I have not spoken to them about. It will take a second, then it will hit me. They see the pictures online. So, remember, someone is always watching.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=cr-socialnetowrking040709&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

In that vein, I rambled a while back about the use of Facebook as a discovery tool when interviewing a potential employee. Now it seems that this technique has been taken to the next level. Charles Robinson of Yahoo Sports reports that NFL teams have taken to setting up fake profiles and befriending unsuspecting draft hopefuls in an effort to get a one of a kind in depth look into the private personal life of the young man they are about to invest millions in. I am a bit surprised at the fake profile tactic, seems a bit underhanded to me, but I don't blame them for wanting to protect their investments. Also, if the player is dumb enough to post a picture of himself with a spread of money and drugs, well then I have no sympathy for him. The moral of this story? Don't put anything on the web you would not bring to a job interview.

Observation: A computer is like a child. I am learning Linux (an operating system such as Windows or Mac) I am amazed at how often I forget that a computer is not capable of inferring intent from your command. I type something that makes sense to me, looking at the object I am referring to right in front of me on the screen. For some reason I am amazed that the computer has no idea what I mean! Then I realize, you have to be very explicit. This reminds me of something a parent would feel when asking a child to do something. How often has a parent given what they thought were reasonable instructions to a child such as load the washing machine? Later the parent enters the laundry room to find a full washer of dry, dirty clothes. If you do not specify to the child that you intend for them to add detergent and start the spin cycle you should be prepared for getting exactly what you asked for. I remember once when my brother and I were younger, my dad told us to go "hop" in the truck and he would be along shortly. When he arrived at his drivers door he noticed the vehicle bouncing wildly. As he stuck his head inside he found us complying to his request, literally hoping up and down in the truck. Priceless...

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

They're out to get me!

2009-03-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

Call it Murphy's Law, call it bad luck, call it whatever you want, but the world is out to get me...

This has been a trend I have been observing for quite some time, and I have developed a theory. Today, after having the conspiring custodial staff yet again close the restroom for cleaning as I was approaching, I think that my theory holds some weight.

It seems that every time I exit my office and head in the direction of the rest room (clear on the other side of the building by the way, which is really inconvenient) the custodians close it for cleaning. This is not a coincidence folks.

Here is what I think is happening. There is a custodial spy stationed somewhere in the book stacks outside of my office (a clever ninja trained in the art of disguise as I have been unable to locate this person). When said spy sees me exit my office they radio to the waiting team near the men's room:

"Sanitaion-1, this is Mop&Bucket. The Eagle has flown the nest. I repeat, the Eagle has flown the nest. Commence operation restroom closed!"

They used to do such a good job of coordination that they had all restrooms closed at the same time, on all four floors. Wow! That level of dedication to ruining my morning is just unheard of! We have since requested that they only clean one at a time, which only makes sense if you ask me.

Now I know some of you are thinking, well that is just one example. Maybe you think I am overreacting...Well to that I offer this. When I was working retail sales, customers would conspire against me so that I could not eat my lunch! Yup, you heard me (or rather, read me?). They had a similar setup to the ninja-custodian team.

Every day it would be quiet as can be, very few customers. Then, I calmly approach the microwave to insert my lunch, and no sooner does the whir of the microwave begin, and radiation starts to soak into my frozen processed lunch when, "Ding!" A customer! Imagine that. Then another followed by another and you get the point. Soon enough my lunch has undergone physical state changes from solid to liquid, to something in between. Yuck!

I know these people are all calmly waiting in their parked cars, peering through binoculars to see me walk toward the microwave, and giving the all clear over their military issue walkie-talkies, sending a steady flow of people through the door for the next two hours.

Not enough evidence for you? Well, how is it that every time I get in line at the grocery store, there just happens to be someone in line in front of me paying with a check after asking for a price check on some random item they thought was marked $0.20 less than it rang in at?

I suppose you expect me to believe that the people driving 10 mph under the speed limit in front of me WHENEVER I am late is also a coincidence? Humph. I don't believe it.

So I ask you, what have I done to the universe to deserve such treatment? Please tell me so I can right my cosmic wrongs!

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

We lost a good one...

2009-02-26T08:19:00.000-08:00

Diether Haenicke
1935-2009

http://www.wwmt.com/video/index.php?bcpid=1111405973&bclid=1137706675&bctid=14197598001

This is a clip of my Dean talking about the late great Diether Haenicke, former WMU president who passed away recently. They are holding a memorial service for him on campus today.

Diether was in his 70's, and had been in poor health for some time. His original retirement from WMU was due in part to heart problems. He agreed graciously to interim when his predecessors failed to live up to his high standards. After the current president, Dr. John Dunn, was brought in, Diether remained close giving lectures and teaching. It was during his last lecture that he had a heart attack, causing him to fall and hit his head. He never fully recovered from his injury.

As Dean Reish points out, Diether left his imprint all over campus. He was a fierce advocate of the arts, library, and humanities (particularly foreign relations given he was German). There are several buildings and programs that exist as a direct result of his work, and one is named after him.

I personally had the pleasure of meeting Deither a couple of times here at the library. He called me "an important man to know" given that I was part of his IT support team. Although he was small in stature, he was a giant among his peers. He wrote a weekly editorial for the Kalamazoo Gazette, and was published in several other media.

Diether was president when I first became a student at Western. He retired before I graduated, and there was a noticeable absence of leadership and direction on campus. Elson Floyd, Diether's successor, left WMU for what he considered a better opportunity, and next in line president Judy Bailey was fired for poor performance (there were rumors of inappropriate actions with young co-eds by her husband, who also had a drinking problem. He frequently was given rides home from various drinking establishments by WMU police).

When I joined the staff here under Bailey, things were very lax. Enrollment was down. Moral was low. We were infighting amongst the staff and faculty. When Baily was fired, Diether came back as interim president while we searched for, and ultimately found our new president in Dr. Dunn.

Immediately there was a renewed spirit when Diether arrived. He put out policies, initiated a new add campaign for recruiting, gave the staff a much needed raise (albeit a small one), and righted the ship. Now enrollment is up, moral is high, and we are back on track.

So we owe Dr. Haenicke a deep gratitude for what he did for us. He is gone but not forgotten.

RIP Diether.

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

Is our children learning?

2009-02-26T07:15:00.000-08:00

Is our children learning?
(The famous blooper from then President George W. Bush)

The answer might be a resounding no...

I am a big fan of the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar (or SPOGG for short). They have a great blog at http://grammatically.blogspot.com/.

Seems a Wendy's employee made the following sign, and I quote:
"Are credit card machine is not working and We apologize for that."

First of all, "Are" you sure that "Our" credit card machine is really broken? Furthermore, what happened to your punctuation? Did "and" suddenly replace the period? I must have missed the memo on that one...

It really bugs me when simple statements like this can be butchered to this extent. Not that I am the God of grammar, and no one died and left me in charge of policing peoples postings, but come on! Doesn't this just speak volumes to the state of our educational system today? So sad...

By the way, if I made any grammatical errors on this post, I total recant the whole thing...

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

A Picute is Worth a Thousand Words

2009-02-19T18:01:00.000-08:00

I just came across a post that I never finished. As I wrote it I began the process every good journalist (remember, I am not a journalist, I just play one on the web) should do; fact checks.

I was disturbed to find out that the humorous tales I learned in my business classes at WMU were either completely false, or at least under suspicion. *sigh* Can't anything be on the up and up any more? Not that I want to live in Mayberry with Sheriff Taylor, but come on people! A little straight forwardness and honesty, is that too much to ask? But I digress...

Point is, I liked my original idea for a story, and who can resist an opportunity to brag about their kids? The "business tales" I will leave for you to decide.

8/27/2008 I wrote:
______________________________________________________

A colleague of mine was commenting on this great picture we have of our five month old daughter with a big bright smile on her face. She said, "Wow, looks like you have a Gerber baby there!". This brought to mind the picture on the front of all Gerber products and I remembered a funny thing we learned in a business class I took at the Haworth College of Business here at WMU.

Gerber baby in a jar: In South Africa the literacy rate is very low, so most products have a picture of the containers contents on its label. Wanting to understand why it's hugely successful line of baby food was not selling well internationally, Gerber flew some executives to Africa. They were informed that no one would buy a jar of ground up babies...Gerber as you may know, is famous for having a picture of a cute baby face on its labels!

Nova = "No go": Chevy took its successful Nova model to Mexico where sales were beyond abysmal. When they investigated further they discovered that the name Nova quite literally means "No go" in Spanish. They changed the name to Caribe and sales took off.
Note: This one is under a bit of scrutiny and Snopes.com lists this tale as "False", although I think their supporting argument is a little suspect and the fact that this tale was in my Business 4200 textbook leads me to believe it. Plus, it's too funny to dismiss!)

John Deere adultery hat: In Asia there is an idiom that translates roughly to "I wear a green hat", which means that you cheat on your spouse. John Deere has found that their hats sell better in white, or yellow. Anything but green!
_____________________________________________________

If the stories are true or not, I find it interesting that they appear in college text books. I seem to find myself frequently using web sites like snopes.com to check things of this nature. It seems to be pretty reliable, although you can't blindly trust any one site, and some of their supporting arguments seem suspect to me.

I do find Snopes to be effective at debunking the e-mail rumors and virus alerts that seem so prevalent these days. I once briefly believed an e-mail sent to me with a picture of a 27' Aligator that was taken out of a local river in my home town. Very realistic with pictures and references to real places, people, and newspapers. I double checked in Snopes, and sure enough the length was exaggerated (largest 'gator ever recorded was under 20') and the photo was taken in Texas somewhere. Seems there are several versions of this e-mail sent around, customized to your local area, in an effort to get you to forward to all of your friends. This gives the creator access to your e-mail address book and the ability to spread viruses. Crazy people...

So, when it comes to the stories you have heard here, you be the judge. I just wouldn't recommend that you wear your green hat on your next visit to Japan.

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

My list, and a life lesson from a great woman...

2009-01-20T14:04:00.001-08:00

Something to believe in. We all need it. Hope, faith, a reason to believe that brighter days are on the horizon. As I watched the 44th president of the United States swear his oath of office, people around me openly wept. I was moved as well, but not by the fact that he was the first African-American president, rather because it seems he is a man of integrity in a time where values have been lost.

We so desperately need people of character to lead us. Seems like every time you read the news some jerk just ran a company into the ground, all while taking a multi-million dollar golden parachute to safety. If it's not that, it's another senator/governor who (insert your favorite confidence deflating scum bag move here) and shakes our already weakened confidence in our elected officials. I prefer "pulling a Blagojevich" which means you abuse power and attempt to profit from filing a position normally elected by the people, all while telling the country you are a man of integrity who wants to bring respect back to your office and state.

I define character as what a person does when no one is there to see it. Choices a person makes on a daily basis. It is found in the way you treat others, both the powerful and the powerless. Many things shape a persons character, and many people have impacted my character throughout my life. One powerful influence on me early on was my grandmother. She always had a unique way of thinking about things. Not only could she do the cool things in life like teach you how use a fork to make the crisscross lines in a peanut butter cookie, but she had a knack for helping you see the best in people.

I remember when I was in elementary school and I was having trouble with a bully. Walking home he had decided for no good reason to take out his anger on someone, and I was apparently his closest target. Later as I visited my grandparents I was sulking and must have complained about that 'no good kid' who lived across the street. My grandmother had a different take. The conversation went something like this:

"Surely you can't say there is no good in him at all, can you?" she replied.
"Grandma, this boy is nothing but pure evil. There is not a single thing good about him. I wish he were never born!"
"It may be hard for you to see now, but there is good in all of us. No matter what that bully has done to you, or how much you dislike him, there are things about him you just understand."

And with that, she put in front of me a piece of paper and a pencil (my grandmother always wrote in pencil, on yellow legal pads, in perfect cursive. No one does that anymore...so sad.)

"Now, sit here and write out 10 positive things about that bully." She said.

I remember thinking there was no way was I going to come up with one good thing to say about this scum, let alone ten!

I made my way through the list, and while I didn't become best friends with him, I did start to see him in a different light. It was a small thing, but it had a big impact. Little did I know that my grandmother had just planted a seed that would blossom into a powerful life skill that I remember all these years later. I can recall one specific time in my life more recently when my ability to see good in others came in handy.

I was a Resident Advisor in the halls at WMU, and I did not particularly care for one of my fellow R.A.'s. He was not doing a very good job in my opinion, and I readily told him and others just that. Our hall director got wind of this rift between us and had a team building session. Guess what he asked us to do? Yup, list ten good qualities about the other person. I easily breezed through my list (you know, I have done this before) and when I was finished I began to see the other R.A. in a whole new light.

While I still disagreed with some of the things he was doing (or not doing), I noticed that he had some redeeming qualities that I admired. He was quiet and reserved (anyone who knows me well can see why I may not have understood this personality trait at first), but he was well respected by his residents. He earned their respect. We soon became friends and worked well together for the rest of the term. He found me on Facebook just the other day, and he is doing well in life.

What does it all mean? I don't know, I guess I can sometimes be a bit of a Pollyanna, always seeing the good and bright side. I am definitely a glass half full kind of person (or if I were an engineer I would say the glass is twice as big as it needs to be). It is dangerous to not be aware of others deficiencies or shortcomings, and none of this is going to bring about world peace, but I can't help but think that this world could be a better place to live if everyone had met my grandmother. If we take the time to truly understand each other, and see the good in all of us, who knows what we could accomplish?

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing." - Socrates

2009-01-05T17:56:00.000-08:00

Strange how things evolve. Take me for example. Eight years ago I didnt have a care in life. My biggest concern was where the next keg party was. As I reflected on my life, I thought I had everything well in hand. If asked whether or not I was smart/experienced/mature I would most certainly have answered with 'yes'. Not cocky, nor elitist, just confident.

Its funny how you look back at how you felt just a few short years ago. Remember how you "knew what was going on"...and now you think "what an idiot I was then. Oh how little I knew!" You feel confident about what you know now, yet inevitably in five years you will look back on this very moment with awe at what a schmuck you were (are)...Strange.

When I met my wife things changed for me. Now, everything I did not only impacted me, it also impacted her. I also felt an obligation to her family, to show them that I was taking care of her and looking out for us. I slowed down a little. Stopped taking huge risks. Things had evolved. Then, my daughter was born...Whoa.

Now I stare down every intersection before pulling out on a green light. I glare at fast "out of control" drivers. I worry about healthy foods. I exercise and take care of myself just that much more. When the stock market tanks, I get depressed. I read the safety instructions on the package (this would seriously amuse the me of eight years ago). Things have evolved.

The other day we were snowmobiling, and I approached a mound of snow. Even just a couple of years ago I would have goosed the throttle and hit that thing square at about 50 mph without much regard to what was on the other side, screaming for joy the whole way down. This time I slowed down, checked behind me, put my left arm out to signal a turn, and went around. All the while thinking to myself how I need to stay safe for my wife and daughter.

I get these funny 'Daymares' (they would be nightmares, but they happen during the day). I wave goodbye to my wife as she pulls out with the baby in the car, then WHAM! They get hit by a truck or something. Scares the bejezus out of me! I know these things are no more likely to happen now than before, but there is just so much more at stake now. Never really gave it much thought before. Funny how things evolve.

I also thought I understood what it was to be an adult. After I bought a house and had 'bills to pay' I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on things. Now, when I look back I realize I had no idea what it meant to be an 'adult'. It means being responsible for others. It means putting your needs aside, and taking care of business first. Being a parent means loving someone else so much it hurts sometimes. Working so hard to make the world a safe place for your children to grow up, knowing that most of it is out of your control. I am remided of what Bob Seger says in 'Against the Wind', "I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then."

Now I wonder what it is I have yet to learn. As I sit here and marvel about how little I knew a couple of years ago, I can't help but realize that the way I feel now will seem foolish through the lens of time. I remain humbled by the early lessons I have been taught by a nine month old baby girl, and I look forward to learning more from her for the rest of my life.

http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/

The Great War: Part III?

2008-12-04T10:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I almost never go political in any of my ramblings (as a rule of thumb I try to avoid discussions of politics or religion), but I get the feeling that the world is ready to bust at the seems. Today there are reports that Israel will attack Iranian nuclear targets in an effort to prevent them from creating an Atom Bomb.

These attacks are to be done with or without help and coordination from the U.S. and our lame duck president. "Still President Bush" as John Stewart of the Daily Show likes to call him, has nothing to say about this. I fear that the unstable and perhaps even psychotic leadership of Iran, who openly has promised to "wipe the stain of Israel off the map", will see this attack as an extension of the United States (oh, and guess who will have to back them up/bail them out if Iran retaliates? Yup, us).

Our country is still abuzz with the hope brought by the recent election, and like him or not, Obama will certainly take us in a new direction. One of his first pledged actions would be to withdraw from Iraq and turn over security to the people of the country (ready or not). He would presumably then turn his attention to Afghanistan. Makes sense in that there is a terrorist strong hold there, but we have heaps of political trouble with local ruling governments of the area, and you can bet our presence will not be welcomed with open arms given our recent track record.

All of this happens while the Russians are getting increasingly bold with their political and military moves. Putin, who should have been out of office by now, has managed to retain power and has all but restarted the cold war. Take the Georgia invasion for example (and I am talking about the country, not the southern state in the U.S. as I heard one very confused person say a few months back, "How can we just sit back and let Russia invade one of our states?").

Now Putin is parading around his navy and has set a Russian battle ship on course to run through the Panama Canal and to dock in a former U.S. naval base...posturing a bit? I think so. The so called experts maintian this is a harmless tit for tat due to our tisk tisking response to their invasion of a democratic nation in Georgia. I am a bit nervous about Putin becoming buddy buddy with Hugo Chavez, another political leader who might be a bit crazy and has no love loss for us.

Seems to me that the world gets itself into a big mess once every thirty to forty years (give or take). The Great War, 1914; WWII, 1939; Vietnam, 1965. (Vietnam technically started in 1950, but it was just a cival war until we started sending advisors in 1960. This war could have easily turned into WWIII with the tensions involved and the communist vs. democrat overtones that peaked interest in countries such as Russia and China). The point of all of this? I just wonder if we are not the bully hitting the bee hive with a stick with our global policies and allies as of late.

I saw a funny bumper sticker the other day that sort of sums up my opinion of recent American diplomacy: "Be nice to America, or we will bring Democracy to your country!"

Here's hoping we have learned a lesson or two and can avoid the third world war...

How not to drink alcohol 101

2008-11-24T14:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at the Lions game at Ford Field, I put on a clinic: How not to drink alcohol 101. Between the Bloody Mary's (of which I had never before partook) and the beer, oh and lets not forget the Captain Morgan, I had a bit too much.

Well, "a bit" would be an understatement. We began the day by tailgating outside in a parking lot. I was offered my first ever Bloody Mary, and I enjoyed it. When the cup was empty (and we're talking a full to the brim 'solo' cup) I was offered a Bud Light. Never one to turn down free drinks, I complied happily.

Just as we were about to leave for the game, the host pleaded for everyone to help finish off the remaining Bloody Mary mix. Again, I was all too happy to comply. Luckily this second drink was shared with my father, who coincidentally had a run in of his own with this same drink at last years game. But as we were about to leave I decided to chug the rest of my Bud Light, oh and the rest of my wife's Bud Light. Necessary? Of course it was! Can't leave it behind, right?

When we arrived at the suite I opened the fridge to be greeted by copious amounts of alcohol. This may have been fine had I stuck to one or the other, but I again decided to partake in Bud Light (no idea how many), only to switch to Captain Morgan. Could I have mixed a small amount in my cup and savored it slowly? Of course, but where is the fun in that? I had what amounted to approximately (and I am approximating, because from that point on the rest of the day was a bit hazy) four shots worth of Captain in two drinks that did not sit out long enough to get warm.

By the time I realized what this all was going to cost me, it was too late. I hid the unopened fifth of Captain under my shirt, and off we went. A few minutes into the car ride home (thankfully my father had the sense to switch to diet pop and guide us home safely) I went from laughing to....uh, oh.

Kristy looked back and noticed the change in my demeanor, and as she recalled later the "look" on my face. She had dad pull over as I opened my door and re-enjoyed the flavor of Bloody Mary, spicy chicken wings, chili dogs, beer and Captain Morgan. Not a good thing.

I then apparently used my cell to login to my Facebook account and leave the following status:
"Randy is mad that capt. n Morgan n the Tampampa Bay Bucaneersrs ruined his Sun aft. noon, but thankfull his wife could drive his drunk a@# hm frm the game!"

(Notice the spelling of Tampa and Buccaneers. Also, capt. n Morgan...lol)

This was followed by several drunk dials to the poor people in my phone book, one of which was in bed getting ready for a 4 AM start to his Monday work day. When I get drunk, please take my phone from me! I was shushing people, and telling them "I think I am in trouble. Kristy is going to be mad! Shhhhhhhh!"

The game was a blast, but I can't believe I did that to myself. I also feel bad that I became a burden on the rest of the group, and I thank my father and wife for getting me home (though I don't remember it).

So, let this serve as a cautionary tale. Never mix, and know your limits! If you don't drink liquor very often, you might want to stay away from it! Just say no! As for me, I am never drinking again! Till next time...

P.S.
Sorry if that was too graphic!

Come on Shoot, hit that hard six!

2008-10-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

Casino's never really were all that appealing to me, but recently I have had occasion to visit two of the nicer casino's in Michigan. While I can't say that I am reformed, I will say that my opinion on the value of casino's as a form of entertainment has changed.

I guess I never really got into it because of my conservative fiscal tendencies. If I can buy one refillable coke and share it, I will. If the investment is not guaranteed, don't expect me to hand over wads of hard earned money. So the thought of sticking $20 into a slot machine and walking away with nothing makes me physically ill.

My first ever experience in a casino was in Petosky, MI. I tagged along out of curiosity and boredom, plus I figured it was time to see what all the excitement was about. I sat down at the quarter slots thinking that I could make the entertainment last. Fed the machine my twenty, then four and a half minutes later I was ready to cry when I realized I had no money left. Sure, it was mildly entertaining, what with the whizzers and bells, flashing lights and what not. But for the money I had just spent, I could immediately think of several ways to get much more in return.

Having this as my lone reference point, I was not sure what to think when a friend of ours suggested we hit Turtle Creek Casino a couple weeks back. I told myself to loosen up and go enjoy the sights and sounds, not to mention there was talk of a buffet (who can resist eating three servings of food that might stop your heart on the spot, while causing you to be miserable for the next 24-48 hours as you regret that last helping of bananas foster?).

We walked around and played a few games. The floor was bigger than Petosky and the games seemed better. I took my seat at a video poker machine and gave it a whirl. Max credit, hold the ace, deal. Nothing. Max credit, hold three hearts, deal. Nothing. Money dwindling, the queen seemingly laughing at me. Then, max credit, hold the three jacks, deal. Bam! Full house, and the credits start piling up! I admit, it is quite a rush.

Now I can handle the small time stuff. It has its merits as equal parts fun and opportunity to cash in a decent haul. The table games on the other hand are just not my speed. A friend of mine loves to play craps so much so that, if it weren't socially unacceptable hygienically, I think he might play the same table 48 hours straight. With all the vodka cranberries you can drink, who needs anything but a few bathroom breaks anyway?

I watched this confounding game a few times, and even with some expert tutelage from my friend I think I am more confused now than ever. Terms like "Yo" and "Hard six" in place of "eleven" and "two threes" just make it worse. Not to mention that it moves fast, and there are lots of chips and dice flying every which way. If craps could be played with pennies I suspect it might interest my mathematical and gamesmanship side, but the stakes seem a bit too high for me. My friend has an amazing ability to seemingly always walk away with house money in his pocket, but last Sunday we visited Four Winds in New Buffalo and watched a guy burn through $4,000 dollars only to reach in his pocket and cash in another $500, all the while chanting, "it's gonna come back around." Ouch.

I enjoyed my visits, and especially recommend Four Winds to anyone who likes good food, the largest gaming floor you can imagine, and reasonably priced drinks (my short Long Island was only $3). As for me? I will be back, but not with more than $20 cash on my person, and I am leaving the plastic at home.

Rebuffing my hero

2008-10-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Mitch Albom is sort of a hero to me. Not the kind that saves babies from burning buildings, and I don't think he wears a cape, but he is none the less a man I respect.

I have followed Mitch in the Free Press since I was 10 years old. I used to tape his articles on the Bad Boys (Pistons of the 80's and 90's) to my bedroom wall. He has written books including "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Five People you Meet in Heaven". All good reads. He also is a regular on the Sunday morning sports talk show called "The Sports Reporters" hosted by fellow WMU alum John Saunders.

Today when I saw his article on the recent moves by the Detroit Lions I had to disagree. He claims that John Kitna deserved better. See the article here:
http://www.freep.com/article/20081014/COL01/81014093/1082/rss12

And my response:
____________________________________________________________________

Mitch,

I have loved reading your books and columns, followed you since the bad boys era. It pains me to say it, but you are dead wrong on Kitna.

Is he a great guy? No doubt. Hard worker? Unquestionably. Team leader? To be sure. But here is the part you got wrong: John Kitna directly contributed to most of the losses incurred by this team in the last two plus seasons.

How many times did a costly fumble, interception or sack from Kitna cost us a game we should have won? I lost count...How many wide open receivers never got the ball because Kitna could not avoid the rush? Again, too many to count.

Even if you say Kitna is not to blame for this year’s debacle, and I don't think anyone can pin it all on him, there is still one lingering problem. Kitna is not the future of this franchise. I don't care how much you like the guy. We need to move in another direction, and we have two young QB's on the bench who would never see action without moving Kitna.

I applaud the recent moves by the Lions brass. Finally they are showing a commitment to move forward. With Kitna on the field we achieve nothing, even if we win. It is highly doubtful that we can salvage this season and we need to start evaluating what we have for the future.

Now, if your argument is that Kitna deserves better than IR, well I can almost agree with you. However, the best situation for all parties here would have been a trade, and clearly no GM out there was willing to give up any picks or prospects for an aging journeyman QB with back problems (Matt Millen is out of work you know).

From all accounts I have read, the Lions tried to arrange a trade to no avail. The only other option then is to put Kitna on IR. I am sure he would never admit the extent of the damage to his back, and we could not play the wait and see game. It's over for him in Detroit. Take a vacation John, we will see about landing you with another team this off season.

So, thanks Kitna for your time and effort, you are a helluva guy and we wish you the best. But this is a business, and we need to move on. Sorry Mitch, you got that one wrong...

____________________________________________________________________

Americana

2008-10-05T16:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a slice of good old Americana. This Sunday we decided to thaw some pork chops and do some grillin (as it turns out, one of the packages we thought was pork chops was actually steak, but hey, that only works in my favor if you ask me).

I don't like to bake meat if I can grill instead, and pan frying anything tends to leave you with something more akin to shoe leather. The only problem is that I had no pork chop grilling recipes or experience. So to the internet I went, and this is what I found:

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4 (3/4 to 1 inch thick) pork chops

1/4 tsp. salt
3/4 tsp. lemon pepper seasoning
1/2 tsp. dried whole oregano

Sprinkle pork chops, with salt, lemon pepper, and oregano. Place chops in 4 to 5 inches from coals. Grill over low to medium hot coals 25 minutes or until the chops are no longer pink, turning once. 4 servings.

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I used a little olive oil with the rub. The result? Mmmmmm...delicious! It was mouthwatering. I of course adjusted the amounts involved due to the fact that we had only two chops and they were not 1'' thick. It took considerably less than 25 minutes to grill them.

The ale you see pictured is the new offering from Anheuser Bush (now owned by a Belgian co. called Inbev by the way, which sort of cheapens the title of this post and their beer). It is a suprisingly good brew all things considered. It is amber in color, has a rich smooth flavor, and sort of reminds me of Killians Irish Red. I don't like a lot of hops in my beer, and it needs to have a nice finish without biting, and this malty caramel goodness does the trick. I am a fan. I shall consume more.

As you look at the picture of our dinner, you may have noticed that the steak looks like pac man is about to eat one of the pork chops. Do not adjust your set, this is just the cut I had to make to be sure that the steak was not still mooing inside. I like mine on the medium rare side and am not afraid of the pink center, but I have on occasion been too quick to pull the meat off the grill, causing it to be a little too bloody for my wife's taste. Since I am not a professional and do not own a meat thermometer, I just cut into the center and peek. Doesn't do much for the visual presentation, but again, I am not a professional.

It was a fantastic weekend for us. Our baby girl is now six months old, I ran in the Campus Classic 5k Saturday, there is a bite in the air, football on tv, steak/chops on the grill and cold beer in the fridge. If that ain't the American dream, I don't know what is...

TIP:
Just a reminder, for those of you who get the automatic e-mail for new posts, don't forget you can see this blog at: http://semicoherentramblingsofamadman.blogspot.com/
Some people did not understand the "Sound of Pure Joy" post because it has a video on the actual blog that did not come through in the e-mail.
Also, there are still a few spots left on the auto e-mail list so if you would like to receive new posts via your e-mail let me know!

The sound of pure joy...

2008-09-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

Lately we have been working on getting EmJ to laugh. My wife has been successful to a certain extent getting short quiet bursts out of her here and there, but it required intense effort. I got a giggle once, but nothing sustained, and certainly not spontaneous.

So you can imagine how geeked we were this evening when she laughed histerically. We were sitting on the couch and Emily was watching me play with Cooper, when out of no where she let loose with the best laugh I have ever heard. Seems she has developed a fascination with Coop lately. Her eyes light up when he comes near, and if he is within arms reach she comes up with a handfull of fur.

I think my wife is a Ninja...

2008-09-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

Here is my evidence:

1) She can enter and leave a room with quiet swiftness. I swear there are times I thought she was in the other room, so I patiently wait for her to return only to look behind me and find her comfy cozy on the couch. Scary.

2) She reads faster than any human being has a right to. Not sure if this is a Ninja skill or not, but I know she can read a 400 page novel in about half an hour (give or take). That just aint right.

3) When we play puzzle games or fill in the blank type stuff (Think Wheel of Fortune) she knows the answer about five times quicker than anyone else. There was a Wheel puzzle the other day with 20 blanks and one filled in letter, and she yells out "Never in my wildest dreams, duh!". I was like how did you do that? To which she replied, "The category is phrase, hello!". Meanwhile, the contestants get all but two letters filled in, and still guessed wrong. Come to think of it, maybe I need to buy my wife a plane ticket. Do they allow Ninja's on Wheel?

4) Weapon of Choice: Sarcasm. She can quickly diffuse any situation with this wicked instrument of destruction.

5) Swiftly spots all errors made by me. Only a ninja could figure out what it was I was about to do wrong before I even do it. This seems to be pretty consistent, although sometimes I surprise her and fix an error before she catches it. Guess I am her padawan learner (jedi apprentice to the uninitiated), ninja in training.

6) Master of 'the look'. One flash of this look and the recipient knows that my wife is not to be messed with. I assume this look has been crafted over the years in preparation for raising our daughter, whom I assume will test our patience often.

7) Cooking without a cookbook. Often Mother Hubbard's Cupboard is bare, and we are down to a random collection of materials with which to make a meal. My wife does not see this as a problem. She once turned a lemon, some garlic seasoning, a couple artichoke hearts and some cheese into a gourmet meal. Seriously, some of her 'inventions' are so good I request them again. I now intentionally purchase random ingrediants at the grocery store just so that she will experiment in the kitchen. The draw back to this ninja skill is the abuse my waistline takes, but I am willing to sacrifice.

What are you lookin at?

2008-09-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

***Update: Well, this post was written on my Treo and apparently when you choose "save", it posts your unfinished ramblings and e-mails everyone! I have since updated and corrected my late night grammar and spelling mistakes.***

It is that time of the year again, season premiers of all your favorite tv shows. I don't watch much tv, that is to say I don't keep up on specific shows. Never have. My tv is typically on ESPN or something like History or Discovery channels. Seems to me that sitcoms and drama's have been pretty dull compared to ten years ago.

I do however think that a few shows have proven worthy of tuning into, so here is a list of what I am looking forward to this fall (only counting major networks):

1) New Adventures of Old Christine - I was not a Seinfeld fan, and never really noticed Julia Louis Dreyfus before, but this show is Hi-Double-Arious. Wanda Sykes is brilliant with her dry wit, and the rest of the cast is spot on (including one of my favorites from the movie VanWilder, who plays "New Christine"). Watching Dreyfus shimmie shake her shoulders in an effort to be sexy at the supermarket and attract a man is very amusing.

2) Big Bang Theory - In the age where geek is chic, this one really amuses me. Last year I was hooked when Sheldon dressed as the Doppler Effect for Halloween. Plus, I love any show that works in a bit about Schrodinger's cat (Quantum Physics theory about a cat that is simultaneously alive and dead). Is this show dead or alive? Guess we will have to look to find out!

3) How I met your mother - Neil Patrick Harris (of Doogie Howser fame) is so funny as Barney, the morally challenged "wing man" who loves to "suit up" and hit the bar. The show is based on a father recalling the days of his youth to his children, leading up to of course how he met their mother. Have we already meet the mother, or is she being saved for the series finale? A group of 20 something friends gather at their favorite watering hole and hi jinks ensue. Good stuff.

A picture is worth a thousand words

2008-08-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

The fine art of umbrella purchasing

2008-08-22T10:40:00.001-07:00

So today has been "one of those days" for me. I love that phrase because everyone just read that and went, "Ahh, I know exactly what you mean. I am having 'one of those days' myself" even though you can't possibly know what I mean. But I digress...

I woke this morning with a lovely chest cold to kick off the day. Then the dark clouds rolled in as I fed the dog and got myself ready for work. After Joe Namath’ing through the morning (This is a term I now use in place of the word 'struggling'. For clarification see the video of Joe Namath drunk on the sidelines of a Jet's game, trying to make out with sideline reporter Suzie Kolber, and struggling to pronounce the word 'struggling'. The video can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc65NC44dSk) I decided to hit the pharmacy for some cold meds.

I ventured to the parking lot with my cheap WMU logo umbrella and started toward my car through a down poor. As I opened Old Faithful, the nickname given my trusty umbrella of several years, I was greeted with a dreadful sound. SPROING! My shield from Mother Nature virtually exploded, and I was left holding the shaft in one hand and the umbrella in the other while springs and pieces clanked to the ground. Not what I needed right then.

I went to the local haberdashery to procure myself a replacement for Old Faithful, and I found the beautiful model pictured above. This baby has a graphite shaft, a two layered canopy for precipitation protection, an ergonomic grip, AM/FM tuner, GPS, espresso maker and it glows in the dark. Ok, so I embellished some of that, but compared to my broken down poor excuse for an umbrella now lying in pieces on the cold dark pavement, this thing was awesome!

I knew I had picked the correct umbrella the first time I opened it after leaving the store. I was a bit perplexed at first when I pushed the blinking red button to deploy the canopy and nothing happened. Then I realized I had forgotten to release the second, yes second strap holding the thing together. After remedying this, I held on tight and braced myself for the show.

FffffwwwwhaaaaBuuuuush!!!!!!! (Read: overly dramatic sound of an umbrella opening in slow motion. I think that is how you spell that sound, although it is not listed in Merriam-Webster. Useless). This thing is awesome. I have to admit I may be easily impressed as Old Faithful was purchased for a specific need, that being I was a broke college student who needed something that was cheap and would fit in my book bag. My new umbrella seems so huge by comparison. I almost felt compelled to use it to shuttle poor umbrella-less saps to their vehicles, or find a small family to gather under my new mobile shelter.

So, my new umbrella should last me a while. If not, it is covered by a very comprehensive bumper to bumper warranty. 10 years or 100k miles, whichever comes first. I hope that my experience has helped you in your quest to find shelter against the storm.

Menagerie

2008-08-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

Since I started this blog I have been focusing on quality over quantity. Sometimes it is hard to stay politically correct and keep from offending someone, and this narrows my choice of topics to "burn on" (to steal a phrase made popular by T.V.'s Jim Rome).

Having said that, here is a list of things I am thinking about right now, in no particular order and in no way related to anything other than random thoughts floating in my head.

Yesterday I was accosted at MIS by GropeZilla. The whole incident was caught on tape by my friend who was trying to capture a posed pic of me in front of the Dale Earnhardt Jr. merchandise trailer. I was just goofing off with a funny pose in front of a huge picture of Dale, when from out of nowhere I feel someone come from behind and mount me! We are fond of such silliness in my family and group of friends so my first thought brought to mind my brother trying to sneak into the pic. As such I began to reach down to grab hold and complete the pose. Providence stepped in just before I grabbed a handful, because I had looked up and noticed that all members of my party were present and accounted for in front of me. Hmmmm.

As I turned around I noticed that a women had made the best of an opportunity to make her friends, and subsequently my whole group, almost die of laughter. Thank god I did not grab hold. As luck would have it, when I handed my camera to my friend I had left it on movie mode, so the whole thing was captured on a 20 sec youtube worthy clip. Thanks must go out to my wife who quite calmly muttered under her breath after seeing the clip, and did not try to track down GropeZilla. Honey, I love you. Thanks also to dad for a great day!

I can not believe the summer is almost over! Where did time go? I guess hours of watching my daughter saturate herself with slobber while trying to master the "motor boat sound" has made time fly by. This past Saturday I had the opportunity to return to a class held at the hospital for prospective dads. This time I was the "veteran" returning in glorious fashion to regale the wide eyed group of newbies with tales of meconium, afterbirth, epidurals and other things that would make most young men queasy.

It was a lot of fun to share my experience and answer questions as a respected member of the dad community. They hung on my every word as I remembered how I felt only a few short months ago when I was in their seat. I assured them that the head would not fall off when they picked baby up (one of my irrational fears as a newbie) and told them they would get through this just fine. Emily screeched and fused the whole time, so I am not sure how effective my message was, but it was fun none the less...

Is it a good thing or a bad thing that social networking software such as Facebook exists? I am on the fence. I am a late adopter (I only started because I had to give a presentation on it at the library, so I would have felt hypocritical to teach it without using it). I like some of the features, for example I just last night discovered a long lost high school friend, but it also has some drawbacks.

Advertising, the double edged sword. Your page is farmed for keywords, your birth date and gender provide key demographic info, your likes and interests page make you all too easy to target. Yet, without these advertisers willing to pay top dollar for this market research that is worth its weight in gold, things like Facebook would not be free and probably would not exist.

Another disturbing trend that I am almost against (read: I will apply it to others but object to it being applied to me) is the use of Facebook as a pre-job interview discovery tactic. Today, a student inquired about an open position I have. So I "Facebooked" him. He is a friend of a former student I had employed and I got the skinny on him. No need to interview him. It is a bold new world we live in!

Life is worth living

2008-08-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

Awe. Here comes the soft side. Look out, I'm about to get all mushy.

During the first couple of months of my daughters life I experienced almost every emotion a human can go through. I was happy, excited, hopeful, giddy and all of those 'good' emotions. Believe it or not, I also had a healthy dose of nervous, sad, worried, apprehensive and anxious.

It is hard to put into words the roller coaster that you go through from the time your wife tells you that she is pregnant to that precious moment that your first child takes her first breath. Personally, I was a wreck. I was happy to see her, but scared that I would do something wrong and let her down while raising her. I was hopeful for a long life of happiness with my small family, but I was nervous that we were in for a long tough road ahead.

The first few weeks of my daughters life were some of the most challenging I have faced in years. Finishing finals during my senior year of college was nothing compared to trying to calm and sooth a screaming baby with colic. It was a very nerve racking and trying time for both my wife and I. Yet from the challenge breaks a new dawn. Tonight I realized as I sat watching my wife spoon feed "big girl" food (banana flavored oatmeal) to my beautiful baby girl that we have become closer and more fulfilled as a family than ever before.

I am not proficient enough with words to describe how it feels to have that beautiful bundle of joy look at you and smile when you catch her attention. I now know why I was put on this earth, and I feel like now I have finally accomplished something that will make a difference in this world. When I am gone, my impact on this planet will continue on. Her happiness is worth all of the struggles I have ever faced, and at the same time makes my troubles seem so trivial.

Not Dead Yet...

2008-08-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

'Tech' is a four letter word to most. Microsoft does nothing to make it easier to digest. In the past year or so they have released into the wild their new operating system for PC's, Windows Vista. This has been meet with much resistance, prompting many to demand that Windows XP be given a stay of execution.

While XP is not dead yet, understand that the end is near. I recently 'upgraded' a PC for someone from Vista to XP (MS calls that a downgrade, but that is a matter of opinion), only to find that new hardware is manufactured for Vista only, and not compatible with XP. This person was stuck between a rock and a hard place because her children's large collection of beloved games and educational software was not Vista compatible. We had to change the hardware on a brand new machine just to install XP.

Alas, the industry evolves. It was the same thing when XP was first announced (although I think the growing pains were eased by the fact that XP replaced arguably the worst operating system ever created called Windows ME). Since its introduction XP has become the most stable and prominent operating system out there, which explains why people are woe to move away from it.

All good things come to an end, and whether you believe MS is just pushing Vista to make money, or this is the next step in the evolution of computing, the fact is you can't stop it. Eventually at some point you will either have to buy new hardware or upgrade to Vista for some new software you need that does not work with XP (or, ***shudder***, switch to Mac or Linux).

In the mean time take heart in the fact that XP is still supported with updates and technicians through the year 2014. If you are contemplating buying a new PC though, your option to get XP on it is fast running out. Jan 2009 is the end of all retail sales for XP, and most places have already stopped selling any new hardware that is XP compatible.

If you are considering Vista, make sure it works with all of your software and peripherals (printers, scanners, cameras, etc. Assume anything manufactured before 2007 is not Vista ready). From what I understand, most of the kinks have been worked out of Vista and it should prove to be a good OS in the long run. Just make sure you have plenty of RAM and can live without your old software/hardware.

Remember, there are techies like me out there who enjoy this stuff because we can charge large amounts of money to fix it! Hey, diapers are expensive people!

The Business of Sports

2008-07-31T07:20:00.000-07:00

Over the years professional sports has been more and more business like and less loyal to players and fans. Salary caps are huge, and salaries are disproportionate with reality. This has turned what was once something players did for the love of the game into a multi-billion dollar a year industry.

It used to be that your team drafted a player and he was your guy for years to come. Most of my pro sports memories from childhood are Detroit related, but I think the experience holds true across the board. Steve Yzerman played his whole 22 year career with the winged wheel on his chest, Joe Dumars retired a Piston and moved into their front office, Barry Sanders retired from the lions (albeit early and on bad terms, but one team none the less).

Now it seems you can hardly get used to a guy on your team before he gets caught in the business dealings that have become all too common. Today, the Tigers traded Pudge Rodriguez to the Yankees for a pitcher who used to play for Detroit. A couple of years ago Ben Wallace walked away from the Pistons to take more money from the Bulls (how did that one work out for ya big fella?). The Lions cut starting running back Kevin Jones (a money move) and have been through more coaches in the past decade than some franchise's have had since their inception.

The result? I have a growing stack of jerseys from my favorite players hanging in my closet that I no longer wear because they don't play for my team anymore. A friend of mine is a Marlins fan and loves Pudge Rodriguez. He spent big money on a sweet authentic Pudge Marlins jersey during their heyday. What happened after FL won the World Series? Fire sale. Traded away all of their big talent. Pudge eventually wound up in Detroit, my friend’s jersey collecting dust in his closet. As it turns out, he is also a diehard Yankees fan so now he has his boy back behind the plate. I wonder…will he spend any money on a Pudge Yankees jersey?

Now you can say that the players are just as guilty as the franchise, and I agree with you. When you have $100 million dollars you are not likely to starve (**he takes a shot at Latrel Sprewell who infamously turned down millions in an effort to get more money to quote 'feed his family'**). Sometimes the franchise just has to mitigate risk as Detroit did with Pudge today. The contract was expiring and they were likely to get nothing in return as Ivan would have bolted this summer.

I don't blame GM's for playing the game because they have no choice. What I would like to see is these whiny, rich beyond my wildest dreams, ordinary men with gifted physical ability, shut up and play the game. Be loyal to the fan who can hardly afford the inflated ticket prices teams charge to pay your ridiculous salary. Not to mention you make a stupid amount of money to play games while some of us struggle just to stay employed at $10 per hour. When was the last time you had to sweat over paying $4 a gallon so you could get to a job you hate? Suck it up and take that paltry $60 million to play a game you claim to love.

A tutorial

2008-07-31T07:12:00.002-07:00

I have been married now for four of the most spectacular years of my life, and I am one of the lucky few who has truly found my soul mate. I can't describe how it feels to be blessed enough to have the rest of my life to spend with my best friend at my side.
Having said that, I felt I should disseminate everything I have learned about women over the past few years. Here it is for your edification, everything I know about women:

Did you get it all? Thats right, nothing. I know nothing about women. They remain as mysterious and hard to figure out as ever. Just when I think I know what I am doing, WHAM! Wrong!
I guess that is what makes life interesting. If they were easy to figure out it would be boring...

Movie time!

2008-07-21T10:54:00.000-07:00

At lunch today the conversation veered into movie land. I am somewhat jaded by Tinsel Town as of late, and my personal take is that they are running out of original ideas worth making a movie out of. Look at all of the dusted off old ideas that have been regurgitated in the last couple of years; Batman, Die Hard, Indiana Jones, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, just to name a few.

Some of these remakes are good; some of them should never have been touched. *see also The Incredible Hulk*

This got me to thinking about movies I have loved over the last decade or so, and I have compiled a list of "If you missed it, you should go check it out" movies.
(Editors note: I am by no means Roger Ebert, so these are just my non professional thoughts, observations, and ideas, so take it with a grain of salt)

1) The Comedy selection: Anchorman
Granted, Farrell is an acquired taste, but if you love his style check out the movie that gave us such memorable quotes as:
-You're a smelly pirate hooker. Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?
-I'm in a glass case of emotion!
-Sex Panther, 60% of the time, it works every time!
-Look, a glorious rainbow! Do me on it!
-and the list goes on...
Not to mention the classic scene of Farrell describing to his buddies what it's like to be in love by leading the gang in an A Capella version of 'Afternoon Delight'. Good stuff!

Honorable Mention: Superbad, a hilarious coming of age tale from new comedy genius Seth Rogan.

2) The Fantasy/Action Adventure selection: Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl
This was such a well told story with fantastic original characters and great visuals. I remember seeing this in the theater and thinking, "now that is how you make a great movie!” Johnny Depp takes the character 'Captain' Jack Sparrow to epic heights and anything Producer Jerry Bruckheimer touches turns to gold. The two sequels are worth seeing, but the magic of the original is never recaptured. Favorite quote, "Why is all the Rum gone?"

Honorable Mention: Star Wars III, Revenge of the Sith, easily the best of the 'prequels'

3) The Drama selection: The Good Sheppard
Brilliant casting, an edge of your seat thriller, and the best post WWII story I have seen. This one is a little bit hard to follow at times, but if you pay attention you should get it in the end. I love Matt Damon in this, because you never quite know what to think about his character. He keeps you guessing and as you find out throughout the film that has been his job since he was a college lad.

Honorable Mention: Reign over Me, Don Cheadle and surprisingly Adam Sandler turn in great performances in this post 9/11 life goes on story (I say 'surprisingly Sandler' because it is in my opinion his only serious role that he pulls off aside from maybe 'Spanglish'). Gripping scenes with Sandler recalling 9/11 and how it changed him forever.

4) Animated tale I saw before I had children that gave me a built in excuse: Finding Nemo
You have to love the voice cast in this and the animation was stunning. I was not an Ellen Degeneres fan before this movie, but Dory was an unforgettable character that still makes me grin. "Hi, I'm Dory. Have we met?” When she reads the 'escape' hatch as EsChaPeh and postures that it must be French, I just can't help but laugh. Then she says, "hey, that’s funny it’s spelled the same as escape". Brilliant. I still use the "Good feelings gone" quote from when the monster fish sneaks up on them in the abyss and love to sing and dance to "no eating here tonight, uh, no eating here tonight, you on a diet"!

Honorable Mention: Meet the Robinsons, a great flick about a boy genius who invents time travel. I know someone who reminds me of Yagoobian, but I won't say here...

Can a man really have too many toys?

2008-07-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

Recently I have begun to renew my zeal for guitar, rediscovering my love of classic rock in the process. This is due mostly to the fact that a friend of mine bought a drum set and we have begun working on a few songs for a possible cover band or open mic night appearances.

Taking stock of my guitar collection, I noticed it consisted of three and a half pieces; an old entry level $100 Takamine Jasmine series acoustic (which I believe has a sound way richer than most guitars two or three times the price, but I digress), a Fender Squire Strat that my father-in-law bought on e-bay that needs a new rheostat (it only plays with the sound nob delicately tuned to somewhere around 7 and 7/8), and a 1974/75 maroon Gibson Marauder that belongs to my father-in-law. The one half piece is the Gibson's accompanying amp that is showing its age and has no inputs for an ipod. Seriously, how can any budding musician be expected to deal with such archaic equipment as this?

So I needed at the very least a practice amp, which is where all the trouble started. I am only thinking of my wifes sanity, as the old amp is also missing an output jack for headphones. Thus I went to my favorite place, Guitar Center. I know some die hards out there are thinking that is a joke. GC is sort of akin to WalMart. It is the musicians bargain bin, but hey, I am on a budget.

I found a neat little Crate practice amp for $70 that includes some distortion overdrive effects and an input for my mp3 player, or more importantly, my laptop (I love anything that allows you to plug in a laptop).

My wife was none too happy about this purchase as we are on a tight budget with the baby and all. I think she understood, but from her perspective she sees a pile of equipment and I am by no means a professional making money off of it, not that most professional musicians out there are making money off of their equipment either. While I was at GC, I played an Ibanez amplified acoustic six string and loved it. My preference was for a Martin satin top that just blows your mind with its rich deep tones, but that thing is around $900 on a good day and I was already seeing the writing on the wall about my dream there.

What pleased me the most about the Ibanez was the price tag, a mere 1/3 the price of the Martin. Still, I hung it back on the wall knowing I can only test my wifes patience so much in one month. After jamming with my friend and working on a couple of classic tunes from Bob Seger and Bad Co., I could not help remembering the sound I was getting out of that Ibanez. "Man, how cool would that sound with an acousitc?" I would say. I could not help myself.

So I vowed I would raise the cash with some side IT work, and I told my wife the plan. She was very accepting, save for the "you already have three guitars, why in the world do you need another?" comment. She had a point, but guitars are like people, each of them has their own unique personality and they all have different situations that they work best in. You don't play Metallica on a straight six string acoustic, a Fender works best for most 80's rock, a Gibson has a specific sound you find in Clapton and others, and you just can't play Seger's 'Night Moves' alone on electric.

Having hashed it out with my wife I decided to move forward and get the guitar. By chance I just happened to check e-bay and found the exact model I was after w/hard case and leather strap, at an opening bid of $100! It was in good shape and I put in a bid. Three days later I was paying $20 shipping on a winning bid of $148. I saved over $200 on buying all that stuff new and the wife seemed pleased by this.

So, to make a long story even longer, I don't believe a man can have too many toys. I am collecting finely crafted small works of art. These are not toys to me. They are tools that I can use to brighten a room with, bring smiles to faces, and burn off a little after work stress. Now to convince my wife that even though I have a 30th anniversary edition Mustang GT convertible, I still need to get my hands on a '68 GT coupe to rebuild...that is a battle for another day I guess.

Sick of this war!

2008-07-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today I read an article that breaks my heart. Found on CNN.com, 'It's gonna be a bloodbath' sort of brings light to the reason I chose not to enlist in the armed services.

Let me break here to say that I support our troops. Not the reason they are there mind you, but I support the hell out of the brave men and women fighting for our country. This topic is usually a hot button issue and I don't mean to touch off a debate over the merits of our political agenda in the Middle East, but it really grinds me that we are still there.

Each of our young men and women who have signed up for duty did so of free will (undue influence of pushy recruiters, miserable home conditions and family disputes aside). To a certain extent you cannot say they were 'victims' or walked into this blindly. To a certain extent.

Having said that, I just don't understand why our military continues to repeat the same mistakes. This example comes from Afghanistan...Where you say? Afghanistan...you remember, the place we landed first all those years ago to rid the world of terrorism and spread democracy, irregardless of whether it was wanted or not. We were supposed to have won victory and crushed the Taliban into oblivion just before we left for big oil in Iraq (I'm sorry, that is why we went there, plain and simple).

Now we have reports that on July 13th, a handful of America's finest were 'scouting' for a remote outpost in what they described as the 'most dangerous part of the world'. Needless to say, the outnumbered brave soldiers were overrun by a group of Taliban numbering in the hundreds. It was the highest US military fatality rate in three years.

Why are we playing cat and mouse games with an enemy that has continuously proven a desire to bring the fight to us anywhere, anytime, under any circumstances?All of the political stuff aside, what makes this worse is among the dead are several soldiers who were in the last days of a 15 month tour of duty. Tell me how it makes any sense that these people, who were about to rejoin their families, were sent out in what even the soldiers new was a bad situation?

I have read my share of gut wrenching tales about young men and women dying without ever meeting their newborn children, or leaving behind young spouses and other beloved family members. This one makes no sense because these soldiers were in an area that was clearly not secured. They weren't hit by a roadside bomb, or an RPG. They were attacked by a group of people who have nowhere near the level of sophistication and technology that we are supposed to have.

Either we occupy an area and clear it of all threats using superior technology and numbers, or we move on. What is with the 'outpost' thing? I am so sick of hearing us declare victory over an enemy only to be smacked in the face a couple short years later.

My heart goes out to the family of our fallen soldiers. I hope they all come home soon. God bless.

Since becoming a father...

2008-07-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

Since the day I became a father in April of 2008, I have noticed that there are three basic types of people in this world; the kind that already have kids, the kind that want kids, and the kind that despise kids.

You can tell if a person has kids when you tell them that your baby has colic. The look on their face shows the battle scars and lets you know that they feel your pain. If you say ‘colic’ to a non-parent, they are likely to give you a blank stare and say, “gee, that’s too bad”. When you say ‘colic’ to a parent, their face gets all scrunched up and they say something like “you poor miserable soul, is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all? We can watch baby for a while, or cook you a meal, or do the shopping. You name it and we are there for you! We can get through this together!”

Colic is basically a title that doctors have created to say your baby is going to scream her head off for three straight months, there is nothing we can do about it, and we have no idea why. As you can imagine, this is great news to a scared stiff new parent. Something like one out of every four babies goes through it. I think if they really want to solve the teen pregnancy problem in this country, make 14 year old girls watch my daughter overnight. They will stay as far away from the boys as they can!

I have also noticed that people get stupid around babies. They are all experts and know exactly what you are doing wrong, and they aren’t afraid to tell you. Unsolicited advice has been thrown at us from every angle, so much so that I sometimes cringe to even tell people about our daughter. People say stuff like, “My little Susie was never outside without a bonnet on her head”, or “You have to breast feed her until she graduates from college to get the best benefit from mother’s milk”. Idiots.

We have been greeted with some much needed and intelligent advice, though it has been far and few between. While I appreciate everyone's desire to help, I find myself wishing people would just keep their ideas to themselves unless asked for them. Maybe it just comes down to my favorite saying from Charles Swindoll which I shall paraphrase here: "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."

Right on Chuck! I guess I just need to take peoples advice with a grain of salt. Being a parent does not come with an instruction book; you just figure it out through trial and error. So far so good, so I guess I cannot complain. What is that old line from Eagles guitarist Joe Walsh? "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. Life's been good to me so far..."

To hyphen, or not to hypen?

2008-07-15T13:29:00.000-07:00

The opening entry of my blog brings my first preponderance. Should 'Semi Coherent' be hyphenated?
From Merriam-Webster (which is hyphenated by the way) we have this definition of 'Coherent':

Main Entry: co·her·ent

Pronunciation: \-ənt\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French cohérent, from Latin cohaerent-, cohaerens, present participle of cohaerēre

Date: circa 1555

1 a: logically or aesthetically ordered or integrated : consistent <coherent style> coherent argument> b: having clarity or intelligibility : understandable coherent person> coherent passage>2: having the quality of cohering; especially : cohesive, coordinated coherent plan for action>3 a: relating to or composed of waves having a constant difference in phase <coherent light> b: producing coherent light coherent source>

— co·her·ent·ly adverb

A quick web search, using Google of course, turns up several definitions of how/when to use a hyphen. I still don't know if I need one in the title of my blog or not, which leads me to leave it out due to my subscription to the school of 'when in doubt, leave it out' writing.

Having said that, the definition provided above helps me to define what my blog is all about; almost, but not quite, coherent ramblings. I am not an English major, and I will make mistakes. Logically and esthetically ordered it shall be, but correct and intelligible I cannot guarantee.

So, caveat emptor, I make no promises in my blogging content. My only hope is that you can enjoy my stream of consciousness writing and can relate to what I am spewing into blogland. If not, at least maybe you can get a laugh or two.

Thanks for reading; I look forward to your thoughts and comments!

Signed,
Semi-Coherent Mad Man